Filled With The Holy Spirit - My Testimony

Discussion in 'Community Welcome Center' started by Rudi, May 9, 2010.

  1. Rudi

    Rudi New Member

    I was born into a bible believing family in then Rhodesia, I hated church and all its traditions mostly because they were forced on me, besides I had better things to do that would entertain me ... like riding my bicycle or go fishing. I grew up in a church which at that time seemed to only teach "Turn or Burn". I did not know this God, and I was sure too naughty for Him to want to know me ... It was only later in life that I started to understand God's Love toward me. My folks decided they wanted to leave Rhodesia for SA and so they dumped me in a boarding school just over the boarder and I was given the instruction to ensure I go to church. Although I had no intention of going to church I was encouraged by my school friends to join them at a local youth group every Friday night and subsequently I loved it. I did not like the Sunday service though ... too traditional ... stand up ... sing ... sit down x6 and then listen to a sermon which was way over my head. Boring ... yawn!!! In my last 2 years of high school I was taken to the big city and became a normal day scholar again. My sister led me to a Full Gospel church and I served a God who was somewhere ... Out there ->. Why serve God this way? Everyone else was doing it. Talk about the blind leading the blind. For a few years I served this God. I lived for the moments that we would sing in church, I couldn't wait to feel God's presence ...i.e. " the tingling sensations". I saw the Pastor praying for people and how they would fall under the annointing. Why I never fell or felt anything when I went up for prayer I do not know?

    I had questions.
    Why are there so many people singing Gospel songs and writing so many spiritual books. Why are there so many scholars in bible colleges and so many churches in the world? What is their pay off? Do they also live for the tingling sensations? Or are they following the more traditional approach of ... "the just shall live by faith". Is there "another level" after having walked in faith called the "sensation level" where our senses play a big role? We love with feelings, we love with emotions? Is the church today serving God like this? What have I missed out? Should we only live by Faith alone and forget any feelings that we experience? Or do I have it all wrong? Back to my testimony ...

    4 years went by and I was in a new town, new church and started dating a lovely lady ( my friends instigated this ). This lady use to be a stripper in another city before settling down with her folks in our town. She had just given her heart to Jesus and was 4 months in the church. I loved this woman and she was everything a man would want to live for. She was young, pretty and she had a great sense of humour. The marriage date was set for the next year and my principle of no sex before marriage she had to comply to. I needed to know, does she love me for my money & body or because I am her best friend. 3 Months later ... she could not wait & dumped me for her ex. Her friends later told me that she would cry all night because I would not sleep with her and thus was under the impression that I did not love her. I was devastated and could not get over her. I left that church because she was a new christian, she needed their support. If I hung around who knows what would happen to her soul? I looked for another church closer to home to settle into but it was not the same ... too many traditions and clicks. End result .... never did go to church after that until ....
    15yrs later I was helping out as a replacement for a month in another town and was invited to go with a friend to a local Full Gospel church. I decided to go, not because I felt I needed to go, but because I did not want to disappoint my friend. Although they sung familiar songs, I felt out of place in this church ... I stood there with absolute defiance in my posture, my lips were sealed and I was determined not to let a single word of praise exit my lips ... inside my spirit man wanted to leap out & praise God but on the outside I just wanted to run out of the building. What is happening to me? I thought. I am having a war between my body & spirit. My 5 second prayers each day were not working. I thought I knew God but here I am unable to praise Him together with all His people. 2 weeks later I was invited again to go to church by the same friend and even more so in church I had to contrain myself from running out of the building. By now I knew if Jesus came again ... I would be left behind. This was my wake up call.

    I went back home with lots of questions and found a book to read in the local book shop and I came to my senses that here in the world I am not in this place for no reason. I have a life lesson to learn. Where I am is because it was planned this way by God. I am here to learn, improve as a person and be there for those around me. I am not a mistake and neither am I here in this place because I made the wrong decision. Having a purpose just seemed to make it so much easier for me to live. For the 1st time in 15yrs I dusted off my old bible and started to read again. I became hungry for the Word, waking up early hours of the morning to read and in the early stages went to bed late at night. In my house where my folks live with me I am very aware that sound travels through doors and walls. I dare not make a noise. I pray most of the time with my mind. Out of interest and desperate for some encounter with heaven I bought a book on how to connect with my guiding Angel. The book said that I must light my candle. I bought a candle but when it eventually burnt out to a stubble after the second day I talked to God and told him that if He is going to speak to me through an Angel, it will have to be with the lights on. The book said that I must have a fragrance in the room ... Problem ... my mother is asthmatic & the fragrance will have her caughing all night as the breeze flows mostly from my room to her room. No can do.

    I remember that for 4 months at appointed times I would daily read my bible ... listen to the sounds of the night ... be aware of every feeling in my body ... and question in my heart ... God where are you? Jesus where are you? Holy Spirit where are you? The one evening I had just drifted off to sleep at around 9:20pm when my phone rang. There was a confused soul at work that needed transport home and he would not listen to the advice I was giving. After giving him an instruction to speak to the supervisor on shift I put the phone down. By then I was angry, frustrated ... I had spent many many days seeking God who did say " Seek Me and you will find Me", but where was He? Why could I not find Him. In my frustration I rejected God, I told Him that I never wanted to speak to Him again. I told Him that I would go to work the next day just to earn a living and put food on the table. I told Him that I am tired from seeking, tired of looking for Him. I told Him that I had given up ... and that HE must not bother hiding anymore from me. I fell asleep ... only to awake 5 min later.
    I felt this incredible Love. Love had wrapped me in its arms. Like being in a cacoon, like being wrapped in a blanket, I was being smothered with God's Love. All I could feel & sense was Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love. For 2hrs I basked in His Love until I could keep my eyes open no longer. I fell asleep and when I awoke the next morning it felt like my train was back on the railway tracks, I was clearly focused, I had a purpose, a goal to achieve and that goal was to know my God.

    A few evenings later I had just finished my bible study and I was sitting on the side of my bed. I was still searching with my spirit man, listening to the sounds of the evening and trying to understand where is God. I would question with my mind ... God where are you? ... Jesus where are you? Holy Spirit where are you? Not even 3 minutes had passed when I experienced a person right in front of me. Though my eyes were tightly shut I could clearly feel His form. I opened my eyes but could not see anything. I closed my eyes again and yes ... He was real ... more real than anything I could see with my eyes open. I closed my eyes and very gently this Person came inside me and filled me with tingling sensations from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I could feel His presence inside me and all around me and just knew that it was the Holy Spirit. I was startled to be honest. Can this really be happening to me? Before the minute was up I could sense His presence no more but was left in awe of what had just happened.

    That very next day I wrote a letter to God and I asked Him to put the answer in my mind before writing the letter "What must I do to have an intimate relationship with God?". No sooner had I written when I had a picture of a church bell in my mind and I just knew that I needed to go to Church. Nothing was going to stop me. I needed to go to church that Sunday. Sunday came and the preacher spoke on the Father heart of God and His love. After the service I introduced myself to the Pastor and left. That evening I had again just finished my bible study and I was just sitting still with my back against the headboard of my bed and being mindful, pondering on His greatness, His awesomeness, His splendour, when again I felt this presence of a Person before me. Very powerfully this Presence entered my body. My stomach muscles tightened for what seemed like a minute with all the power they had to squeeze me and a most awesome feeling of excitement, electricity, tingling sensations flooded by whole body from end to end. These sensations would last for about 20 minutes and before I knew it, I heard a small still voice in my mind say "And here He comes again". For the next 2 hours I was filled again and again and again with what seemed like waves of His presence entering me. Finally just before midnight I could relax and fall asleep.
    Early the next morning about 4 hrs later I awoke and had no time to think of anything. The words "And here He comes again" echoed in my mind when again my stomach muscles would tighten as wave upon wave of His presence would fill me. I was thrilled with the encounter that I had, and at 1st opportunity I phoned the pastor to share with him what happened to me. He was speechless & prayed for me ... I am sure he thought I might manifest a demon but then after praying he agreed that I had received the Holy Spirit.

    For the next 4 months I would once a week receive these waves of infillng and my stomach muscles would tighten each time. Now I am more relaxed and become "SUDDENLY" more aware of His awesome presence and then know something good is going to happen. My hands & feet go numb when I bask in His presence. Other times it feels like lightening bolts coming out of my hands. If I lie on my bed & I think about nothing - I experience ... nothing, but interestingly, the second I put my thoughts on God and on His awesomenss I immediately become aware of His presence more so than normal. I learn't that the sensations I experience are tangible. I have prayed for many people since this day and have seen many people touched every time by God's presence.
    What I do know is this ... there is a price to pay. Live a Godly life free of sin. At every opportune moment have your thoughts on God because His thoughts toward us are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. There is not a day that goes by when I do not feel His presence. I awake in His presence and go to sleep in His presence. He never leaves me and at times I become very powerfully aware that he wants to use me as His instrument and for His glory.

    It is my hope that my testimony not demoralise anyone but rather that it would stir up your heart to seek God because you will find him if you seek with all your heart.

    God Bless you all.
  2. Brother Mike

    Brother Mike New Member

    Many scoff at the idea of people falling down under the power of the Holy Ghost, and put their mouth on ministers who have that kind of anointing on their lives, do so because they are ignorant of any relationship, or understanding of God, and the Holy Spirit.

    Your testimony is very awesome!!! For some time, I had wondered how people could feel God's presence (The anointing) so strong as to not being able to stand up. I wondered why I never experienced that.

    One day while just looking out side, I noticed a cloud coming down. I was not real sure what I was seeing, then I felt that awesome power of God all over my body. I did good just to grab the door to keep my knee's from buckling. I was in awe at the love and power that was filling me.

    Latter on, I have experienced that, one time I had been praising God with someone waiting on a ambulance, I suddenly felt that anointing all over and the person was healed right there.

    I don't experience that awesome power like some seem to do at every church service, but I can feel the presence of the anointing of God. I have come to learn though, we filled with the Holy Ghost and stay in prayer, faith, and God's will are constantly radiating God's anointing. We get use to it, and we are more anointed than we think. Many times others have said that they saw a glow around me, other said they feel the power of God radiating off me, and I don't notice a thing. So, lots of times, I am just anointed by faith, because I don't feel any different, but I know that anointing is there, to respond, to help, to give a message that will deliver someone.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Jesus Is Lord.
  3. Rudi

    Rudi New Member

    I must share the following - I have ministering to an individual in the work environment who previously did not know Jesus as his Saviour. When I prayed for him he experienced nothing although I could feel God's power was touching him. Later months he gave his life to the Lord. Now when we are both in the room our meetings start with a prayer. Often he we would tell me ... "I am getting goose bumps again" especially if he is sharing a testmony or the subject of discussion becomes God related. In the past I used to think that it was just emotions being stirred up. Now I have come to believe that God is blessing us with the awareness of His Presence. We need to be very greatful when this happens. God did say "where 2 or 3 are gathered in my Name there I am in the midst of them". Not that he ever left us for He has chosen to dwell within us.

    David cried "Lord, take not your Holy Spirit from me". David knew how precious the awareness of God's presence was. After 4 months of being "soaked" in His Presence I awoke the one morning to find that I had no awareness of Him at all. All those feelings, all the awareness I had of His Presence were gone. I found my prayer time reduced from 4hrs to just 1 min because I felt that "God did not want to talk to me". I would sing a song, synchronise my breathing, pray a religious prayer, get on my knees ( normally I just lie in bed praying - its more comfortable ) and despite all my efforts the awareness of His Presence seemed to have disappeared with the going down of the sun.

    Day 1 evening - I read a short passage of scripture, started a conversation with God which quickly ended - "where are you God? Where is the presence of your Holy Spirit". I waited a while but nothing. I was disappointed and went straight to bed without wishing Him good night.

    Day 2 Morning. I normally am woken by the presence of the Holy Spirit, but this time I felt different. I felt normal, as if God had left me. I was depressed, upset ... I wanted Him so badly. Again I tried some religious stunts like read my bible, wait quietly for Him, but got impatient and when I could not wait any longer I got busy with other non-God related things. My heart was grieved ... God did not want to talk to me.

    Day 2 Evening. I had had enough. I cried out to the Lord. "Please do not tease me. You have blessed me with your presence all these days, show me my faults that I may walk in the awareness of your presence again. Speak to my heart to my mind and let me know".
    From out of no-where my mind seemed to talk back to me. I could hear my own voice talking in my mind but knew that the origin of that voice was from God and His answer was ...
    "The anointing does not come from your works . If I choose to anoint you I will"

    In that moment I answered God -" Lord have it your way ... I am going to stop all my tactics to force your anointing on me, in future I will trust You, I will believe by faith just like everyone else, and if You should choose to anoint me with your Presence then so be it." No sooner had I said that prayer when the awareness of His Presence returned as though someone turned the tap on and praise God He is never taken it away.

    It was great reading your testimony brother Mike, I look forward to reading the testimonies of the other Christians out there.

    Holy is our God.
  4. smpvw66

    smpvw66 New Member

    Hello, Can I just ask, how do you know this is definitely the Holy Spirit as this has happened to me and I've felt terrified and felt it must be an evil presence?
  5. truthquest

    truthquest New Member

    I feel the need to respond to your question even though it wasn't directed to me. I can relate to what you said as this has happened to me, too, even in some churches. Because of the way I grew up, I attended many different churches. Some of these churches I was afraid to enter and remain in for very long. Because there were times when I actually felt the temperature drop, even in the summertime, and I felt terrified.
    After I grew up and got married, I was visiting one of my neighbors one day. She proceeded to tell me that her husband, who had passed away, had been appearing to her. As she was telling me this, the temperature in the room dropped to the point that I had chills; it was summertime and her house had been quite warm before this. She asked me, "Do you feel that?" I said, "Yes, I do".
    Needless to say, these were not good feelings I was having at that point, I actually felt evil around us. I told her that we should pray and I started praying for help and protection from this evil that we were feeling. As I was praying, the coldness dissipated and I felt warmth instead; this warmth felt good, protective and reassuring.
    So in my experience, when one feels afraid, this is not the holy spirit, quite the opposite. It is not a good spirit that is present. But when there is warmth and good feelings, and feeling protected, this is holy spirit. I have felt holy spirit when I pray and I have felt it even stronger when I am in a group of people who are praying. This isn't the only time I have felt the holy spirit but just an example.
    I hope what I have told you has answered your question to some degree.
  6. smpvw66

    smpvw66 New Member

    Thanks TruthQuest,

    Actually the temperature drop thing has been happening as well, even during a sermon and fear has gripped my stomach... However I have prayed with an intercessor about the evil presence I was feeling come into my room (I had tried to call out to Jesus but couldn't make a noise and my bed had shaken on another occassion). We prayed for over three hours and she also had 2 other intercessors praying. For the following few days I have felt tingling on my head and legs and really thought this was an evil presence still, however I have covered myself in the blood of Jesus, have been baptised and am praying constantly for protection and yet it is still there, even in a prayer meeting last night (the tingling, not the sense of evil). That would mean Jesus doesn't have authority over it if, which can't be true so I am allowing the tingling feeling now as I can only conclude that it is the Holy Spirit. If you don't believe it is can you make any suggestions on what I should be doing?

    I am very grateful for any advice.
  7. truthquest

    truthquest New Member

    What you are describing saying "evil presence" in your room and bed shaking, this indicates something else is going on. It is hard to say what exactly is causing this. Sometimes a doorway is opened into the spirit world. I'm not saying this is something you have done but it is important to consider when this started and the circumstances surrounding it. There are many things to take into account and I don't know your full situation.
    You said after the 2 intercessors prayed, that you thought there was still an evil presence. If it was truly the holy spirit, you would have no doubts about it.
    But whatever the situation, nothing is impossible for God. He is stronger than anything that may try to harm us and he is faithful to save us. I would suggest that you continue to pray for help and protection and ask others to pray for you as well. Jesus definitely has authority over evil. And as I said, it is important to try to consider when all this started and what may have caused it. This needs to be addressed also.
  8. skyangel

    skyangel Realist

    Many people tend to think they are filled with the Holy Spirit because of their "feelings" and emotions but the bible tells us those who are born of God cannot sin and the only way to tell whether you are born again or born of God or not is by the fruits of your own life not by your feelings. Those fruits include the holiness and righteousness and perfection of God and means you can no longer sin.
    If you still sin you are of the devil.

    1 John 3:6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.

    1 John 3:8-10 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.

    Feelings have nothing at all to do with it. Don't be deceived or seduced by your own feelings.
    Satan seduces people to follow a false Christ by giving them the feelings their flesh craves.