Hi there,
So something you may not know about me, but I have a habit of mulling questions of the faith, over in my mind. I basically do a stress test "do I believe enough?" "how would I express that faith differently?" I want a tight, easy to grasp relationship with God, with Jesus. But I was thinking about Christ's faith and how He related to God and was perfect and decided to make a sacrifice for our sins: and the thought dawned on me, "maybe I am slowing Jesus down?" Like in my obstinate desire, to see all things fulfilled, maybe I was not doing the greater will of God, by pretending to be a full blown Christian, that knows all kinds of things about the scripture, but basically finds it hard to lift a finger to help other people's understanding. I get frustrated, I guess is what I am saying, but I recognise that frustration is not of God and I feel like "well, why waste my time with it?" as if to say "Jesus will do it without me, what does it matter where I stand?"
The point is that where I stand, does matter. What I am not certain about, is how Jesus will go about correcting me, when He could save more, by rescuing more people besides me? I guess what I am saying is "what is my relationship with the Holy Spirit?" I want that, that relationship: He doesn't slow the Lord down, He doesn't set aside the one for the sake of a greater flock, His word is ever new, He can be trusted, the list goes on. I mean I guess what I am saying is that I need to learn to hate the Devil, that it is the Devil that gets in the way of the Word and its spreading and the longer I am in a funk, the more the Devil's attacks start to work. But something I notice, is that a lot of believers get hung up on how other believers interpret the Word - this is the reverse of the problem, other believers slowing the work of Christ down.
I guess the thing is, we agree that this is all the work of the Devil and the lofty idea that we can be responsible for our faith without Christ - enough that we could fail the test of faith without Christ knowing how to cope - is basically just that "a lofty idea". I should restrain from calling it strange too, I suppose; once we are in Heaven, it will be quite clear where our faith grew strong and where weak, such that we don't doubt that we could have done more, but praise God anyway. That would make sense. That would establish that it is the kingdom to come, that we are indebted to, not some earthly kingdom that Jesus pours precious water on from on High - though it is nice, that we have each other, in this life. I guess what I am saying, is that I should stop questioning it and start praying it, repenting of it, until my will is in line with His. That would make sense. I hope I haven't taken you for too bumpy a ride, I don't mean to say this doubt is a good thing, but sometimes the contrast between light and dark brings about its own beauty.
The Bride be blessed! There is nothing Her Bridegroom won't do for her! I hope this has been a help.
God bless.
So something you may not know about me, but I have a habit of mulling questions of the faith, over in my mind. I basically do a stress test "do I believe enough?" "how would I express that faith differently?" I want a tight, easy to grasp relationship with God, with Jesus. But I was thinking about Christ's faith and how He related to God and was perfect and decided to make a sacrifice for our sins: and the thought dawned on me, "maybe I am slowing Jesus down?" Like in my obstinate desire, to see all things fulfilled, maybe I was not doing the greater will of God, by pretending to be a full blown Christian, that knows all kinds of things about the scripture, but basically finds it hard to lift a finger to help other people's understanding. I get frustrated, I guess is what I am saying, but I recognise that frustration is not of God and I feel like "well, why waste my time with it?" as if to say "Jesus will do it without me, what does it matter where I stand?"
The point is that where I stand, does matter. What I am not certain about, is how Jesus will go about correcting me, when He could save more, by rescuing more people besides me? I guess what I am saying is "what is my relationship with the Holy Spirit?" I want that, that relationship: He doesn't slow the Lord down, He doesn't set aside the one for the sake of a greater flock, His word is ever new, He can be trusted, the list goes on. I mean I guess what I am saying is that I need to learn to hate the Devil, that it is the Devil that gets in the way of the Word and its spreading and the longer I am in a funk, the more the Devil's attacks start to work. But something I notice, is that a lot of believers get hung up on how other believers interpret the Word - this is the reverse of the problem, other believers slowing the work of Christ down.
I guess the thing is, we agree that this is all the work of the Devil and the lofty idea that we can be responsible for our faith without Christ - enough that we could fail the test of faith without Christ knowing how to cope - is basically just that "a lofty idea". I should restrain from calling it strange too, I suppose; once we are in Heaven, it will be quite clear where our faith grew strong and where weak, such that we don't doubt that we could have done more, but praise God anyway. That would make sense. That would establish that it is the kingdom to come, that we are indebted to, not some earthly kingdom that Jesus pours precious water on from on High - though it is nice, that we have each other, in this life. I guess what I am saying, is that I should stop questioning it and start praying it, repenting of it, until my will is in line with His. That would make sense. I hope I haven't taken you for too bumpy a ride, I don't mean to say this doubt is a good thing, but sometimes the contrast between light and dark brings about its own beauty.
The Bride be blessed! There is nothing Her Bridegroom won't do for her! I hope this has been a help.
God bless.
