Honor Your Mother/Hate Your Mother?

[marks]

What do "Love" and "Hate" mean Biblically?

I think we often use the word hate to describe emotional revulsion, extreme dislike, visceral feelings, but is that what God means when He says that?

Malachi 1:2-4 KJV
2) I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob,
3) And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.
4) Whereas Edom saith, We are impoverished, but we will return and build the desolate places; thus saith the LORD of hosts, They shall build, but I will throw down; and they shall call them, The border of wickedness, and, The people against whom the LORD hath indignation for ever.

Much love!

 

[Ronald Nolette]

I know these verses go together.

Honor your mother.
Hate your mother. (And even your own life).
Who is my mother and brother?
Let the dead bury their own dead.

I know they GO together but I can’t PUT them together. They aren’t IN me in an integrated understanding. As my friend would say, I’m a half baked cake in this matter, a cake not turned yet. I don’t have the balance.

Any help?

Jews had a unique way and still do of saying they like something less than another. They say I hate it. So when Jesus said to hate mother and father, He was not saying to hate them in teh way we understand, but to love them less than God.

Jesus wasn't renouncing His human family. He was showing th espiritual reality that when one is born again, they have been given a much larger spiritual family.

The dead burying the dead. That was said to a man whom wanted to be a disciple, but wanted to wait until his parents were dead before he left home to follow Jesus. And as an idiom it implies that that would take a while. So Jesus was simply telling the man to let the unsaved bury the unsaved (dead spiritually) and for the man to follow Him. another way to look at it. at age say 18 I wanted to be a missionary, but my parents in good health and in their early 40's were still alive. So I tell God I will become a missionary once my parents are dead.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Okay. I think it means, "Know when to answer a fool - and when it's best to remain silent." That takes discernment. (How you answer him when you do is an implementation detail.) Me, I usually remain silent when I should speak up, and speak up when I should hold my peace. So who's the greater fool?

If that works for you, go with it. The never and always/ don’t and be sure to aspect doesn’t allow it to work for me.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

What is the correct way to honor your father and mother when they want to see you destroyed? What if your abuse by their hands stretches into your adulthood and then they try to also destroy their grandchildren? I understand forgiveness and wishing them no ill, despite what they did or do. I don’t understand a definition of how to go about honoring them though.

Well if you are no longer under their roof, you are no longer responsible directly to them.

Love them, but you do not have to like them or even visit them if they are abusive.

Speak the truth to them, but do so in love in the hopes they will see the evil that has grabbed their hearts and seek first divine forgiveness, then yours.

Forgive them completely in your heart, but to absolve them of their guilt towards you- they have to acknowledge their cruelty to you. That is paradoxical, but true.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

One aspect of all this in my life is that once I began to understand what I was dealing with in my mom from childhood and now, (which is really just the fallen human condition of us all, but in a completely shameless and on steroids way in some people) I was intent on reading and reading to determine if she knew what she did or did not know what she did. Not sure why that was so all consuming of a question for me. But having examined myself, her, others and many situations, I think it doesn’t really matter if she knows or doesn’t know. Deceiving is bad, yes, and it at least begins with knowing I think, but something then happens where you go from bad to worse and also become deceived yourself, and to come back from that, a seared conscience, is probably not going to happen.
I’m recalling a scene from the movie Sleeping With the Enemy, where the husband says to the wife after beating her up, something like…you’re not saying I enjoyed that are you?? She replies, oh God no. That would make you a monster! But the truth is, my mom enjoys it. I’ve caught the most sickening little smile and accompanying narrowing of the eyes, a sneaky and self pleased triumph of, I win, I win, I destroyed all that persons peace and emotional well-being! I destroyed them and I rule supreme!

 

[Ronald Nolette]

One aspect of all this in my life is that once I began to understand what I was dealing with in my mom from childhood and now, (which is really just the fallen human condition of us all, but in a completely shameless and on steroids way in some people) I was intent on reading and reading to determine if she knew what she did or did not know what she did. Not sure why that was so all consuming of a question for me. But having examined myself, her, others and many situations, I think it doesn’t really matter if she knows or doesn’t know. Deceiving is bad, yes, and it at least begins with knowing I think, but something then happens where you go from bad to worse and also become deceived yourself, and to come back from that, a seared conscience, is probably not going to happen.
I’m recalling a scene from the movie Sleeping With the Enemy, where the husband says to the wife after beating her up, something like…you’re not saying I enjoyed that are you?? She replies, oh God no. That would make you a monster! But the truth is, my mom enjoys it. I’ve caught the most sickening little smile and accompanying narrowing of the eyes, a sneaky and self pleased triumph of, I win, I win, I destroyed all that persons peace and emotional well-being! I destroyed them and I rule supreme!

Well it is important to know if it was done intentionally or the result of psycholical and emotional break from reality. But either way, you do not have to accept it as an adult and you do have a high responsibility to protect your children from a real probability of abusive language/ behavior.

 

[marks]

Forgive them completely in your heart, but to absolve them of their guilt towards you- they have to acknowledge their cruelty to you. That is paradoxical, but true.

My mother had mental illness, and never throughout her life was she able to acknowledge the harm she had both inflicted and brought into her family. I personally was not able to forgive her until after shortly after her death. God had spoken to me some years previous that she was His daughter, so I didn't have any question about that. And after she was dead, I accepted the reality that God not only forgave her, but blessed her beyond imagining in His love for her, and my anger against her just evaporated, and I forgave her.

I've only just this moment realized something.

I wasn't going to tell the entire quote, but there was more God said.

I wanted nothing to do with my mother for a number of years. As her health declined, I was being called on to step in to take care of her needs. I did not want to. There were a number of others who actually had relationship with her, I thought they should.

In one of those very few times when I assert positively, God spoke to me, He said, "She is my beloved daughter, and you will serve her." And so I did. With a certain anger, bitterness, but I did my best to not let it affect me, and served her.

What I've only this moment realized, God did NOT say, "She is your mother, and you will serve her." No, He said, "She is my daughter."

Much love!

 

[marks]

Well it is important to know if it was done intentionally or the result of psycholical and emotional break from reality. But either way, you do not have to accept it as an adult and you do have a high responsibility to protect your children from a real probability of abusive language/ behavior.

I think something else important is to come to understand how growing up in these environments has affected us, in how we ourselves treat others, and how we interpret other people's behavior. Someone might, for instance, find trusting others difficult because of an untrustworthy parent. Or they may take the opposite path, and be untrustworthy them self.

Much love!

 

[Ronald Nolette]

My mother had mental illness, and never throughout her life was she able to acknowledge the harm she had both inflicted and brought into her family. I personally was not able to forgive her until after shortly after her death. God had spoken to me some years previous that she was His daughter, so I didn't have any question about that. And after she was dead, I accepted the reality that God not only forgave her, but blessed her beyond imagining in His love for her, and my anger against her just evaporated, and I forgave her.

I've only just this moment realized something.

I wasn't going to tell the entire quote, but there was more God said.

I wanted nothing to do with my mother for a number of years. As her health declined, I was being called on to step in to take care of her needs. I did not want to. There were a number of others who actually had relationship with her, I thought they should.

In one of those very few times when I assert positively, God spoke to me, He said, "She is my beloved daughter, and you will serve her." And so I did. With a certain anger, bitterness, but I did my best to not let it affect me, and served her.

What I've only this moment realized, God did NOT say, "She is your mother, and you will serve her." No, He said, "She is my daughter."

Much love!

sounds like God orchestrated a healing for you!

 

[Ronald Nolette]

I think something else important is to come to understand how growing up in these environments has affected us, in how we ourselves treat others, and how we interpret other people's behavior. Someone might, for instance, find trusting others difficult because of an untrustworthy parent. Or they may take the opposite path, and be untrustworthy them self.

Much love!

-
I know! My father abandoned our family when I was three. I had a very hard time trusting a fathers love. But God in His infinite patience and love gently taught me!

 

[marks]

sounds like God orchestrated a healing for you!

He certainly did!

Can we trust God with our sin? I was in anger and bitterness and unforgivenss for years. Was I able to get myself out of it? Some would say yes, some no. The problem isn't about the power, in Christ we have all the power we need. The problem is in the will. The problem is never the power, contrary to those who await their "second benefit", the problem is ALWAYS the will.

Can we trust that God has a means by which He will free us from our worst entanglements even if we have not been able to?

I've learned, yes, we can! Which I also find tends to make me feel more empowered. Now, I KNOW I will have victory, the only question, now, is when?

Much love!

 

[marks]

-
I know! My father abandoned our family when I was three. I had a very hard time trusting a fathers love. But God in His infinite patience and love gently taught me!

I was two. My heart goes out to you! Those were very young ages!!

Years ago, my younger sister wrote me to say she'd been in therapy, and seemed to be remembering things from childhood, and to ask, did these things really happen? I spent the next two hours writing her back to share what I remembered, and essentially, yes, it's all true. After that I was emotionally wrecked.

I left the library (writing her email) and sat down in my car. I turned on the boom box, it cut in mid-sentence, "Psalm 21:10, when my father and mother forsake me, the LORD shall take me up." That's when I started to cry, my Father was there with me. Still, it's a long road. But He IS amazing!

Much love!

 

[stunnedbygrace]

It seems like our entire adulthood’s are spent recovering from our childhoods…

 

[Taken]

I know these verses go together.

Honor your mother.
Hate your mother. (And even your own life).
Who is my mother and brother?
Let the dead bury their own dead.

I know they GO together but I can’t PUT them together. They aren’t IN me in an integrated understanding. As my friend would say, I’m a half baked cake in this matter, a cake not turned yet. I don’t have the balance.

Any help?

MOTHER ~

Honor her for the POSITION she sits.
* Your mother is your mother, no matter if you be together, or apart, she is your mother, and always due the recognition of her POSITION.
* Your mother is also HUMAN, and her POSITION is always an underling of the Lord.

It’s a teaching. Yes give consideration of your mothers honored POSITION, yet even she is NOT held in a higher POSITION than the Lord God.

 

[Taken]

@stunnedbygrace

WILL OF GOD ~

WHO is my mother and brother? (Jesus speaking).
Every person WHO Does the Will of Jesus’ Father.

AND WHO does the Will of Jesus’ Father?
The individual WHO does...the Works and Service of God..

AND WHAT is the Works of God? (John 6:28-29)
* To BELIEVE in God, and BELIEVE in the One God Sent, ie JESUS the Christ.

AND WHAT is the Service of God? (Rom 10:9 ~ Rom 12:1 ~ Pss 37:5)
* To CALL on the Name JESUS, and CONFESS your HEARTFELT BELIEF and TRUST in He is Faithful and True TO KEEP you unto Himself.

 

[Taken]

@stunnedbygrace

THE DEAD ~

Spiritually DEAD?
Physically DEAD?

God IS Spirit, so consider His view of what is Spiritually Dead...
Every manKIND of thing, bodily alive, that IS, not with Him.
Every naturally born babe IS, not aware of Him, or with Him.
Every naturally born babe, child, youth, teen, adult, who has Never heard of Him, who has heard of Him, yet not chosen to BE WITH Him; IS NOT WITH Him.

Human BODY’S are physical. Alive body’s can be WITH or WITHOUT God. Dead human body’s ARE WITHOUT God.

Let the DEAD, bury the DEAD, means...
Let the Spiritually Dead, (without God) bury the Physically Dead, (without God).

And WHAT was the POINT, in that “particular” Scriptural Passage?

IN CONTEXT: Review the whole of Luke, Chapter 9, Verse 1, Jesus’ Disciples were just given Power and Authority “A MISSION”...
to PREACH and HEAL...

Moving along to Verse 57, a person (not of the Twelve) speaks up and say he ALSO will follow Jesus. (Great...another agreeing to BE a disciple and follow Jesus.)

Verse 59, that same person, “agreeing to follow”, immediately wants to be excused, FROM following, to go bury his dead father.

Jesus response is; let the dead bury the dead... (ie meaning let the Spiritually dead, bury the physically dead).......BECAUSE .....
The MISSION of Spiritual Saving of the Still Living (who are NOT Spiritually Saved), IS more pressing and important.

In other words; there is nothing one can do FOR the physically Dead, that is NOT Spiritually Saved....therefore exert your effort on teaching the LIVING who are Spiritually DEAD, HOW TO Become Spiritually ALIVE.

Glory to God,
Taken

 

[CadyandZoe]

I know these verses go together.

Honor your mother.
Hate your mother. (And even your own life).
Who is my mother and brother?
Let the dead bury their own dead.

I know they GO together but I can’t PUT them together. They aren’t IN me in an integrated understanding. As my friend would say, I’m a half baked cake in this matter, a cake not turned yet. I don’t have the balance.

Any help?

Let me give it a shot. I honor my mother and my father, not only because God commanded it, but also because they gave birth to me, they raised me and they did so much for me that I couldn't repay. Love my parents because they first loved me. I love Jesus also for much the same reasons. My new life is found in him. What he did for me I can never repay.

I love my parents and I love Jesus. But what if my mother hates Jesus? Assuming she has rejected Jesus, she will work at cross purposes to him as it pertains to my life. What Jesus tells me is wise, my mother will tell me is foolish. What Jesus tells me is foolish, my mother will tell me is wise. Thus, my mother's rejection of Jesus becomes an existential crisis in my life. I am being forced to ask, "Do I want to be the person my mother wishes me to be, or do I want to be the person Jesus wishes me to be?" In this situation, if I chose to honor my mother, I am, at the very same time, rejecting Jesus. But if I chose to honor Jesus, I am, at the very same time, rejecting my mother.

I don't wish to reject my mother. I love my mother. But if the question is put to me, I must make the right choice if I want to live.

In a very real sense, choosing my new life over my old life is to chose a new set of mothers and brothers, unless of course, my mother and my brothers also chose the same new life that I have chosen.

That isn't to say that I must stop having loving feelings toward my mother, or give her a hug, and send her flowers on her birthday. And I can support her in her old age and comfort her when she is feeling sad. I can love my mother and feel very close to her. But in my new life, I must follow Jesus and not my mother.

That's how I see it, knowing how hard it is to face and to say -- at times.

BTW, my mother has passed on now and I am hoping I will see her again. I don't think my mother rejected Jesus. I don't know for sure. She was raised Catholic and perhaps in her secret thoughts she loved Jesus. Who can know? I can hope.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

I was two. My heart goes out to you! Those were very young ages!!

Years ago, my younger sister wrote me to say she'd been in therapy, and seemed to be remembering things from childhood, and to ask, did these things really happen? I spent the next two hours writing her back to share what I remembered, and essentially, yes, it's all true. After that I was emotionally wrecked.

I left the library (writing her email) and sat down in my car. I turned on the boom box, it cut in mid-sentence, "Psalm 21:10, when my father and mother forsake me, the LORD shall take me up." That's when I started to cry, my Father was there with me. Still, it's a long road. But He IS amazing!

Much love!

And as you have probably already know, when evil befalls us, not only does God deliver, but He uses the very evil and turn it into good for our lives in HIm! We serve such a wonderful Savior.

I love teh story of Joseph when he revealed himself to his brothers and said- "What you meant for evil, God turned into good!"

 

[marks]

And as you have probably already know, when evil befalls us, not only does God deliver, but He uses the very evil and turn it into good for our lives in HIm! We serve such a wonderful Savior.

I love teh story of Joseph when he revealed himself to his brothers and said- "What you meant for evil, God turned into good!"

Amen!! I need to always hold this in mind, there seem to always be storms!

Much love!

 

[Bob Estey]

I know these verses go together.

Honor your mother.
Hate your mother. (And even your own life).
Who is my mother and brother?
Let the dead bury their own dead.

I know they GO together but I can’t PUT them together. They aren’t IN me in an integrated understanding. As my friend would say, I’m a half baked cake in this matter, a cake not turned yet. I don’t have the balance.

Any help?

I don't know exactly what you mean by "GO together."

"Honor your mother/hate your mother." Jesus is just trying to make a point. "Honor your mother" is a commandment - you have to obey it. But you also have to remember your mother isn't perfect. Only God is perfect.

"Who is your mother and brother?" I'll tell you: those who walk with the Lord are your mother and brother.

"Let the dead bury their own dead." I don't have a firm grasp of this verse, but I would just say not to make too big a deal out of burying the dead.

"How all this goes together?" It's your turn: you tell me. (Maybe they don't all go together.)