Faith or sin

[bbyrd009]

Ah...these are the things I am hoping the fellowship I am joining next week can help me with.

I hear something from God. I'm pretty sure it's from God. I don't immediately do it or share it. I regret not having immediately done or said what I should have. Then I determine I will, and I do, or try to. But I think...since I didn't move with God immediately, it just comes out all wrong. And the reasons I didn't move immediately are, if I'm as honest as I can try to be, mostly fear of what people will think of me. And the end result of not moving immediately with God is...the thing I feared (to be thought insane) is the thing that happens in the end!!

How strange is THAT?!

ha ya you have to become completely oblivious to others looks or you will get self conscious. You should be doing what you are doing with your whole whatever anyway right, whatever your hand finds to do...
but speaking is diff i guess? "Bible studies" can easily get diverted with other concepts, so if your comment there is not still pertinent in five minutes i'd guess that's going on?

By saying I hope this is one of the things a fellowship will help me with, I don't mean I want to TALK about it. I have an inkling that probably isn't how a true fellowship will work, but I'm not completely certain because I've only ever been to one and it was a disaster with a capital D!

ha I just spent five minutes tiptoeing around that lol, ya. Bible studies are not for serious imo, they are great for observing though. Interesting watching who...converts everything to their perspective, who has a more open perspective, etc

But as I was getting ready to leave the house it occurred to me that what I said here might scare someone and I should better explain my thought. :)

By saying I hope this is one of the things a fellowship will help me with, I don't mean I want to TALK about it. I have an inkling that probably isn't how a true fellowship will work, but I'm not completely certain because I've only ever been to one and it was a disaster with a capital D!

So when I say I hope a fellowship will help me in this, I mean that the very fact of BEING in a fellowship and seeing and experiencing the anatomy of how the body moves together with the Spirit, will, I hope, just make it clear to me.[/QUOTE]
you get to choose the group that you identify with; doesn't have to be anyone else's def of Church eh
really surely better examples--as you have already noted--if you seek a definition more suited to you i guess.

 

[bbyrd009]

So, going by experiences can be kind of a PTSD with me, lol.

Well you are having a better experience at the second um church right:)

It's a good thing I am very open to learning Gods Truth :) ♥

ha sure wish i could say that

 

[bbyrd009]

Ah...these are the things I am hoping the fellowship I am joining next week can help me with.

I hear something from God. I'm pretty sure it's from God. I don't immediately do it or share it. I regret not having immediately done or said what I should have. Then I determine I will, and I do, or try to. But I think...since I didn't move with God immediately, it just comes out all wrong. And the reasons I didn't move immediately are, if I'm as honest as I can try to be, mostly fear of what people will think of me. And the end result of not moving immediately with God is...the thing I feared (to be thought insane) is the thing that happens in the end!!

How strange is THAT?!

[/QUOTE]never hurts to see if you get prompted again with the same thing i guess. Might even be preferable sometimes

 

[Nancy]

Well you are having a better experience at the second um church right:)

ha sure wish i could say that

The atmosphere is much warmer and I have watched the Pastor online for over 10 years, regardless if I was actually attending another cong. or none at all. Love his teachings but it is fellowship I truly seek and, since 5 months of the time I have been back to my new (old) Church were NOT good months, and...I've only been back there since end of Aug. last year...have not made many new friends BUT...the folks are really friendly and I know 3-4 people there AND, my younger sister goes with me, so It's all good. Thanks fer askin Mark. ♥

"ha sure wish i could say that"
Why cantya?

 

[bbyrd009]

The atmosphere is much warmer and I have watched the Pastor online for over 10 years, regardless if I was actually attending another cong. or none at all. Love his teachings but it is fellowship I truly seek and, since 5 months of the time I have been back to my new (old) Church were NOT good months, and...I've only been back there since end of Aug. last year...have not made many new friends BUT...the folks are really friendly and I know 3-4 people there AND, my younger sister goes with me, so It's all good. Thanks fer askin Mark. ♥

"ha sure wish i could say that"
Why cantya?

A safari in any other direction that the bones happen to roll might not be the worst idea? personally i would say to the air 'i need the right bunch' or whatever and head out. Walking. Maybe even maybe even do three, walk, bike, car and do a little comparo. The car one might imply a more self-directed choice, right, and you like leave the other two to God kinda? Doesn't have to be solday? Do you feel like paying attention and being spiritually fed on Sunday morning? If so, great, but if not why not tues aft right
then it can be whenever you head out :)
in fact you can get more lesson than you bargain for i guess, when you head out for spiritual lessons lol

 

[stunnedbygrace]

The only problem I have with this is that, I cannot place my personal experiences with this awesome journey over Scriptural truth. It took me a very long time to really believe what HE say's about me, not what my experiences say. And, as everybody's experiences and relationship with God is different, He has brought me to a rest in all of this. I thought for a very long time that God and being saved was a "feeling" and, when I saw that I did not respond as some others were...I felt very UN-saved. After a bit over a year, I left the Church (1st Protestant Church I attended) and, realized the people there were running on their emotions and feelings rather than Gods Truth. When I started attending an Assemblies of God Church, the difference was like night and day...it was a breath of very fresh air and, we all praised and worshiped in truth and spirit, there was no confusion, like the 1st Church had. So, going by experiences can be kind of a PTSD with me, lol. It's a good thing I am very open to learning Gods Truth :) ♥

Yeah, I'm not saying experience over scripture exactly. I'm saying...God doesn't just give me scripture. He does let me experience Him too. For instance, when I read about the Holy Spirit, I was reading it, but...I had no comparison so I wasn't understanding what I read. But when I received the Spirit a short time later, I was able to say, oh! This is the true Baptism!

But I also do understand going wrong with feelings. When I was younger, I would physically feel the Spirit, like waves washing over me and the hair would stand stand up on my arms and neck. You don't even want to hear about the train wreck I had concerning that! The Spirit but without any maturity yet can be dangerous. I mean, there are dangers in our maturing. Little kids and roads and cars, little kids and poisonous cleaning supplies., etc.

 

[Nancy]

A safari in any other direction that the bones happen to roll might not be the worst idea? personally i would say to the air 'i need the right bunch' or whatever and head out. Walking. Maybe even maybe even do three, walk, bike, car and do a little comparo. The car one might imply a more self-directed choice, right, and you like leave the other two to God kinda? Doesn't have to be solday? Do you feel like paying attention and being spiritually fed on Sunday morning? If so, great, but if not why not tues aft right
then it can be whenever you head out :)
in fact you can get more lesson than you bargain for i guess, when you head out for spiritual lessons lol

Well, if you spend over two years, at a local Church body DESPITE the doctrines I disagreed with and DESPITE the fact I was not clicking with anybody there, you can be SURE I did not leave lightly. There was a whole lot of prayer involved there. As far as being fed the word, I eat that EVERYDAY :) don't have to go anywhere at all if I want to be selfish about it all. Is it a bad thing to feel as if one belongs or not? Ever think that maybe God want's to possibly use me at this new body? He uses me everyday in several senses.
"in fact you can get more lesson than you bargain for i guess, when you head out for spiritual lessons lol"
Yeah, quite true. I do have my favorite teachers for different reasons and I don't think that I agree with every single thing they say but...don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater? :)

 

[Nancy]

Yeah, I'm not saying experience over scripture exactly. I'm saying...God doesn't just give me scripture. He does let me experience Him too. For instance, when I read about the Holy Spirit, I was reading it, but...I had no comparison so I wasn't understanding what I read. But when I received the Spirit a short time later, I was able to say, oh! This is the true Baptism!

But I also do understand going wrong with feelings. When I was younger, I would physically feel the Spirit, like waves washing over me and the hair would stand stand up on my arms and neck. You don't even want to hear about the train wreck I had concerning that! The Spirit but without any maturity yet can be dangerous. I mean, there are dangers in our maturing. Little kids and roads and cars, little kids and poisonous cleaning supplies., etc.

I wish I would have an experience like that but, never have

 

[bbyrd009]

Well, if you spend over two years, at a local Church body DESPITE the doctrines I disagreed with and DESPITE the fact I was not clicking with anybody there, you can be SURE I did not leave lightly. There was a whole lot of prayer involved there. As far as being fed the word, I eat that EVERYDAY :) don't have to go anywhere at all if I want to be selfish about it all. Is it a bad thing to feel as if one belongs or not? Ever think that maybe God want's to possibly use me at this new body? He uses me everyday in several senses.
"in fact you can get more lesson than you bargain for i guess, when you head out for spiritual lessons lol"
Yeah, quite true. I do have my favorite teachers for different reasons and I don't think that I agree with every single thing they say but...don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater? :)

oh ya imo you get to define who "we" is ok, but, um...there is a difference in attending a congregation in service to them, giving back so to speak, which is way cool, and being where you are spiritually fed. Sometimes. Maybe. A spiritually uplifting outlet that appeals only to you maybe can be an interesting avenue for self examination, or even a um fruitful vocation. Again be prepared for weird looks lol. I do weird stuff that gets me "insane" looks that pay dividends later Bc idc what other ppl think; i have no garbage

 

[bbyrd009]

I wish I would have an experience like that but, never have

some ppl are just more emotional than others, feel it more emotionally imo
I dunno though go catch the gospel hour at Vallejo Baptist yikes lol
pretty much guarantee you'll get goosebumps
the message was a nice denoument

 

[bbyrd009]

I do have my favorite teachers for different reasons and I don't think that I agree with every single thi

everybody gets to touch a piece of the elephant i think :)

 

[stunnedbygrace]

I wish I would have an experience like that but, never have

I have an inkling that you may soon. In fact, I have a low level hum of sorts that a question you asked just a few days ago may begin something that we will not be able to take it all in! ;)

 

[Nancy]

I have an inkling that you may soon. In fact, I have a low level hum of sorts that a question you asked just a few days ago may begin something that we will not be able to take it all in! ;)

Oh boy...be sure I will be prayed up before Tuesday morning! Can't wait ♥ Wish I knew what question it was??? :)

 

[bbyrd009]

Well, if you spend over two years, at a local Church body DESPITE the doctrines I disagreed with and DESPITE the fact I was not clicking with anybody there, you can be SURE I did not leave lightly.

two years of that yikes

 

[Nancy]

two years of that yikes

Yes, I tend to be a glutton for punishment I suppose. Or just a very hard head?

 

[bbyrd009]

Yes, I tend to be a glutton for punishment I suppose. Or just a very hard head?

Ha lol. I'm minded of some war movie i saw as a kid, they're rescuing pows from some Vietnamese camp like years after the war has ended, and one of the pows doesn't want to leave he's been there so long and has a garden and speaks the language now and everything? Maybe someone will nudge us if that doesn't sound familiar.

So that could be going on, but also as you said earlier you might have been there for another reason anyway, so 2 years of that, the way you put it anyway, maybe sounds insane but might also be for a reason unknown to us? For someone else or even for you? Bc you'd be surprised how maybe some little coping mechanism you picked up there even might come in handy later, when it's really important, who knows

 

[Nancy]

Ha lol. I'm minded of some war movie i saw as a kid, they're rescuing pows from some Vietnamese camp like years after the war has ended, and one of the pows doesn't want to leave he's been there so long and has a garden and speaks the language now and everything? Maybe someone will nudge us if that doesn't sound familiar

It does sound very familiar but, way long ago - Uncommon Valor! Just found it, :)

 

[amadeus]

two years of that yikes

You were apparently born to be a skeptic my friend. That I would guess is for you a gift. What you could not stand for two years others have taken for different reasons, some likely bad and others quite good. For me the first non-Catholic church where I was home taught me a lot of things which I have written pages about in the past to explain them as I began to understand them.

However even while I was there in the first assembly [from 1976] and was reading the Bible for the first time in my life the pastor did a number of things which many would call unforgivable. One in particular started with a question from me to him. "Where do you get your authority as a pastor from?"

I was not questioning whether or not he had any authority, because I did not know at the time what authority he had although apparently he had some (or so I believed). I was interested in learning more about it and had asked him privately to explain what the basis for his authority was. I had only been in his congregation for a few weeks at the time. I expected and hoped to receive an answer from scripture. Instead, he, apparently not understanding what it was I wanted, didn't answer me at all and left the room. It was just about time for service to start so I went and rejoined my wife sitting in a pew in the sanctuary.

Shortly after the start of the service the pastor went to the podium and speaking before the entire congregation rebuked me saying that I had questioned his authority. I was completely stunned as was my wife for I had already explained to her what had occurred just few minutes earlier.

Still, I would have thought that the man had simply not understood me. That was not the case as I discovered. He didn't answer questions about doctrine period. He simply expected everyone to listen to him and to obey him and accept anything that he taught without question. I have never been a person easily angered and I did not get angry then, but I cannot say the same for my wife LOL.

I guess most people would have left immediately but we stayed for a several years. Why? My wife's anger was not enough to move me and I wanted to do the right thing. I was sure that I did not know what the right thing was. That was only the very first recalled strike against him [the pastor] and what followed was likely worse but we endured because it was something God wanted us to go through to understand what would happen later in our lives and particularly in our walk with God. Would Job have gone for it if God had told him beforehand what he was going to have to endure according to the Book of Job?

 

[Nancy]

You were apparently born to be a skeptic my friend. That I would guess is for you a gift. What you could not stand for two years others have taken for different reasons, some likely bad and others quite good. For me the first non-Catholic church where I was home taught me a lot of things which I have written pages about in the past to explain them as I began to understand them.

However even while I was there in the first assembly [from 1976] and was reading the Bible for the first time in my life the pastor did a number of things which many would call unforgivable. One in particular started with a question from me to him. "Where do you get your authority as a pastor from?"

I was not questioning whether or not he had any authority, because I did not know at the time what authority he had although apparently he had some (or so I believed). I was interested in learning more about it and had asked him privately to explain what the basis for his authority was. I had only been in his congregation for a few weeks at the time. I expected and hoped to receive an answer from scripture. Instead, he, apparently not understanding what it was I wanted, didn't answer me at all and left the room. It was just about time for service to start so I went and rejoined my wife sitting in a pew in the sanctuary.

Shortly after the start of the service the pastor went to the podium and speaking before the entire congregation rebuked me saying that I had questioned his authority. I was completely stunned as was my wife for I had already explained to her what had occurred just few minutes earlier.

Still, I would have thought that the man had simply not understood me. That was not the case as I discovered. He didn't answer questions about doctrine period. He simply expected everyone to listen to him and to obey him and accept anything that he taught without question. I have never been a person easily angered and I did not get angry then, but I cannot say the same for my wife LOL.

I guess most people would have left immediately but we stayed for a several years. Why? My wife's anger was not enough to move me and I wanted to do the right thing. I was sure that I did not know what the right thing was. That was only the very first recalled strike against him [the pastor] and what followed was likely worse but we endured because it was something God wanted us to go through to understand what would happen later in our lives and particularly in our walk with God. Would Job have gone for it if God had told him beforehand what he was going to have to endure according to the Book of Job?

Huh, you simply asked a very rational question, coming from someone with a Catholic background. Me tinx there was a tad bit of ego involved here? Kudo's to you for staying as long as you did. God wanted you both there for a reason. ♥

 

[amadeus]

Huh, you simply asked a very rational question, coming from someone with a Catholic background. Me tinx there was a tad bit of ego involved here? Kudo's to you for staying as long as you did. God wanted you both there for a reason. ♥

Oh there is no doubt about that. And now I pretty much know the whys but that is also no simple short story either...