Commitment Over Marriage

[Rita]

Can you at least confirm for me that there is a lot more going on here that they will even begin to understand? As I've been through more than they know.

Yes, there is a much bigger picture to what you have conveyed
Rita

 

[Waiting on him]

Marriage (properly done) IS a sacramental ceremony: a covenant between God+man+woman.

So why is the witness of others needed?

 

[DNB]

I have been thinking about this. Me and my wife had fun before we were married and I wouldn't change anything, both me and her never got to let lose like most kids and when we had a chance we did but we always planned to be wed. Though I don't view the marriage license as just piece of paper, it is a key without which you can be shutout of many things. Like for instance if the worst happens and your guy gets injured by law they will not let you in because your not a spouse, there are other things.

That being said I also know of a couple that if they got he marriage license both their Social Security would go way down, so they went to social security and the guy told them to basically shack up. They both could not do that so they went to a Priest and talked to him and he married them right there. So there are benefits and cost for a marriage license but when your young you should try to get legally married if you can. Hope I didn't sound judgemental

That was a deplorable response. What does '...Me and my wife had fun before we were married and I wouldn't change anything...', supposed to mean?
Are you calling having sex as 'fun', and are you endorsing sex out of marriage, for as you 'wouldn't change a thing'?
Sorry, if I've misunderstood you somehow, but, if not, that was an absolutely reprehensible reply and sentiment. And, you only see the practical reasons for getting married, not the sanctity and devotion, not the discipline and fortitude, not the responsibility, etc...?
No wonder she asked for your opinion, all that she has been begging for is someone to tell her what she wants to hear - fornication is good ' as long as it's not a one-night-stand'.
Why don't you try being 'judgmental' for a change, and not so frivolous and irresponsible?

 

[Prayer Warrior]

So why is the witness of others needed?

To witness that the covenant has been made.

 

[Waiting on him]

To witness that the covenant has been made.

Sorry, I thought she posted it was between God the man and the woman. God made covenants without witnesses, made one with Abraham while he was asleep.

 

[DNB]

I am sorry but there are reasons as to why I will not be adding much to this thread now. Sometimes we see one piece of a puzzle and presume the whole picture, then we are given other pieces of the puzzle and a whole different picture emerges. I am hardly the right one to form any judgements considering I was pregnant before I got married, in all honesty because I got married I felt that I had put things right. It was years later that I dealt with things, but it was linked to forgiveness and not condemnation.
Rita

You are correct Rita, and thank you for the candor about yourself. My point is, your story is my story too, the difference is, I for sure, and I believe that you are also, not justifying or promoting such behaviour. That is all that I am saying. When AR said 'God only disapproves if it's a one-night-stand', this is where she showed her complacency and irresponsibility on the issue, in my opinion. She's hasn't acknowledged anyone's arguments who disagreed with her actions, not once.

 

[Prayer Warrior]

Sorry, I thought she posted it was between God the man and the woman. God made covenants without witnesses, made one with Abraham while he was asleep.

God made these covenants between him and a human, not between two humans.

I would think that any legal/contractual agreement requires some sort of witness, whether it's a notary or whatever.

IMO, it's a good idea to have a witness in order to protect both parties, but esp. the woman. I'm all for protecting women from predatory males.

 

[Waiting on him]

God made these covenants between him and a human, not between two humans.

I would think that any legal/contractual agreement requires some sort of witness, whether it's a notary or whatever.

IMO, it's a good idea to have a witness in order to protect both parties, but esp. the woman. I'm all for protecting women from predatory males.

I didn’t realize AR’s espoused was a predator.

 

[April_Rose]

I didn’t realize AR’s espoused was a predator.

He isn't. Neither of us are. Honestly.

 

[Jane_Doe22]

He isn't. Neither of us are. Honestly.

There’s way more to marriage than legal protection.

 

[Rita]

You are correct Rita, and thank you for the candor about yourself. My point is, your story is my story too, the difference is, I for sure, and I believe that you are also, not justifying or promoting such behaviour. That is all that I am saying. When AR said 'God only disapproves if it's a one-night-stand', this is where she showed her complacency and irresponsibility on the issue, in my opinion. She's hasn't acknowledged anyone's arguments who disagreed with her actions, not once.

I am not so sure I would have acknowledge it all those years ago DNB, as I said it was years later, 30 to be exact, that I really had to self examine the choices I had made. Her situation is more complicated at this moment in time and within some of the comments that have been made their are wrong assumptions about the here and now.
As I equally said in an earlier post, I have questioned myself the whole issue of marriage in scripture and how we define it now. So I reserve judgement on whether a person is married in Gods eyes through the sexual act.
I don’t have any clear answers, hence why the jury is still out on the matter. I started to re evaluate it when I went though the divorce.
Rita

 

[Jane_Doe22]

To witness that the covenant has been made.

Now one thing that is not needed: all of the Disney princess frillingness. Wanting frilliness is a horrible excuse to postpone marriage.

Note: I don’t think this applies to AR’s case. But I have heard this excuse in other cases, including my best friend of many years.

 

[Waiting on him]

No one has yet to answer why God views the ceremony as acceptable in my opinion

 

[Waiting on him]

Is it because the bride wore white ?
The groom blushed ?
They had a piece of paper saying the government/man approved ?
A “ priest” performed the ceremony?

 

[Cristo Rei]

Well, I hope that you're right, CR, about her being in an extenuating circumstance, but, I'm skeptical. Is her situation so unique that you just can't come out and tell her to stop having illicit sex, and offending God?

Skepticism is me too man... LoL... Thats why i pulled her up like what are you doing... U can't get upset at them cos u didn't tell them and without them knowing it sound strange. All i can give you is my word... Hers and his situations are unique, unfortunate, unwanted and very rare. I feel for them both and hope that they get through this into green pastures with the guidance of the Holy Spirit...

Will there be repercussion if they both abstain

Uh ye there could be, yes its possible... But i can't say anymore

where's the argument in favour of her position?

Look its not for me to tell... I do have a simple answer for this but can u let the curiosity go please.
She knows she messed up bringing that here now. An answer to your question there is that they are unable to get married at this point in time, the opportunity isn't available... Please just let it go instead of trying to speculate...

God Bless

 

[Prayer Warrior]

I didn’t realize AR’s espoused was a predator.

This a ridiculous statement. Surely you KNOW that this isn't what I was saying.

Edit: I see that @April_Rose knows that I wasn't saying this. Statements like this, that misrepresent what a person is saying, are only meant to stir up strife.

 

[DNB]

I am not so sure I would have acknowledge it all those years ago DNB, as I said it was years later, 30 to be exact, that I really had to self examine the choices I had made. Her situation is more complicated at this moment in time and within some of the comments that have been made their are wrong assumptions about the here and now.
As I equally said in an earlier post, I have questioned myself the whole issue of marriage in scripture and how we define it now. So I reserve judgement on whether a person is married in Gods eyes through the sexual act.
I don’t have any clear answers, hence why the jury is still out on the matter. I started to re evaluate it when I went though the divorce.
Rita

Ok, thank you Rita.
Fornication is having sex out of wedlock, and fornication is unequivocally wrong, that much is clear by any decent person's esteem.
What AR is doing is wrong, and she should not be promoting it like she appears to be trying to do. Despite her situation, God will regard her very favourably if she resigns herself to control her urges, especially under these alleged extenuating circumstances. God puts people to the test, and He doesn't try to get them to find loop-holes or make excuses.
Jacob waited for Rachel 7 years, and Jesus was a virgin.

 

[DNB]

Skepticism is me too man... LoL... Thats why i pulled her up like what are you doing... U can't get upset at them cos u didn't tell them and without them knowing it sound strange. All i can give you is my word... Hers and his situations are unique, unfortunate, unwanted and very rare. I feel for them both and hope that they get through this into green pastures with the guidance of the Holy Spirit...

Uh ye there could be, yes its possible... But i can't say anymore

Look its not for me to tell... I do have a simple answer for this but can u let the curiosity go please.
She knows she messed up bringing that here now. An answer to your question there is that they are unable to get married at this point in time, the opportunity isn't available... Please just let it go instead of trying to speculate...

God Bless

Ok, Cristo Rei, thank you for the honesty. I will drop it here.
Good luck to her and her fiancé.

 

[Waiting on him]

This a ridiculous statement. Surely you KNOW that this isn't what I was saying.

Edit: I see that @April_Rose knows that I wasn't saying this. Statements like this, that misrepresent what a person is saying, are only meant to stir up strife.

I haven’t read all of the posts.
Maybe you could tell me what makes this institution acceptable to God?

 

[Prayer Warrior]

I haven’t read all of the posts.
Maybe you could tell me what makes this institution acceptable to God?

I wouldn't dare under threat of having my beliefs misrepresented by you. Thanks anyway for asking.