Hey disorderedattraction,That's hard man, not gonna lie. Like you, I am gay (or "homosexual"), and while I've never been in a relationship such as the one you were in, I know what it's like to have that sort of attraction and love for someone who wants nothing to do with you. I also know how much harder it is when people are telling you that your love and attraction are sins.Take heart. I'll be praying for you. I know it's hard to do it now, but trust that God will bring you through this, and that one day you'll look back on this and smile.