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VictoryinJesus

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Curious. I don’t know who is married, not married, was married …

What would you do if your spouse came home and told you they are trading you out for someone more attractive to them. Their lust after them is just undeniable and they have to pursue that lust to see where it goes?

What if years later they returned after trying out and exploring their lust after one more attractive to them than you were …and said they are sorry. They made a mistake. Could you forgive and forget? Could you…would you welcome them back?
 
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Lambano

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That situation did happen with a couple in my church. When he did come back years later, they for whatever reasons did not resume a husband-wife relationship, but more like really close friends. He took care of her during that last horrible year as the cancer slowly took her life. A sad story. He told me and my wife that he and his ex got along much better when they weren't married to each other.

Could I accept back an unfaithful spouse who abandoned me for years? I hope I never have to find out. The perspective that God has accepted ME back is always in the background, but how do you rebuild the broken trust?
 

VictoryinJesus

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Could I accept back an unfaithful spouse who abandoned me for years? I hope I never have to find out. The perspective that God has accepted ME back is always in the background, but how do you rebuild the broken trust?
Exactly. I really don’t think I could. That was the point in considering how merciful and forgiving and long-suffering and patient God is towards us. I’ve been thinking about how God told Jerusalem that after she went after other gods, after her pursuit of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life…when she returns to Him that He will forgive her. Blows my mind, honestly.

Agree. I say there is no way I could forgive and forget betrayal. But like you I stop and think …isn’t that what God has did for you?
 

VictoryinJesus

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but how do you rebuild the broken trust?
Good point. How do you rebuild the broken trust? In going after other things we lust after instead of God? Makes me think of “rebuild” “edification” the building up of the body in Christ
 

Lambano

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Good point. How do you rebuild the broken trust? In going after other things we lust after instead of God?
Interesting point. God can see through all deceit and pretense, so how do we earn God's trust?

On here on the human plane, we can't always see through the lies and the smokescreens, so we have to keep our eyes wide open before we can trust again.
 
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VictoryinJesus

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Interesting point. God can see through all deceit and pretense, so how do we earn God's trust?

On here on the human plane, we can't always see through the lies and the smokescreens, so we have to keep our eyes wide open before we can trust again.
I don’t know if it is our earning God’s trust…or His building up our trust in Him. Which makes no sense since He isn’t the one who did wrong. Especially in light of after you abandon Me, I won’t abandon you…but will be waiting patiently for when you return again to me, I will forgive you. < building trust? What He said is (Imo) this is trusted tried and true. I will have Mercy.
 

Wynona

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Curious. I don’t know who is married, not married, was married …

What would you do if your spouse came home and told you they are trading you out for someone more attractive to them. Their lust after them is just undeniable and they have to pursue that lust to see where it goes?

What if years later they returned after trying out and exploring their lust after one more attractive to them than you were …and said they are sorry. They made a mistake. Could you forgive and forget? Could you…would you welcome them back?
I now believe that marriage is for life and infidelity is not a biblical reason to remarry. If my husband left, I would remain alone as long as he was still alive.

I agree with the spouses that pray and stand for their marriages when the others go astray.

Only the Holy Spirit can enable that kind of faithfulness but I believe it's important to keep the door to reconciliation open. I believe all the remarriages people are now okay with have created deep wounds in the next generation and hurt our witness.

Given that mindset, I would forgive my spouse that was sorry and take them back, since that would be the hope of me standing alone and not remarrying.
 

VictoryinJesus

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I now believe that marriage is for life and infidelity is not a biblical reason to remarry. If my husband left, I would remain alone as long as he was still alive.

I agree with the spouses that pray and stand for their marriages when the others go astray.

Only the Holy Spirit can enable that kind of faithfulness but I believe it's important to keep the door to reconciliation open. I believe all the remarriages people are now okay with have created deep wounds in the next generation and hurt our witness.

Given that mindset, I would forgive my spouse that was sorry and take them back, since that would be the hope of me standing alone and not remarrying.
Good post! ❤️
 

ScottA

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Curious. I don’t know who is married, not married, was married …

What would you do if your spouse came home and told you they are trading you out for someone more attractive to them. Their lust after them is just undeniable and they have to pursue that lust to see where it goes?

What if years later they returned after trying out and exploring their lust after one more attractive to them than you were …and said they are sorry. They made a mistake. Could you forgive and forget? Could you…would you welcome them back?

That's a bit vague.

You see, if one were married to the devil...they should not welcome them back.

But on the other hand, if one was just a backsliding wannabe christian looking for forgiveness, then it is a choice. The reason why I say it is a choice, is that if the bond is already broken, even God may have other plans. Now I know that goes against the common idea of Christian marriage, but look at the precedence set down by God...not only did He divorce Israel (not making void His salvation plans for them), but He also went on to another (the gentiles) after Israel had rejected Him. Of course, that does not give one license to divorce or have affairs according to "what God has joined together let not man separate." The point being, that it is God who determines any such course of action, not a man or his wife. Be careful! In fact, because of the seriousness of this seemingly unbiblical alternative, I would advise that anyone faced with any sort of discourse along these lines, first say NO to yourself, as well as NO to your spouse, and even say NO to God--and let it be Him who corrects you, if and only if He wills...just as Paul being appointed by Jesus to be an apostle to the gentiles first exhausted every effort to maintain relations with the Jews before moving on to the gentiles who would then predominately make up the bride of Christ.

In other words, there is a time perhaps for both, a time to forgive and reconcile, and a time to let the cord be severed--but not by our own hand. Which is also the case for possible remarriage after the death of a spouse. God decides. Therefore, resist both divorce and death, and yield only to God.
 

VictoryinJesus

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That's a bit vague.

You see, if one were married to the devil...they should not welcome them back.

But on the other hand, if one was just a backsliding wannabe christian looking for forgiveness, then it is a choice. The reason why I say it is a choice, is that if the bond is already broken, even God may have other plans. Now I know that goes against the common idea of Christian marriage, but look at the precedence set down by God...not only did He divorce Israel (not making void His salvation plans for them), but He also went on to another (the gentiles) after Israel had rejected Him. Of course, that does not give one license to divorce or have affairs according to "what God has joined together let not man separate." The point being, that it is God who determines any such course of action, not a man or his wife. Be careful! In fact, because of the seriousness of this seemingly unbiblical alternative, I would advise that anyone faced with any sort of discourse along these lines, first say NO to yourself, as well as NO to your spouse, and even say NO to God--and let it be Him who corrects you, if and only if He wills...just as Paul being appointed by Jesus to be an apostle to the gentiles first exhausted every effort to maintain relations with the Jews before moving on to the gentiles who would then predominately make up the bride of Christ.

In other words, there is a time perhaps for both, a time to forgive and reconcile, and a time to let the cord be severed--but not by our own hand. Which is also the case for possible remarriage after the death of a spouse. God decides. Therefore, resist both divorce and death, and yield only to God.
Appreciate your perspective.
 
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Patrick1966

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Curious. I don’t know who is married, not married, was married …

What would you do if your spouse came home and told you they are trading you out for someone more attractive to them. Their lust after them is just undeniable and they have to pursue that lust to see where it goes?

What if years later they returned after trying out and exploring their lust after one more attractive to them than you were …and said they are sorry. They made a mistake. Could you forgive and forget? Could you…would you welcome them back?

Yes.
 

VictoryinJesus

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That's a bit vague.

You see, if one were married to the devil...they should not welcome them back.

But on the other hand, if one was just a backsliding wannabe christian looking for forgiveness, then it is a choice. The reason why I say it is a choice, is that if the bond is already broken, even God may have other plans. Now I know that goes against the common idea of Christian marriage, but look at the precedence set down by God...not only did He divorce Israel (not making void His salvation plans for them), but He also went on to another (the gentiles) after Israel had rejected Him. Of course, that does not give one license to divorce or have affairs according to "what God has joined together let not man separate." The point being, that it is God who determines any such course of action, not a man or his wife. Be careful! In fact, because of the seriousness of this seemingly unbiblical alternative, I would advise that anyone faced with any sort of discourse along these lines, first say NO to yourself, as well as NO to your spouse, and even say NO to God--and let it be Him who corrects you, if and only if He wills...just as Paul being appointed by Jesus to be an apostle to the gentiles first exhausted every effort to maintain relations with the Jews before moving on to the gentiles who would then predominately make up the bride of Christ.

In other words, there is a time perhaps for both, a time to forgive and reconcile, and a time to let the cord be severed--but not by our own hand. Which is also the case for possible remarriage after the death of a spouse. God decides. Therefore, resist both divorce and death, and yield only to God.
Really considering what you said. I am reading Hosea again. A few things stand out to me as they can’t be just random.

First) where Yahweh instructed Hosea to marry a harlot.
Is it random that Jesus Christ instructed the same? “Go make unto yourselves friends with the unrighteous mammon, so that (not if but) when it fails, they will receive you into everlasting habitations.” The same outcome of what Hosea was told of receiving her back and welcoming her in returning.

Yes. God put her away for her whoredoms but also (if I understand correctly) Hosea 2:19-20 And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. [20] I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.

Second) abstinence.
Hosea 3:3-5 And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee. [4] For the children of Israel shall abide many days without a king, and without a prince, and without a sacrifice, and without an image, and without an ephod, and without teraphim: [5] Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the Lord their God, and David their king; and shall fear the Lord and his goodness in the latter days.

To me the above helps with Abstinence/fasting.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

How could that possibly have anything to do with …remaining without a king, without a sacrifice, without an image? A lot (Imo). Clearer than the sexual indications when God was always instructing he was sick of their fasts and long prayers and speeches, sick of their sacrifices and burnt offerings. Where He asked them “is this the fast that I called for?” …or is “the fast I called for to set the captives free? To give sight to the blind?” Which is what Jesus Christ came to fulfill.

That the husband and wife give themselves unto fasting for a season …the season, time of the gentiles. that when they come together again. Consider He said if the blinding of them be for us, how much more the receiving of them will be. Life from the dead. Is this time of the Gentiles, the time of fasting, the time of setting the captives free? …Israel’s: Defraud you not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

When did they consent to the going of the Gentiles. What is “incontinency”? Acts 13:46 Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you: but seeing you put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles.

But isn’t it for a season? They’re consenting by putting it away from them. For the fast that He called for…to set the captives free?

Maybe that doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t to me either. But it is enough to show me God has a plan and it is good. They were made blind, so that we could see. Or that is the way I understand it. What does that have to do with marriage. It still shows me how much God suffers and endures and is patient.

Married to the devil? Aren’t we all while blinded?
 
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Nancy

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Curious. I don’t know who is married, not married, was married …

What would you do if your spouse came home and told you they are trading you out for someone more attractive to them. Their lust after them is just undeniable and they have to pursue that lust to see where it goes?

What if years later they returned after trying out and exploring their lust after one more attractive to them than you were …and said they are sorry. They made a mistake. Could you forgive and forget? Could you…would you welcome them back?
That can be a very difficult thing to accept. Biblically speaking, God would want "forgiveness and reconciliation". Or to at least forgive, and that can take a long time for some. He forgives AND forgets, it's easier in my opinion to forgive than to forget. Trust is such a fragile, thing and once broken like that...it would take much power of the Holy Spirit to rise above our emotions. JMHO...
xoxo
 
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VictoryinJesus

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That can be a very difficult thing to accept. Biblically speaking, God would want "forgiveness and reconciliation". Or to at least forgive, and that can take a long time for some. He forgives AND forgets, it's easier in my opinion to forgive than to forget. Trust is such a fragile, thing and once broken like that...it would take much power of the Holy Spirit to rise above our emotions. JMHO...
xoxo
Agree. That is why I thought of it. Because of how impossible it would seem. I would like to say I could forgive and forget. But I don’t know because I’m broken and insecure. Already struggling with being enough or valuable which to me would make it hard to overcome my own message I tell myself. What I tell myself the obstacle. But I don’t see God as broken, insecure, or struggling with value of being enough. Don’t see Him as having to overcome Himself as the obstacle. His more able than I could ever be to forgive and forget. I’m still struggling with Jerusalem and whether I’m seeing it wrong that He never stops stretching out a hand to her to receive her back. But I can most definitely relate to my own going after other things besides Him (or I wouldn’t be broken, struggling with value and insecure) and His forgiving my ignorance.
 
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Nancy

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Agree. That is why I thought of it. Because of how impossible it would seem. I would like to say I could forgive and forget. But I don’t know because I’m broken and insecure. Already struggling with being enough or valuable which to me would make it hard to overcome my own message I tell myself. What I tell myself the obstacle. But I don’t see God as broken, insecure, or struggling with value of being enough. Don’t see Him as having to overcome Himself as the obstacle. His more able than I could ever be to forgive and forget. I’m still struggling with Jerusalem and whether I’m seeing it wrong that He never stops stretching out a hand to her to receive her back. But I can most definitely relate to my own going after other things besides Him (or I wouldn’t be broken, struggling with value and insecure) and His forgiving my ignorance.
He wasn't kidding when He said we'd have all kinds of trials and tribulations on this earth! Your post brought to mind a song by the Martens, you've probably heard it before but, it brings me back to reality and is a comfort. I pray you will be able to rise above that mountain before you sister. xoxo

 

VictoryinJesus

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He wasn't kidding when He said we'd have all kinds of trials and tribulations on this earth! Your post brought to mind a song by the Martens, you've probably heard it before but, it brings me back to reality and is a comfort. I pray you will be able to rise above that mountain before you sister. xoxo

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying that is my mountain. It was only my considering what if my life doesn’t go the way I planned. Mostly considering or reflecting on would or could I trust God if things don’t go my way or as I planned. I’m not denying my future isn’t uncertain…because it is. but that is why I’m considering one thing which (Imo) is certain and that is His forgiveness, mercy, grace, Long-suffering and Love. It reminds me of Paul saying everyone had left but that Jesus Christ stood with him. Just trying to get it through my thick head whenever things don’t go my way that doesn’t mean God can’t be trusted. Because I do sometimes forget. So that was the reason for reflecting on His everlasting Mercy in telling them He would forgive still.
 
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