- Aug 14, 2008
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Hello, at the moment im really upset with myself, but it maybe because of my ocd, im not sure.I was baptised just before Christmas and now a born again Christian, but it didn't turn out well for me.I kept putting off getting baptised ( i still didn't know the seriousness in it or i was afriad on unknown things) for a long time, but i still tried my best to ebey the bible and do what is right, then right before Christmas my grandma got the pastor at her church to give me a baptism.Now i suffer from alot of anxiety so all i wanted to do on that day is get in and out of there.This is what really upsetted me, I am so glade now that ive got baptised but why was i soo uncomfortable on the day it happen?also then i obsessed (ocd) over the event for like a month after wards thinking i somehow did something wrong during the baptism.Why was i like this, why was my experience so uncomfortable, also the pastor gave me something to read about the event but i had never read it ( which maybe because of everythign on my mind).I feel like a weak christian that was not at all interested but deep down wanted to be interested, which confused me, i dont know if i was interested or not.But looking back at it now, im sooooo glade i was baptised, i love god with all my heart and try my best to do everything thats right.but now its like i got a fear of hell, i feel like I MUST BE BAPTISED again. because so many things go inside my head telling me, Oh you only done this to please your grandma and things alike, which upsets me even more because now i feel like there was no meaning to my batism, so pleease help me, what do i do.And i got terrible anxiety so when im with a bunch of people i dont know i get uneasyAm i really saved or do i have to do this all over againEdit: My mother ( who was also there at the day) thinks im worrying over nothing and there is no need for an other baptism and im beating myself up over nothing as she belives ive been saved on that day. what do you think.