Everyone Goes to Heaven

[Harold]

Around 1:34 PM today October 30th 2023 my mother tells me she worked in a factory. I remember in the past, she told me she had a coworker who was a friend and they had a disagreement over what the temperature should be. And this was the reason why they stopped being friends with each other.



So that story gave me a particular mindset towards disagreements. But when I think about, was it really the disagreement itself that lead to their friendship ending? Or moreso, the way they handled it. Because I think people can still respectfully disagree on something. For many Christian Universalists, sometimes the only thing that they can all agree on is that all will be saved by Christ.



```2 Timothy 2:23 NRSVue Have nothing to do with stupid and senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. ```

2 Timothy 2:23 - The Lord's Approved Workman



Controversies ζητήσεις (zētēseis) here can also be interpreted as Strong's 2214: A question, debate, speculation; a seeking, search. From zeteo; a searching, i.e. A dispute or its theme. As I mentioned before, my mother is the type of person who regularly quarrels with others. So maybe it was just a mismatch of personality types? I think, if people are kinder to each other, they would be able to exist despite disagreements in theology and scripture interpretation and still remain friends. If I stopped being friends with someone because I personally disagreed with them something random, I don’t think I would have any friends!



Still I appreciate the diversity too in Universalism spaces, it makes for interesting dialogue. I’ve held so many views, many of which have changed as I’ve been presented with new information, that I would be shocked if something literally agreed with every single one of them. And even if they somehow did, I end up changing my interpretations of certain Bible verses that I don’t know if they would follow my same route either.



Overall, I think a person should be friends with a person for the sake of the person themselves. Our knowledge is constantly fluctuating and changing, maybe sometimes they’ll match, or overlap, and othertimes be completely seperated from each other. But if we’re only friends with someone just because they just so happen to agree with the same things of us, then we fall into the trap of basing our friendship on a fleeting temporal construct.

 

[Harold]

This morning Oct 31 2023 Tuesday there was a person speaking IRL and they spoke of how gender is a social construct which is different from biological sex, which I agree with. We see how different cultures perceive gender differently, and how societies perception of gender has changed throughout history, though the gender one is born with remains the same.
I remember how an LGBTQIA+ member on Discord DMed me months ago asked me how gender would work in Heaven. I affirm transgender people.
Galations 3:28 NRSVue There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28 - Sons Through Faith in Christ
On Earth, society’s view of gender is constantly shifting, though no one changes their gender as it is what a person is born with. There can be different societies on Earth which perceive people's genders differently, but it doesn't change the fact that people are born with a gender that does not change.
Still though, who knows if the social construct of gender will even exist in Heaven? Since gender is a societal phenomenon than that means it’s based off of the society of Earth while we are on Earth. But who can say what the social constructs of Heaven will be? Who can say what the society of Heaven will be like?
I’m an AMAB gender fluid person and sometimes I feel like being a girl other times I feel like being non-binary. But I can say for certainty right now that my gender expression does not 100% match me being assigned as a male at birth. So I at least have that understanding. Still, I don’t know for sure what my own gender identity has been and is, so I just use the pronouns he/him/they/them currently out of personal preference. This is a general concept I’ve thought of for months and, hearing this person IRL talk about it, made me decide to type out my own personal theorizing here as today’s quote.
Regardless though, there’s nothing wrong with being transgender. And I fully support trans rights. All people, regardless of whether they have a gender identity or do not, will become believers in Christ and thus gain permanent life. Though my own understanding of societal aspects is constantly changing, what is constant is the love that God has for all of us. And I believe He is also patient with us. I’m sure He will give us more understanding through grace as time goes on.

 

[Harold]

Today, November 1st 2023 I noticed there was someone online who asked the question “What’s the point in being a Christian if everyone is saved” my answer is that, a belief in Christ is necessary for salvation. And I see the fruits of this server better than that of many other mainstream Christian churches and I’ve been a Christian for years. The good news is truly good! And the evangelism of any form of Eternal Conscious Torment is utterly slanderous to the eternally loving nature of God.



```Nehemiah 9:31 NRSVue Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God. ```

Nehemiah 9:31 - The People Confess Their Sins



For example, if an atheist were to die, they wouldn’t automatically go to Heaven. I am not an Ultra Universalist; I consider myself a Universal Restorationist. But at the same time, that same atheist wouldn’t automatically go to an eternal hell either, but rather Gehenna the “Lake of Fire” which is a temporary state of suffering, until they are a believer in Christ, until they are saved. But everyone’s salvation is inevitable.



Everyone is saved because everyone becomes a believer in Christ eventually. And honestly, I wouldn’t even want to be a Christian if the god that I worship sends even a single person to an eternal hell. I only want to be Christian if everyone is saved. Because if god doesn’t save anyone then he becomes 1) a liar John 16:13 2) impatient 2 Peter 3:8–10a 3) a promise breaker 1 Corinthians 15:22 4) a failure 1 Corinthians 13:8 5) one who is forever angry Psalm 30:5 6) unmerciful Psalm 25:10 7) one who promotes an eternal existence of sin John 1:29 8) ungracious Isaiah 30:18 9) unjust Psalm 119:133 and 10) a horrible teacher Isaiah 54:13. And why should I worship a lying impatient promise-breaking eternally angry unmerciful forever-sin-promoting ungracious unjust horrible teacher?



Now imagine if there was a Christian who was 1) truthful 2) patient 3) kept their promises 4) victorious in Christ 5) not angry forever 6) merciful 7) one who desires the complete removal of sin 8) gracious 9) just and 10) a wise teacher. Why do these things, if everyone is going to saved anyways? Because these are simply good things to do! And because they reflect the divine nature of Our Father in Heaven. Amen.

 

[Harold]

Today Nov 11 2023 before 1:55 PM there was a new user who had just joined the Christian Universalists server who immediately began to question the validity of trans Christians. The simple truth is that trans Christians are Christians, I affirm them. The cruel part is that they directed this towards a trans Christian friend of mine on the server. It hurts because they have already suffered so much.



Do transphobic people hate transgender people so much that even their mere existence is a threat to them? Another simple truth is that people do not choose to be trans, they are born that way. Many transphobes are also homophobes and say that “people choose to be gay” which is wrong. People are born gay.



It reminds me of another Discord friend of mine who is also a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. I was lucky to have the opportunity to show them what Christian Universalism was and they became a Christian because of it. Growing up as a gay teenager in an atheist household, they held the view that all Christians were bigots. What made them believe in Christ? My affirmation of them.



Now, these Christian transphobes and homophobes are certainly bigots, but it shows just how damaging their behavior is. It literally prevents people from seeing the light of the Gospel! Being trans is not a sin. Being gay is not a sin. And holding a viewpoint that says otherwise literally bears bad fruit!



```James 3:18 NRSVue And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. ```



This gay teenager told me that it must have been fate that we met and thanked me for spreading God’s message, saying how if it weren’t for the Discord Servers I travelled through, the borderline verbal abuse that I experienced in them, that I wouldn’t have been able to find them and help them, saying that with their full chest they now truly believe in Jesus Christ. That was just this year in fact. Bigotry kept them from seeing the light of the Gospel, of Christian Universalism.



So to those of you who face verbal abuse online because you are LGBTQIA+ or an affirming ally, know that you are doing a great service to the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, you bear good fruit, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. God bless :)

 

[Hobie]

Well Christ loves the sinner, but He asks him to repent or face the wages of sin and perish.

Luke 13:3
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

 

[Harold]

Nov 2 2023 around 6:22 PM my infernalist mother comes downstairs and grabs me and starts shaking me while I am sitting in my black chair. She asks if I am possessed by the devil. I cough and she says that I could die from my cough. I wasn’t even telling her anything here and she was still going after me. Assuming that the devil’s a rational being, I think even he will be saved eventually, as well as all other rational beings who will become believers in Christ.

```Romans 11:32 NRSVue For God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all. ```



The strategy I was using here, which I’ve used for years, is “grey-rocking” Grey rock method: What it is and how to use it effectively which involves giving short answers and hiding emotional reactions. It hasn’t stopped my mother’s emotional abuse, but it helps me conserve energy. No matter what, my mother’s going to be using me as a sponge to lash out on. I might as well take in that abuse efficiently, I guess.



Of course, inside of me I still feel tense. So, on the outside, I try to keep up this look of being calm. Just enduring until it’s over with, not engaging with her unnecessarily, to reduce my stress. But it’s so hard when she keeps going at it again and again. Just imagining or even thinking about her presence can make me feel like this… bodily shaking on the inside? It’s hard to describe.



Like, I still have this habit of looking behind me. Sometimes I think my mother’s watching me, and I turn around and she’s not there. But other times I’m right, as shown by a recent incident where I literally felt like I was being watched without needing to see her behind me at first. So, when I turned around and literally, there she was, hiding behind an object, watching me, without saying anything, and I expected it. But it’s still very unsettling.

 

[Hobie]

Nov 2 2023 around 6:22 PM my infernalist mother comes downstairs and grabs me and starts shaking me while I am sitting in my black chair. She asks if I am possessed by the devil. I cough and she says that I could die from my cough. I wasn’t even telling her anything here and she was still going after me. Assuming that the devil’s a rational being, I think even he will be saved eventually, as well as all other rational beings who will become believers in Christ.

```Romans 11:32 NRSVue For God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all. ```



The strategy I was using here, which I’ve used for years, is “grey-rocking” Grey rock method: What it is and how to use it effectively which involves giving short answers and hiding emotional reactions. It hasn’t stopped my mother’s emotional abuse, but it helps me conserve energy. No matter what, my mother’s going to be using me as a sponge to lash out on. I might as well take in that abuse efficiently, I guess.



Of course, inside of me I still feel tense. So, on the outside, I try to keep up this look of being calm. Just enduring until it’s over with, not engaging with her unnecessarily, to reduce my stress. But it’s so hard when she keeps going at it again and again. Just imagining or even thinking about her presence can make me feel like this… bodily shaking on the inside? It’s hard to describe.



Like, I still have this habit of looking behind me. Sometimes I think my mother’s watching me, and I turn around and she’s not there. But other times I’m right, as shown by a recent incident where I literally felt like I was being watched without needing to see her behind me at first. So, when I turned around and literally, there she was, hiding behind an object, watching me, without saying anything, and I expected it. But it’s still very unsettling.

The devil knows what his end is and it is not in heaven with eternal life in Gods kingdom.
Revelation 20:10
And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

 

[Harold]

Before 3:57 PM I came downstairs after I, a Christian Universalist, took a shower, and my Christian Infernalist mother went downstairs saying something I think about some “devil woman”. This reminds me of what she said recently about there apparently being some “demons to cast out”. My mother was crying so I asked her what it is.



My Christian Universalist sister comes downstairs and I tell her that I think my mother said something about a “devil woman”. So, my sister and I tell our mother that it’s okay for her to talk to us and to communicate. But my mother refuses to elaborate. My sister says she assumes that she was called a “devil woman”. My mother is crying again.



My mother goes upstairs and my sister is sitting on the wooden brown stairs. I tell her of a time when my mother thought I said something, but I didn’t remember saying it. Is our mother hearing things? Hearing us call her names when we’re not. What voices does she hear? Is she hallucinating? Are these voices calling her a “devil woman?” What is this a result of? Religious trauma from the Christian Infernalist Iglesia Ni Cristo cult she grew up in?



“In this house there’s no respect anymore! I see no respect from this house” my mother shouts. My sister replies saying that she has to respect us. “That was maybe one day you were crying on the floor” my mother tells my sister. “It was enough for other people to notice so it was enough. … I don’t need to justify that to you” my sister replies, talking about the emotional abuse she suffered from her mother.



“Your father physically abused you” I say to my mother when she starts talking about the morals and values of her parents. “I’m not happy. I’m sad. That’s all.” my mother replies. We really want to help her, but it’s so hard when she doesn’t want to communicate.



“And it looks like you’re not grateful what you have become. That you guys have become. No!!” my mother shouts “Respect that’s what I need. Respect. Respect comes in different forms it shows in different ways.” My mother says, so my sister replies “I hug you all the time I tell you I love you I do well in school… that’s all you said you wanted”



My mother tells my sister “But deep inside your heart, I’m like the devil that lives in this house! In your heart. No matter how much you hug me. No matter how much you say you love me. In your heart, and you’re telling everyone. ‘Yeah my mom is like this and like that’” my mother says to my sister, because my sister also talks to others about her mother’s emotional abuse towards her. I’m crying right now typing this part. I truly wish my mother can understand the unconditional love that God, Jesus, has for everyone. His love that saves all.



“You’re old enough. We were kids! Children only know what they’re taught. You know when I was the angriest at most, at home. The only person that made me angry is you!” my sister tells my mother. “You’re not supposed to say anything outside to anybody that my mother is like this and like that” my mother replies.



“That’s how children work mama. That’s how children work. Yes I do. Your old enough to know better, we were kids! You were old enough. All those times where you had issues!” my sister tells mama. So, mama tells my sister “I was surprised when you become like this. I just don’t want people like not I don’t want like you’re telling people your mother’s this my mother’s that and you call me names.”



“I don’t call you names. I say my experiences. Because you did those things. If someone started beating me, am I not supposed to tell anybody?! No child deserves to be beaten!” my sister says to mama. “I wasn’t beaten! That was just discipline” my mother replies in reference to the physical abuse she got from her father, which I am against. Is this why my mother wanted to physically abuse her daughter!? Because she cannot recognize the physically abusive acts committed on her as abuse!?



“I’m so sorry but you can’t blame me either” my sister says, so mama says “Let’s wait for that future” so my sister replies “Yes whatever you say”.



“You were a sweet little child before. You were sweet before. And then you met your friends. I miss those days. And I thought you will continue to do that. I thought that you will continue to be that person. I’m so discouraged, so discouraging.” mama tells her. My commentary here is that my sister is an incredibly kind and caring person, I affirm that, and I commend her bravery to continue to love our mother despite the abuse she was put through.



“Don’t call me names guys. Don’t describe me as an evil person” mama says, but like my sister said, we’re literally just describing our experiences. Mama continues saying “Every single day I pray. Do you?? Do you ever pray??? When there’s a problem do you ever ever pray???? I pray. Every minute of my life when I feel that, I do that every time. I don’t have to tell you this. I’m not supposed to brag this, this is not bragging. But God knows what is my heart. What kind of a mother I am. God knows that. Even when I’m tired from work, I pray. Do you guys ever? Or when you’re tired do you just close your eyes? And then you guys telling me you’re the best people in this world??? Oh please!!! I want you guys to pray. There’s something missing here. Your prayers. Not just mine. Your prayers. Don’t get. Not because you’re tired have time. … To pray.” Obviously, my sister and I pray and neither of us claim to be the best. But I ask for your prayers, my friends, to help my mother get through whatever psychological issues she’s been suffering from for years.

```1 Timothy 2:8 NRSVue I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument, ```

 

[Harold]

This morning, Nov 5 2023 before 1:42 PM, I sent an email to the local church my mother, father, sister and I attend so I can join my sister in the Christmas Choir. To some, it might just be an email, but I keep thinking about it and it makes me feel anxious. The two songs for this choir performance are: Lo, how a Rose e'er blooming (Praetorius)

Es ist ein Ros entsprungen - Wikipedia

and O Radiant Dawn by James MacMillan

I sung in choir in high school. I remember I really wanted to do the higher pitch range, but because apparently they said that I am male, that they wanted me to do the lower pitch parts, Alto or Tenor. What, is that apparently the role that “men” are supposed to take? If I was assigned female at birth, I don’t think they would have question me wanting to sing that higher pitch range like this. Maybe I could have sung in a higher pitch range in choir back then…

Even years later today, I would have liked to do counter-tenor for this choir, but I’m already preparing myself for them to say like “Oh we see you as a male so you have to do these lower parts”. I have not seen a reply from them yet, so I don’t know what they will say. I feel worried.



Look I do love singing… in a higher pitch range, for me that’s where I’m more comfortable, natural and what even my mom has said that I sound way better at. That wasn’t just a phase I had as a kid, or puberty. I’ve sung like this for years! The problem here is that, I quite literally sing much better with a high pitch than a lower pitch. I personally don’t even like really low pitch singing and I suck at it. But because I was assigned male at birth, what, am I now just stuck singing in a way I dislike for the rest of my life? Because of what!? Some random rules created by society!? Why put a limit on how we worship God!?

In this world, apparently what range of voice a person quote-on-quote “should” sing at is dictated by something as random as what gender a person is assigned at birth, AMAB for me, AFAB for my sister. So, if I must, I will take on the role of tenor so I can be there for my sister, just like how I take on the role of “he/him”, of “brother”. God saves all people, whether they want to sing soprano, alto, tenor or bass, only belief in Christ is necessary. And all people will sing praises to the Lord of His Universal Salvation.



```1 Chronicles 16:23 NRSVue Sing to the Lord, all the earth. Tell of his salvation from day to day. ```

 

[Harold]

Today Nov 6th Monday 2023 I got an email from my former Dr. boss, the one I talked about My Little Pony with. He said he’s scheduled a meeting about grad school to me with a literal Dean of one of Canada’s top ranking research-intensive University. Brony power I guess.



For some people this may sound like “good news”, but for me it’s a hassle. Like… I get that he liked the research work I did for him, saying my research but I’ve told him about my family situation, the difficulties that exist if I were to even go to grad school.



My lore’s already super complicated as is, but let me try to explain this incredibly complex situation.



Alright. So, way it works, my former Dr. boss is trying to get my 2 other reference letters from his Dr. colleagues. 3 in total. Problem is, one of them dislikes the University of Manitoba’s grad school program (located in the city where I’m in). So, I’m not sure if they’d be willing to give me a letter for it.



Further, my former Dr. boss wants me to apply for grad schools all over Canada, saying it’ll increase my chances of getting in. He probably wants me to apply at this top ranking one with this Dean, since that’s where he studied.



The difficulty is that’ll mean I have to leave my sister, who is a Universalist, to be alone with my Infernalist mother and Infernalist father. Now my father, he’s not really involved in the family. A time he just ended up rehashing what my mother said. So, if I leave, what would he do to protect his daughter, what has he done now? Will he just rehash what my mother has said again? Like, how can I, in good conscience, even be able to focus on my studies away from here if my sister’s going to be getting abused by my mother at the same time.



Before me are two paths. On one, maybe I could become a Ph.D myself. I could be rich, famous, popular, academically intelligent, respected among the elite, but on the other is the wellbeing of my sister. How can I sacrifice her safety, just for what, my own pursuits? I don’t know how I would be able to live with that guilt. I still feel regret when I think of the time I tried to run away before by myself. I can’t just abandon her! No matter the wealth, social status or power I could achieve.



I still remember that time when she told me, that she wanted to be away from our mother… the time where she said she wanted to live with me. If I could afford my own house, I’d gladly let her stay their rent free and take care of the house for her. But how would I be able to with the debt of a master’s program, of a doctorate, weighing down on me? Because I’d certainly have to take out a loan. And for the sake of my younger self, who cried and dreamed of being able to escape from the abuse his mother gave him, I would like to avoid unnecessary delays if possible.



I’ve analyzed so many different scenarios, thinking of some way where both can exist, but I just can’t see it. I’ve thought about this for months, and there’s many more factors in this that I haven’t even mentioned here.



So 10:27 PM today I sent the email telling the Dean about my availability.



And 10:28 PM today I tried to recall the email. My mother and I panicked because all that time we spent reviewing the email, neither of us caught that we spelled his name wrong! We forgot a letter at the end. So, there I was quickly searching online how to unsend a message on Outlook. From the BCC, it has now also sent the message [my email] would like to recall the message, "Grad School Chat". Auggghhhh. And the recall report reads “Messages to recipients outside your organization or on-premises can't be recalled” since I was using my former work email for this. What will I say to this Dean, who has over 50 academic publications in his name?



And then later, there is another incident started by my mother. “I’m confused what you’re going on about mama. I don’t like what you’re saying… what caused this… what are you so concerned about.” my sister tells my mother. “That’s why I don’t want to start it” my mother replies, to which my sister says “It came from something. No what. You don’t want to say it but now I know anyways. So at least be honest.”



So, I add in my commentary calling out my mother for making my sister tired. “You cannot see that because you guys are not my parents. When you’ve become a parent and when you’ve matured, then you’ll know what I’m talking about”. The flaw with that logic is like saying how the only people who are allowed to criticize the police are police officers, or the only ones allowed to condemn military groups are those in the military. Another manipulation tactic, an excuse, for her to avoid listening to our advice.



“I’m tired. Let me be tired. Allow me to be tired. Yeah and you’re making me feel like it’s wrong. …You’re making it feeling like it’s wrong” my sister says and I agree. “You have to pinpoint where it’s coming from, what’s causing it” I tell my mother that it’s her comments that are making my sister tired.



“I’m sorry you don’t have people you talk to” my sister says. “What!” my mother replies, so my sister tells her. “I’m sorry you don’t have people you talk to. Please let me live mama… then drop it, then drop it. Let me be tired.”



This incident further reinforces my viewpoint that I cannot go to grad school. But one viewpoint that I still have though is the universal salvation of all creation, for all to become believers in Christ and be reconciled with God. No matter how complicated things may get in life, whether that be from school or work, I believe that there is a happy ending for all of us. Rest, for all who are tired.



```Matthew 11:28 NRSVue Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ```



My mother is the sort of person who will make you feel tired and then complain that you look tired. I’m tired because of her. To you my mother, who has taken away my potential, I forgive you and I love you.

 

[Harold]

Today Nov 7th 2023 Tuesday around 12:20 PM I was talking with a Ph.D researcher and she told me that small informal groups exert the greatest social influence on our individual concept of the self.



Source: Eugenia C. Wu, Sarah G. Moore, and Gavan J. Fitzsimons, "Wine for the Table: Self-Construal, Group Size, and Choice for Self and Others," Journal of Consumer Research, vol. 6, no.3, (December 2018), Wine for the Table: Self-Construal, Group Size, and Choice for Self and Others



Yes, it’s our friends, not necessarily our family members, that shape the social knowledge structures we rely on for our beliefs and values the most. We can certainly be friends with our relatives, but who our siblings are, our parents, is purely an external force, we don’t choose what family we’re born into.



Any “formal” group has an external force. If your co-worker tried to influence you to believe in a certain theological viewpoint, like Christian Universalism, where all shall have faith alone in Christ and thus all shall be saved, it would be less influential than a friend you chose to hang out with influencing you, because it’s the external force of your workplace that keeps you together.



When you’re someone’s friend, you’re their friend because you want to be their friend. That internal force from your self is what makes it “informal”. You don’t talk with them because a workplace meeting or family gathering forces you to, but because you genuinely enjoy their company! The reason my sister cried tears of joy when I showed her the Gospel of Universal Reconciliation, why she was influenced, was not because I was her brother, but because I was her friend.



Influence is thus like a glue that holds group together. In a friend group of 3, your opinions hold 33.333…% influential power as opposed to only 10% with a group of 10.



So, if you truly want to convince someone that Christian Universalism is true, as posited by the psychological framework posited by this Ph.D researcher I spoke with, the most optimal way would be through a smaller informal group setting, such as personally talking to people as friends on Discord, rather than forcing them to believe through the use of external power by some organization. This goes for, really, any theological concept. And even beyond that, any idea you want people to believe in. This is the power of friendship, I guess… or more accurately the power of love, which is the strongest influencer.



The American Heritage Dictionary entry: friend

Frēond, the Old English source of Modern English friend, is related to the Old English verb frēon, "to love,



```1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NRSVue If I speak in the tongues of humans and of angels but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions and if I hand over my body so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. ```



So, remember. You may have the greatest academic and scholarly knowledge in the world. You may hold the answers to some of the biggest mysteries in life. But if you have no love, who then will listen to you?

 

[Harold]

Today Nov 8 Wed 2023 around 10;37 AM my Christian Universalist LGBT+ Affirming sister was talking with our Christian Infernalist mother who is homophobic, saying that our mother doesn't like my sister's friends because our mother has the perception that they are gay.



There's nothing inherently wrong with being gay. Not only does our mother have no right to judge people here, but also, does she even know who's gay or not? Does she even realize that I am gay? And that every time that she insults gay people she's really been insulting me, her son? Because people don't choose to be gay, they are born gay. There is no choice to sin, because there is no inherent choice and there is no inherent sin! Period.



Though I am an AMAB I had childhood crushes on men and women when I was around 12 years old while still in elementary school. I didn't even really understand what all these LGBTQIA+ terms meant back then. Only recently I learned of the "panromantic" term. So how could I have ever possibly chosen to have those crushes when I didn't even understand what being panromantic meant! Just like how straight people can naturally have crushes on the opposite gender, so too could panromantic people naturally have crushes on multiple genders.



How to Handle Your Child's First Crush

"Around the time they're able to attend elementary school, kids can experience their first crush. Some parents may feel blindsided by how early this can occur, but experts say it's perfectly normal. "



Kids and Crushes: How to Handle Them - TulsaKids Magazine

"How Not to Talk to Kids About Their Crush

I have watched counselors, principals, teachers and parents tell students to quit thinking about such things. Children are told that they are too young to have these feelings, and to focus on their schoolwork instead. This always amazes me. Does anyone truly believe that telling children to stop having these thoughts and feelings will work? If someone told me to stop liking chocolate, it would have absolutely no effect on my love for chocolate. It might prevent me from talking to that person about my chocolate cravings, though. This is exactly what happens when parents tell their children to stop focusing on romance. Children will stop opening up about these feelings, but the feelings are still present.



Telling children to stop having these thoughts and feelings is not only ineffective, but it may have some other adverse consequences. Think about the messages these children are receiving from adults. Children may begin to wonder whether it’s abnormal to experience a crush. They could potentially believe that something is inherently wrong with them. These self-doubts could lead to a lack of self-confidence and a lowered self-esteem. Adults will not be successful in shutting down amorous thoughts and feelings. In my opinion, they will only be successful at shutting themselves out of this part of the child’s life."



Homophobes may have imagined that last part as straight childhood crushes , but what about gay childhood crushes? Those are also perfectly normal. Don't you see the damage you parents cause shutting down something just because it's gay, by making gay people feel like there's something inherently wrong with them when there isn't!? By the way, I only cited these articles now at the time of typing this. So it's nice to have my gay feelings as a child personally validated as being perfectly normal.



So my mother's homophobia might be the reason why she wants to ban my sister from all sleepovers, because as my mother has described, she's afraid of lesbians. My mother has said that there was a lesbian that loved her in the past. God loves all who are queer and God loves that they are queer. All members of the LGBTQIA+ community shall believe in Christ and thus all shall be permanently saved.



```Romans 5:5 NRSVue and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. ```

 

[Harold]

Today Nov 9 2023 Thursday from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM there was a planned power outage. So, my mother and I, we usually work from home, went around and unplugged a bunch of the electronics. After a while, we ended up having a long conversation with each other. We were both on the basement's wooden stairs, her on the upper seat with me on the lower.



She tells me that the "root of her madness" (her words) is her desire to achieve success, saying that my sister and I should have an obsession for success. My infernalist mother says life is a game, and compares herself to my Dr. Boss who is trying to convince me to pursue a Ph.D even though it would mean abandoning my sister. She says the work term they hired me for was most likely an investment and now, if they get me to enroll in grad school, they will get the return on their investment. My mother calls this fate and I believe that me getting that job was a predetermined event. Because that Dr. Boss literally just walked up to me and said that he wanted me to work as a researcher for him, I just got lucky that he randomly chose me.



My mother tells me that life is a game, that life is a competition and that people are like companies, they want to be on top. She speaks to me of her desires for us to have social status and fame saying that when we achieve success then she will be happy. That last line stood out to me.



God has unconditional love for us and cares for all of His creation. That fact alone is enough to convince me that Christian Universalism must be true. God cares enough for us to be patient until we are all believers in Him, Christ.



1 John 4:16 NRSVue And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.



I love my mother and so does my sister, and I see our mother as having love for us. But the severe trauma she experienced being physically abused by her father in the past gets in the way of that. Is my mother only happy for us whenever we meet her arbitrary definition of success? I hope she understands the unconditional love that God the Father has for her, which exists regardless of one's own success. I've tried chasing what she randomly classifies as success for years. And what have I gotten from it? Trauma, from her emotiona abuse. And how long will I have to keep chasing that success in order to please her? My whole life? She says that if we become failures then it will make her look like a failure, so it seems like she may only view us as extensions of herself.



At least my mother says that it's fine to be on my chats, as she calls it, I assume she means the Christian Universalists Discord Server. Though her reasoning being that I don't have much friends in real life and that it's mostly online. I mean... IRL I mostly just talk to my mom, sister and sometimes my dad. But beyond that, eh, idk it's not much. So, I'm grateful to have met you my friends. God bless.

 

[Harold]

More anger from my mother, Nov 7th 2023 before 9:46 PM. But this time, she tells me stories from her past living in Metro Manila in the Philippines. When she was 7 years old, she fell into a manhole without a cover, but luckily her sister caught her. She says that’s where she got a phobia. So, she went through multiple floods. She would walk through black dirty water going to the University, and since she couldn’t see the ground, she would use her foot to feel her way through because she was scared of falling into another man hole again.

``` Psalm 93:3-4 The floods have lifted up, O Lord, the floods have lifted up their voice; the floods lift up their roaring. More majestic than the thunders of mighty waters, more majestic than the waves of the sea, majestic on high is the Lord! ```

My mother also says it can be scary to rent an apartment because her dad in the Philippines had a key that let him access all the apartment rooms. There was a smell coming from one of the rooms and they discovered a dead body that had been there for a while. So, I understand where my mother’s anger comes from, from the fear she felt in her youth. She did what she could to survive in those horrible conditions and I wonder if her mind ever left that survival mindset. We are products of our environment after all, so I don’t fault someone whether they believe in Christ before they die or after. It’s up to God when He gives someone that faith, the timing’s on Him. So, I’m confident that the Lord will give that belief, that permanent salvation to everyone eventually.

 

[Harold]

Around 12:12 PM Nov 9 2023 Thursday, there was a Ph.D researcher speaking of the following psychological concepts, so I’ve framed it to relate to Christian Universalism, the concept that all shall believe in Christ and that all shall be permanently saved.



From the perspective of -> a Christian Universalist, there are 3 psychological groups

Aspirational Group = Who you want to be -> a more knowledgeable Christan Universalist

Membership Group = Who you are -> a Christian Universalist

Dissasociative Group = Who you don’t want to be -> a Christian Infernalist



Social Power = Your capacity to alter other people’s actions.



A social power does not exist without a reference group. A reference group does not exist without a social power. Social Power is an umbrella term that for different types of powers.



Referent Power = An Aspirational group’s power -> we want to be more knowledgeable Christian Universalists

Ex: Imagine you hear an opinion from someone you know is a Christian Infernalist, an Aspirational Group, and you don’t believe it because they are a Christian Infernalist, your Dissasociative Group. Now imagine you hear this same opinion again from a more knowledgeable Christian Universalist. Would you now be more likely to believe this opinion to be true, just because the source of the information has changed, though the information itself has remained the same?



Expert Power = An actual expert’s power -> a Christian Universalist expert

Ex: If a random person online were to say an opinion, you may be less likely to believe it. But if they source the Christian Universalist theologian David Bentley Hart (DBH)’s opinion on the matter, would you be more inclined to believe them purely on the appeal to this expert power?



Based on this, I personally don’t think that anybody really chooses what they believe in. Rather, we are all subject to social power from each other. Since conformity is defined as a change in beliefs or actions as a relation to a real or imagined group pressure, then we all, to a certain extent conform to powers. The Legitimate Power of government laws, the Information Power of sources we perceive as being more truthful or accurate than others, the Reward Power of having a person compliment you online for sharing their beliefs, the Coercive Power of being haunted by a message you sent because you are worried it could be perceived as controversial or may be misunderstood, so you keep going back to edit and rephrase it, or elaborate further on it.



Cognitively we may be aware of these mental shortcuts, these heuristics, we apply to our discussions, but subconsciously we are all controlled by our psychology, none of us are free from it. I did not “choose” this topic to be today’s daily Christian Universalist quote, but rather, it was because of the previous event that I experienced, that social power, that influenced me to now create this event. And who created all of these powers? Is it not God? Therefore, I believe God will use each of these powers at His disposal to guarantee the universal salvation of all creation.



```Ephesians 3:20-21 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. ```

 

[Harold]

Today Sunday Nov 12 2023 while attending online church with my mother and sister they were playing a video from another church, so we’ve got videos in our videos here. They talked about “social power” which is interesting timing because I was just talking about it in my previous Daily Quote.



It reminds me of a meme that my sister sent to me on Instagram recently (we’ve been using this chat since our mother has been reading our text messages) where it says “Abusers be like: How dare you ruin my reputation by telling people things I did and I said” which accurately describes our mother.



``` 2 Timothy 1:7 NRSVue for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. ```



So we see that with the spirit of power δυνάμεως (dynameōs) Strong's 1411, there’s 1) Love and 2) Self Discipline



“Agape” is used to describe this love here, the same love that God has for the whole world John 3:16.



2) If our mother wants to preserve her social reputation, then there’s the aspect of self-discipline on her end to stop her abuse.



1) But for my sister and I, it’s also important that we still love our mother, which we do. This is different from cowardice, which would be completely allowing our mother to get away with doing these things without doing anything to tell her what she’s doing is wrong. Both of us are against her wrongdoings, that’s 1) discipline, but then there’s forgiveness, which is 2) love.



Will our mother abuse us forever? Certainly not. So why should the discipline last forever as well? What remains constant and unconditional, no matter what we do, is the Agape Love that God has for everyone, it’s unchanging. So once the discipline is over, and there’s only love, then is there not reconciliation? A universal reconciliation where all shall believe in Christ to be permanently saved.

 

[Harold]

I was in my room downstairs today Monday Aug 13 2023 in my bed in my room and I heard my mother shouting. I was asleep, but looks like this is how I start the day.



"Stop assuming and stop getting mad. You read through my messages on my phone. You logged into my damn account. I was literally crying. my sister tells my mother. "I'm telling the truth " my sister says three times and I agree with her.





"Stop trying to control me. I'm not an extension of your body. Stop trying to change me into a different person. Don't try to change me mama. You can give me advice. Protecting me how? It's not dangerous, what's wrong. They're literally just me friends. But you think they're trying to human trafficking me. ... I have the right to say that I feel unsafe. I want to put a lock on my door. I don't feel safe. “ my sister says to my mother, who we call “mama”.



[Square bracket indicates me editing out my real name and putting my online name]



My sister tells my mother “Stop doing that to [JSA] too. He's 22. You had your chance. You still messed i tup. For some reason you also cant understand how to be nice. I'm just angry and fed up” and my sister has the right to be angry considering the abuse my mother put her through.



My mother makes a homophobic remark saying "Hear me. These are homosexuals. So of course, they're jealous.... These are weird things that can happen to anyone. I'm just warning you". I am against my mother here, homosexuality is not wrong, I say this as a person who is gay.



"Stop looking through my phone. Especially when you look through my phone that’s so messed up. Why are you looking through my phone. You can't take it back. Soryy about what? You can't say everything” my sister tells my mother, so my mother replies “I’m sorry for looking through your phone."



"Do you know many times I’ve sat as a child seeing you yell at papa. You’re the one who gets mad. You’re the one who taught me how to get mad. You can't use that as an excuse. You thought you could look through it without my permission. You say I don't have common sense look at yourself. I can't accept the apology if you don't understand why its wrong. I wish you had basic logic sometimes.

I remember before when [JSA] was going to call CPS” my sister tells my mother. For me, it’s shocking how, despite me about to call CPS, though I didn’t, that that incident still did not change my mother’s behavior and she still acts in this emotionally abusive way. And “Papa” is the name we call our father.



It’s as my sister elaborates “The fact that it got to the point where that [calling CPS] was about to happen and yet you still act like this”.



“Ok reconciliation” my mother says. My sister and I believe in Universal Reconciliation eventually, so it’s interesting that my mother, who is an infernalist, would use this term.



My mother tries to shush my sister. My sister tells her “How many times does this have to keep repeating. I want you to understand. I can't accept an apology for all the things that you've done." As I’ve said before, history repeats itself.



My sister tells my mother “On my birthday I told you to stop looking through my notifications. Its the fact you overheard something I said to [friend name] and you immediately got mad. You look at things without my permission. What you're doing is making me more mad. I told you how I didn’t like you looking though my phone. Suddenly I hear you yelling from upstairs. … I started crying because I’m so tired.” And I agree with my sister that my mother does not have the right to look through my sister’s phone without her permission. It’s like my mother’s going out of her way to find more fuel, more material, to get angry about. Also, this was the birthday that my mother ruined when my sister turned 18 years old and stopped being a minor. So, while the CPS route may not work anymore, hopefully there will be other options available






My mother then says "You're a nobody. Ruin your reputation now since no one knew you. Ruin your life. Because of hanging out with wrong friends. This is what you get. Doesn’t inspire you to be somebody. I want you to hang out with friends that can inspire you. That you're not talented. You were not confident. That’s why I don't want you to hang out with people without confidence. This is what you have become. You're shy. You don't want to see what you were before. How you’ve become like this. You don't want that. So, what's next? You ruin your reputation! They're ways! Influence you to be shy. To be afraid of showing what you are and who you are. To be successful.” The time is around 12:37 PM, so my sister asks me "Why is mama still talking?".



My sister says she was crying before doing her singing videos because she was forced to record them. This is shocking to me so I got my mothers phone and used it to pass the 2-factor authentication and unlisted the videos that has my sister in it. Since my sister told me to do this. And she has the right to have this, because those videos were of her when she was a child, where was her permission in the filming of these videos?



Then my mother comes downstairs. "Can't you see that she's been suffering enough!" I tell my mother. Motioning to my sister who was covering her ears and humming a long note to herself so she doesn't have to listen to my sister.

"You yelled at me for half an hour. You don't care about how I feel." my sister tells her.



Then it looks like my mother makes an infernalist threat towards us, saying "You will regret everything you've done to me. You will cry forever! You will be crying”



My mother thinks that we will be happy if she disappears so I tell her that it's about the bad parts, the abusive parts of her, that we want to disappear, but there's still parts of her that are worth saving. I forgive her and I still love her. Everyone will eventually believe in Christ and everyone will thus be permanently saved. No one will cry forever.


```Revelation 21:4 NRSVue he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.” ```

 

[Harold]

"I'll be following you." my mother says to my sister, referring to the ticket that I bought for my sister to go to a cat cafe. My mother also followed me in the past to my workplace without my permission. I am against my mother’s behavior.



This was yesterday Nov 13 2023 Tuesday night. I texted my sister on Instagram a link to join the Christian Universalists Discord server and she replied back asking me to buy her a ticket online.



My Christian Infernalist mother tried asking for details, but I would avoid answering her question. My card got declined, so I called the bank. I think my mom heard this phone call, because she showed me on her phone's Yahoo email account the ticket receipts that were sent to my sister's Gmail. Automatic email forwarding was turned on, so I removed it and texted my sister again on Instagram. That was earlier in the day.



Then after I returned home from a physical meeting, my sister was telling my mother something like this "You better be in a better mood. I'm not going to give in. ... You shouldn't teach me to tell someone to force them. You shouldn't teach me to give in when someone yells. I'm not going to respond if all you're going to do is yell at me and force me". I refuse to worship a god that tortures anyone forever. Therefore, for God to be a God truly worth worshipping, then He must eventually reconcile Himself with all of His creation. Because either all of creation ought to be there to worship Him together, or none at all. Thus all shall have faith alone in Christ and be permanently saved.



```Psalm 100:1-2 NRSVue Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; come into his presence with singing. ```



Later my mother says "Disobedient and unrespectful. Very unrespectful. Doesn't even show gratitude for what I've done, for you." I come upstairs because my mother is harassing my sister once again and I tell my mother to stop and then she starts insulting me. I’m used to this though. At least the time she spends insulting me is less time she spends insulting my sister.

 

[Mr E]

"I'll be following you." my mother says to my sister, referring to the ticket that I bought for my sister to go to a cat cafe. My mother also followed me in the past to my workplace without my permission. I am against my mother’s behavior.



This was yesterday Nov 13 2023 Tuesday night. I texted my sister on Instagram a link to join the Christian Universalists Discord server and she replied back asking me to buy her a ticket online.



My Christian Infernalist mother tried asking for details, but I would avoid answering her question. My card got declined, so I called the bank. I think my mom heard this phone call, because she showed me on her phone's Yahoo email account the ticket receipts that were sent to my sister's Gmail. Automatic email forwarding was turned on, so I removed it and texted my sister again on Instagram. That was earlier in the day.



Then after I returned home from a physical meeting, my sister was telling my mother something like this "You better be in a better mood. I'm not going to give in. ... You shouldn't teach me to tell someone to force them. You shouldn't teach me to give in when someone yells. I'm not going to respond if all you're going to do is yell at me and force me". I refuse to worship a god that tortures anyone forever. Therefore, for God to be a God truly worth worshipping, then He must eventually reconcile Himself with all of His creation. Because either all of creation ought to be there to worship Him together, or none at all. Thus all shall have faith alone in Christ and be permanently saved.



```Psalm 100:1-2 NRSVue Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; come into his presence with singing. ```



Later my mother says "Disobedient and unrespectful. Very unrespectful. Doesn't even show gratitude for what I've done, for you." I come upstairs because my mother is harassing my sister once again and I tell my mother to stop and then she starts insulting me. I’m used to this though. At least the time she spends insulting me is less time she spends insulting my sister.

Harold? How old are you?

 

[Jack]

I strongly suspect that those who believe everyone will go to Heaven are heading for Hell fire.