It's just such a deeply ingrained drive that we have. I sometimes feel like I'm making progress then bam alluvasudden it hits me when I least expect it.
That's our flesh, chemical physiological drives with much power behind them. I've got it bad. I was molested for a few weeks when I was 12, and the damage done to the brain by that is incalculable. That, and other factors during my development, left me with mental illness - a horribly corrupted flesh. The brain doesn't develop right.
But except for the degree, we are all in the same boat! We weren't born from pure genetics, and our lives - everyone's - leave us scarred, and those scars, and that brain maldevelopment, set up strong drives within us. And the world, and the spirit realm, its War!
Our mission is to not yield to our screaming flesh as it pushes us to give it what it wants. The world pushes us, our flesh pushes us, the devils push us, all pushing as hard as they can to push us over the edge into sin. Through unholy desires, through fears and angers and whatever it is.
But this is when we need to remember, to believe, that's not me, it's sin that lives in me, but it's not me. I don't have to give in.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace!
What I find is that as I remember How MUCH God Loves me, and that whether I fall this time or not, He still loves me, and will NEVER EVER forsake me . . . so much of the energy to all that pushing just disappears. Not always, the flesh is a harsh taskmaster. But we can still overcome.
I find victory over sin not by resisting the sin, but by doing something else instead, and let the body work out it's own problems. Is there war in this place? Go somewhere else, don't stay and fight.
That means pick up a Bible, or start to sing, or wash some dishes, pray for everyone you know for victory over sin, go for a walk, Don't own the thoughts, or the feelings, or any of that! It's not you.
1 Corinthians 6:11 YLT
11) And certain of you were these! but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were declared righteous, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God.
My best response to the temptations to sin, the lusts of the flesh that try to overwhelm the mind, is to turn to God, It's happening again! And then make every effort to turn my mind to something else, and just wait for those feelings and thoughts to be over. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes not, no matter what, I trust in God to carry me through, even if I do fall.
Much love!