Commitment Over Marriage

[Jane_Doe22]

I do believe that this is an extremely important topic. Marriage is such a God given jewel and blessing.

 

[Rita]

As someone who slept with their husband before I got married, and became pregnant Can add a prospective from looking back April.
I have only ever had one sexual partner, I was not a Christian, I became a Christian about three years into my marriage. It wasn’t really until my divorce some 27 years later that the Lord dealt with that part of my life.
Did I have to repent of the choices I had made, yes. I never regretted all those decisions as they would mean I would have to regret my children, and I value them deeply. In many respects it was the marriage, timing and having my youngest son that led me to be at the right place to hear the gospel ( it was through an evangelistic event at the playgroup he went to ) God never gave up on me and greatly used my choices, even the ones that were unwise.
I have the same opinion about sleeping around and think it leads to so many issues.
I do believe now that we link on a soul level when we have sexual relationships with anyone, but did not understand that for many years.

What concerns me April is that you have relayed in another thread that you had feelings for someone else , and that it’s only in the last few days that you have decided to go ahead with the marriage. You were not sure about it all. I also wonder why you would start a thread about this and then take offence when people relay things that you do not want to hear.
I believe that it is often from the prospective of time that we evaluate the choices we make, and often as we grow as Christians.
I do understand what you say about marriage ( I have considered in the past wether divorce in Gods eyes is not having sexual relationship with your husband, something that I withdrew from a few years before the marriage finally ended.) If you use your evaluation that you are already married in Gods eyes, well the issue of being attracted to another man may be something you need to reflect on.
I don’t believe these things are for public ‘ debate’ , not unless you wanted to be accountable with the OP.
Even with the comments added, you need to talk to the Lord about it all, after all nothing is hidden from him, he knows your heart, circumstances, reasons ect.
Rita x

 

[Cristo Rei]

As someone who slept with their husband before I got married, and became pregnant Can add a prospective from looking back April.
I have only ever had one sexual partner, I was not a Christian, I became a Christian about three years into my marriage. It wasn’t really until my divorce some 27 years later that the Lord dealt with that part of my life.
Did I have to repent of the choices I had made, yes. I never regretted all those decisions as they would mean I would have to regret my children, and I value them deeply. In many respects it was the marriage, timing and having my youngest son that led me to be at the right place to hear the gospel ( it was through an evangelistic event at the playgroup he went to ) God never gave up on me and greatly used my choices, even the ones that were unwise.
I have the same opinion about sleeping around and think it leads to so many issues.
I do believe now that we link on a soul level when we have sexual relationships with anyone, but did not understand that for many years.

What concerns me April is that you have relayed in another thread that you had feelings for someone else , and that it’s only in the last few days that you have decided to go ahead with the marriage. You were not sure about it all. I also wonder why you would start a thread about this and then take offence when people relay things that you do not want to hear.
I believe that it is often from the prospective of time that we evaluate the choices we make, and often as we grow as Christians.
I do understand what you say about marriage ( I have considered in the past wether divorce in Gods eyes is not having sexual relationship with your husband, something that I withdrew from a few years before the marriage finally ended.) If you use your evaluation that you are already married in Gods eyes, well the issue of being attracted to another man may be something you need to reflect on.
I don’t believe these things are for public ‘ debate’ , not unless you wanted to be accountable with the OP.
Even with the comments added, you need to talk to the Lord about it all, after all nothing is hidden from him, he knows your heart, circumstances, reasons ect.
Rita x

Always wise words come from yourself in the UK there... LoL...
Ye look, her circumstances are unique, rare... I've told her that if people don't know then they will be confused by your story here...
I think she sees that now... But im interested about you saying that she said she had feelings for someone cos, well, it makes me worried about her... I can't say anymore but if u knew u would understand for sure...
I know her from b4 on another forum and we always got along. Same kind of humour i think... Know one knows just how strong and committed she has had to be in what is really an undesirable situation that is set to get a lot better for them...
Where is this thread where she's saying this?

 

[Prayer Warrior]

Always wise words come from yourself in the UK there... LoL...
Ye look, her circumstances are unique, rare... I've told her that if people don't know then they will be confused by your story here...
I think she sees that now... But im interested about you saying that she said she had feelings for someone cos, well, it makes me worried about her... I can't say anymore but if u knew u would understand for sure...
I know her from b4 on another forum and we always got along. Same kind of humour i think...
Where is this thread where she's saying this?

It seems that this would probably be best discussed in PM's and not on a public thread.

But I will be praying for you @April_Rose !

 

[Raccoon1010]

It seems that this would probably be best discussed in PM's and not on a public thread.

But I will be praying for you @April_Rose !

While we can respond because this is an open thread. She should be encouraged to talk to her priest regarding the matter. And hopefully the priest will be trained in appropriate Christian counseling.

 

[April_Rose]

Always wise words come from yourself in the UK there... LoL...
Ye look, her circumstances are unique, rare... I've told her that if people don't know then they will be confused by your story here...
I think she sees that now... But im interested about you saying that she said she had feelings for someone cos, well, it makes me worried about her... I can't say anymore but if u knew u would understand for sure...
I know her from b4 on another forum and we always got along. Same kind of humour i think... Know one knows just how strong and committed she has had to be in what is really an undesirable situation that is set to get a lot better for them...
Where is this thread where she's saying this?

I only thought I had feelings for someone else but I didn't. I really am committed and I never cheated on my man and @Prayer Warrior,.. thanks for the prayers. :) I would tell them my situation but it would make things ten thousand times worse. I'll explain to you more in a PM though.

 

[April_Rose]

While we can respond because this is an open thread. She should be encouraged to talk to her priest regarding the matter. And hopefully the priest will be trained in appropriate Christian counseling.

Well I'm not Catholic so it's really more of a preacher and not a priest.

 

[Prayer Warrior]

As someone who slept with their husband before I got married, and became pregnant Can add a prospective from looking back April.
I have only ever had one sexual partner, I was not a Christian, I became a Christian about three years into my marriage. It wasn’t really until my divorce some 27 years later that the Lord dealt with that part of my life.
Did I have to repent of the choices I had made, yes. I never regretted all those decisions as they would mean I would have to regret my children, and I value them deeply. In many respects it was the marriage, timing and having my youngest son that led me to be at the right place to hear the gospel ( it was through an evangelistic event at the playgroup he went to ) God never gave up on me and greatly used my choices, even the ones that were unwise.
I have the same opinion about sleeping around and think it leads to so many issues.
I do believe now that we link on a soul level when we have sexual relationships with anyone, but did not understand that for many years.

What concerns me April is that you have relayed in another thread that you had feelings for someone else , and that it’s only in the last few days that you have decided to go ahead with the marriage. You were not sure about it all. I also wonder why you would start a thread about this and then take offence when people relay things that you do not want to hear.
I believe that it is often from the prospective of time that we evaluate the choices we make, and often as we grow as Christians.
I do understand what you say about marriage ( I have considered in the past wether divorce in Gods eyes is not having sexual relationship with your husband, something that I withdrew from a few years before the marriage finally ended.) If you use your evaluation that you are already married in Gods eyes, well the issue of being attracted to another man may be something you need to reflect on.
I don’t believe these things are for public ‘ debate’ , not unless you wanted to be accountable with the OP.
Even with the comments added, you need to talk to the Lord about it all, after all nothing is hidden from him, he knows your heart, circumstances, reasons ect.
Rita x

I appreciate your wisdom that has come from experience and your willingness to share what you've learned over the years.

One thing I try to keep in mind on this forum is that things are not always as they seem. Unless we know someone in person, we never really know who is who. So, it's very hard to judge a person's reaction to someone rightly. I'll just leave it at that.

Blessings!

 

[Cristo Rei]

Well I'm not Catholic so it's really more of a preacher and not a priest.

It is good advice but, especially if u know them well... But u already know and your parents support you... Thats the most important thing...
Il go to PM

 

[Prayer Warrior]

I only thought I had feelings for someone else but I didn't. I really am committed and I never cheated on my man and @Prayer Warrior,.. thanks for the prayers. :) I would tell them my situation but it would make things ten thousand times worse. I'll explain to you more in a PM though.

You're welcome! You have them whenever you need them.

 

[April_Rose]

It's like that old saying goes,.. you really don't know what it's like to be another person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

 

[Jane_Doe22]

It's like that old saying goes,.. you really don't know what it's like to be another person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

If you would ever want to talk, including me sharing personal stories or stuff, feel free to PM me. I am sorry that things were so poorly received at the beginning.

And of course, prayers for you and your beloved.

 

[Rita]

I only thought I had feelings for someone else but I didn't. I really am committed and I never cheated on my man and @Prayer Warrior,.. thanks for the prayers. :) I would tell them my situation but it would make things ten thousand times worse. I'll explain to you more in a PM though.

Thank you for putting that in context April xx
Rita

 

[Cristo Rei]

Ye no one here can be blamed for anything here @April_Rose cos to be fair, u didn't tell them your situation and so it sounds unusually odd...
And if you did open up with your situation you would get a lot of conflicting opinions as well, i wouldn't cos like iv said and like u said above, people don't fully understand unless they've been in your shoes...

But if you want to speak to a woman about it privately i would highly recommend @Rita... Just look at her likes ratio... LoL...
And @Prayer Warrior as well whose like ratio also speaks for itself...

 

[Rita]

I appreciate your wisdom that has come from experience and your willingness to share what you've learned over the years.

One thing I try to keep in mind on this forum is that things are not always as they seem. Unless we know someone in person, we never really know who is who. So, it's very hard to judge a person's reaction to someone rightly. I'll just leave it at that.

Blessings!

I hope it didn’t come across that I was sitting in judgement on April, it was more from the motive of reflecting on the whole subject of marriage in Gods eyes because of how she had evaluated it. I have no right to sit in judgement on April, not with my own past xx Rita

 

[Raccoon1010]

Ye no one here can be blamed for anything here @April_Rose cos to be fair, u didn't tell them your situation and so it sounds unusually odd...
And if you did open up with your situation you would get a lot of conflicting opinions as well, i wouldn't cos like iv said and like u said above, people don't fully understand unless they've been in your shoes...

But if you want to speak to a woman about it privately i would highly recommend @Rita... Just look at her likes ratio... LoL...
And @Prayer Warrior as well whose like ratio also speaks for itself...

Likes... yeah sometimes I look at that when I see a comment that is off the wall, and I'm like.. OK now I understand. But I don't always look. And I don't post to get likes. So I try not to judge either.:

 

[Rita]

Ye no one here can be blamed for anything here @April_Rose cos to be fair, u didn't tell them your situation and so it sounds unusually odd...
And if you did open up with your situation you would get a lot of conflicting opinions as well, i wouldn't cos like iv said and like u said above, people don't fully understand unless they've been in your shoes...

But if you want to speak to a woman about it privately i would highly recommend @Rita... Just look at her likes ratio... LoL...
And @Prayer Warrior as well whose like ratio also speaks for itself...

Lol , I get more likes because I don’t post much - not sure the ratio would be the same if I posted endless posts !! Lol
April, I am old , perhaps a bit wiser than I use to be and have four children who have tested and pushed me to learn the value of unconditional love. I think a number of people have offered to be a listening ears , and sometimes too many voices can just create so much to work through as we all have different prospectives.
I have no idea what decisions I would have made back then had I been a Christian, although I had had boyfriends before that and was engage to be married about a year before I met my husband. I had chosen not to sleep with them. Also I was kind of pressurised into sleeping with him , a long story ( but I still made the decision to comply, I was so naive ) My own past kind of dictated so much that I was not aware of until the Lord took me on a journey through it all.
Much love to you xx
Rita

 

[Taken]

I finally decided to bring this up considering the fact that my fiancee and I have slept together several times now, and even though we still do plan on getting married we've been together since high school so I sort of feel like we're married in the heart so I feel like we're married already and a ceremony is just that and a certificate is just a piece of paper. I think that all God means is not to have a one-night stand.

I believe it is the commitment between a man and woman...regardless of a government piece of paper.

Just as it is a Commitment between a man-KIND and Christ Jesus...without a document issued by the Government.

If you and your man had the conversation in Agreement to be joined together...that was your (heartfilled word) , his (heartfilled ?word) yes? and In the presence of God (your governing government).

If that be so...an Earthly Government is irrelevant. IMO

Glory to God,
Taken

 

[Enoch111]

I think that all God means is not to have a one-night stand.

This sounds like the Jack O' Lantern you have.

 

[OzSpen]

Nobody in this thread so far knows my whole entire situation and for reasons I don't wish to disclose we unfortunately cannot get married.

Would you agree with the view a committed defacto relationship is equivalent to marriage today?