Commitment Over Marriage

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April_Rose

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I can see where this thread is headed, and I think I know why. And it's not good.

You need to get married in the eyes of God and legally BEFORE having sex. And you need to be faithful to your spouse and only have sex with him....






Once again I'm not sleeping with anybody else,.. and you can't tell me what to do. Sharing your opinion is fine,.. but now you're sounding over controlling and demanding and that isn't good.
 
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Jane_Doe22

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First of all I'm not mocking God in any way, shape, or form. Second of all,.. I have never slept with anybody else. Third of all,.. people can walk away from a marriage too. It's called divorce. It doesn't make it right, but it still happens.
With all possible respect here: sexual relations are reserved for those whom have made a commitment between the husband + wife + God.
Anything else is not's God's way.

If you and this man aren't yet in a position to be fully committed (which includes getting married), that's fine. But then acknowledge that fact and live your lives in the way God would have you.

April_Rose, I don't know what your reasons are for not getting married yet. Having spent years working in Christian university communities, it feels like I've heard about every reason or excuse under the sun. Most of them, relating to money. But money is not a reason to not follow God's ways.
 
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DNB

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Just so everyone knows once we can get married then we will.
Who told you that, you, or God? At this point, just not to make matters worse, I hope that you do get married, but you have no control of what the future holds, but are acting like you do. God will be very displeased with you, as He is already, but even more if you don't get married, for whatever reason.
 

Prayer Warrior

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No. And now you're getting too personal with your questions so I would ask you politely and kindly to please knock it off. This is off topic.
Lol, I was responding to something you said. All you have to do is say no, you're not committing adultery by having sex with a married man.
 

dev553344

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Actually, I KNOW why.

Havig sex makes you one flesh. It doesn't make YOU MARRIED.

You're confusing "marriage" of one flesh with the Godly covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, me thinks :)
 

Prayer Warrior

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April, you can do whatever you want to do. But if you don't live God's way, you will not please Him and have the rewards of living in a way that is pleasing to Him. And there are negative consequences for not living His way.

That's all I can tell you. It's you life and your choice.
 
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DNB

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You're probably right. I think perhaps God must marry the flesh in the covenant to be truly one flesh. But you had said it the other way, OK I'll just go with this idea instead.
I appreciate you being supportive in one context, consolation, but not endorsing her behaviour. You are sounding misguided right now, and trying to glorify the ignoble. You need to direct her correctly. You can be gentle and loving about it, but not approving of her frivolous and contemptuous behaviour. We all make mistakes, don't embrace them.
 
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Prayer Warrior

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You're probably right. I think perhaps God must marry the flesh in the covenant to be truly one flesh. But you had said it the other way, OK I'll just go with this idea instead.
I don't know what you THINK I said.

I never said that sex before or outside of a committed marriage relationship is what God would have someone do. Not sure how you got anything else out of what I said. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear, I guess.
 

dev553344

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I appreciate you being supportive in one context, consolation, but not endorsing her behaviour. You are sounding misguided right now, and trying to glorify the ignoble. You need to direct her correctly. You can be gentle and loving about it, but not approving of her frivolous and contemptuous behaviour. We all make mistakes, don't embrace them.

Yes sure, and I've worked with disabled people for decades now. And AprilRose has expressed that she is special needs. So I'm not trying to come of self righteous or judgemental. Special needs people require more love and acceptance. While yes they also need guidance. But the guidance should be supplied gently.
 
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April_Rose

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Yes sure, and I've worked with disabled people for decades now. And AprilRose has expressed that she is special needs. So I'm not trying to come of self righteous or judgemental. Special needs people require more love and acceptance. While yes they also need guidance. But the guidance should be supplied gently.






Aww,... thank you. :)
 
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DNB

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Yes sure, and I've worked with disabled people for decades now. And AprilRose has expressed that she is special needs. So I'm not trying to come of self righteous or judgemental. Special needs people require more love and acceptance. While yes they also need guidance. But the guidance should be supplied gently.
Ok, that's great, but again, be gentle, but follow God's ways. You said it yourself, she is not acting according to the Gospel (and that was to me, not to her). Tell her to stop the sex. If she truly loves him, this can wait. Real love transcends the physical.
 

dev553344

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Ok, that's great, but again, be gentle, but follow God's ways. You said it yourself, she is not acting according to the Gospel (and that was to me, not to her). Tell her to stop the sex. If she truly loves him, this can wait. Real love transcends the physical.

Well I told her me and my ex-spouse waited till marriage, isn't that good enough?
 

DNB

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Aww,... thank you. :)
AR, you've been told by everyone that has replied to your thread, that what you're doing is wrong. Only DW has not directly come out and said it, but he has implied it to myself, more than once.
Please God first, not your partner.
 

DNB

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Well I told her me and my ex-spouse waited till marriage, isn't that good enough?
You didn't emphasize it, or state whether or not that you were pleased with the decision. You merely mentioned it as a matter of fact. It didn't hit home.