I think I finally lost my faith

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Mink57

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After years of trying to hold onto my faith I am ready to give up. I once had a beautiful relationship with God but many things made me question his love for me: a lifetime of poverty, an abusive relationship with my father, trauma, being isolated, people who treated me badly getting away with their abuses and living great lives, losing my stepchildren, and just struggling with life in general. I recently finished listening to an audio New Testament but could not find any verses that could help me believe that God would fulfill the last thing I was holding on for (that in Heaven he would create a gryphon that I often dream about). In the few prayers I have made in the past few years I asked God for answers. Why he didn't make me rich, why he didn't make me famous, why he didn't make me desirable, why my life has to be what it is and was.
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Jesus said, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven."

Had God made you rich, famous and/or desirable, what kind of person would you be? What would you do with the money? Spend it on yourself? Family? Friends? Strangers?

Would you be able to handle the money AND remain a 'godly' person? Would you use much of it to help the poor?

If I'm honest, I can say that I have thought about being rich myself. My first thought was, "Now I can help the poor!" But did I really mean those words literally? Did I mean that I can help the poor NOW, or did I mean that I can help the poor later...AFTER I'm done helping myself FIRST? Would I have helped the poor by giving a sizable donation that I'd want EVERYONE to see?

God knows the answer to these questions. WE, however, most often do not. We think we know. We know how we'd like to be. But too often, how we'd like to be, doesn't materialize.
Many people rely on the book of Job as an easy answer for our sufferings. I feel like I pose as a problem to the Christian community because I am proof that even if we hold on as Job did there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
The moral of Job's story wasn't to demonstrate that there will be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It was a demonstration in faith during adversity. How often do we thank God for any good fortune...and curse Him if it's taken away from us? Or, do some of us curse Him if He never gave us any good fortune to begin with?

Sure someone can say God is going to reward us in Heaven but the problem is that Heaven's riches are pretty common.
Oh? Depends on how you define 'riches'. One can define 'riches' and 'wealth' as material riches and wealth. A fat bank account...yachts...multi-million dollar mansions, etc. Yet, are they HAPPY?

Another can define 'riches' as having what they need. The love of family, friends, even complete strangers.

So really, what do you think Heaven's "riches" are?
For example, its riches are kind of pointless because at that point no one dies and any hypothetical wealth they can receive won't really do any good. On earth they could have used it for food, medical related expenses and other necessities.
What makes you think that Heaven's 'riches' are materialistic?

I try to keep a distance from Christians because I know, and have heard of, many who were disgusting human beings. I am not just talking about the stuff non-Christians are always harping on about (the Spanish inquisition, the witchhunts, priests who prey on Children). I once read about a man that helped abuse a child to death. He later became a priest and I am sure that if his church was confronted about it they would act like it was the greatest turnaround since Saul of Tarsus became the Apostle Paul, if not an even better one. I don't even want to think about the possibility of these dreadful people going to heaven. Even though I have a loose grasp on Christianity, I hope God will punish them deapite them believing in Jesus.
Wow. Apparently, in your mind, there's no room for forgiveness. Only God knows if the heart of a man (or woman) has truly repented and changed.

And if that's good enough for God, that's good enough for me!
I had mentioned my enemies and I try not to think about them because it not only makes me angry at them but also at God who not allowed them to harm me and my family but also has rewarded them for their wickedness.
Maybe it's not so much that God 'rewarded' them for their wickedness. Maybe God's waiting for the right time and the right place...the right circumstances in which to humble them. While those people may have hurt you/your family, their wickedness hadn't yet risen to the height where God may bring them down.
I hope what I have said did not offend anyone. As for myself I think I will go onto some kind of mini Christianity if I do not leave it all together. While I can believe everything the Bible is true, I won't pray and will pay very little attention to the Bible itself. As of right now I don't want to think about any of it.
If anything, at this point in your life, it may be more to your (spiritual) advantage to get MORE into the Bible. The Bible has a wealth of wisdom...

...
which, unfortunately, many of us sorely lack.

Please, don't give up yet. K?
 
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Life can be a wild rollercoaster, and sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture. It's totally normal to feel angry and hurt by the challenges you've faced, and it's okay to take a step back from Christianity if that's what you need right now.

Remember, God loves you unconditionally, even in the midst of doubt and pain. You're not alone in your struggles, and it's okay to seek answers and find your own path. Take your time, and don't worry about what others think. Your relationship with God is personal, and it's important to find peace and healing in your own way.
 

thelord's_pearl

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Life can be a wild rollercoaster, and sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture. It's totally normal to feel angry and hurt by the challenges you've faced, and it's okay to take a step back from Christianity if that's what you need right now.

Remember, God loves you unconditionally, even in the midst of doubt and pain. You're not alone in your struggles, and it's okay to seek answers and find your own path. Take your time, and don't worry about what others think. Your relationship with God is personal, and it's important to find peace and healing in your own way.
we, as Christians, should never instruct another Christian to step back from Christianity since that is losing faith in God and God is the source of our life! (not saying this in a rude way). We should always be seeking and running after God and examining ourself and why God put us where we are.
 

ButterflyJones

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Do not give up, do not stop praying, that's what the devil wants. Spiritual attack, equals spiritual elevation. I am going to leave a prayer here. It is timeless, by the great TB Joshua. Just touch your screen and have faith and tell God to restore your soul and faith. Jesus is the one who gives us faith. We look to him for faith. Ask him to help your unbelieving heart and give you more faith. I know that you will surely testify soon.


Because He lives you will face tomorrow.

I love you and God loves you more.
God bless you tremendously
KDO
TD Joshua died years ago after a stroke. Maybe look into his history as a charlatan and conman.:(
 

ButterflyJones

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Please do not put a curse on yourself by spreading false information. TB Joshua did not die of stroke he was called to Glory just like Benson Idahosa. if you watch his last sermon you would know that God was calling him to come home. He is not a con man as I was delivered in his church as well and have seen the glory of God work through my life after I got my Deliverance.
No mortal delivered you. God did that.

As to the rest,no curse awaits me. It's on the record. I don't need to convince you.
 

Rita

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Please do not put a curse on yourself by spreading false information. TB Joshua did not die of stroke he was called to Glory just like Benson Idahosa. if you watch his last sermon you would know that God was calling him to come home. He is not a con man as I was delivered in his church as well and have seen the glory of God work through my life after I got my Deliverance.
To be honest it does state that he died two months after a stroke , which does mean that the stroke could have contributed to his death.
 

Rita

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Sorry @KDO but my response was to the fact that you called another member a liar for stating something.
The truth is that neither you, me or anyone else can state for sure what caused his death.
Now this thread is not about this man , so the discussion about him needs to go elsewhere on the forum.
 

BarneyFife

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Even though I have a very little reply to this, I want to say that this really spoke to me. Thank you.


I know people who work with them (and some of them are my neighbors who claim to be Christians) and it seems that they have not suffered the consequences of their actions. One thing that does help is knowing that God will probably correct them in judgement day even if it does not necessarily mean sending them to Hell.

I ly to this thread knowing I am probably going to be jumped on some more but I thought I would update.

After listening to the New Testament without hearing anything that can help I decided I am going to try thoroughly reading it. I am also going to read analysises of verses that might help to make sure. I couldn't be happy with any other religion and I am sure not about to become an atheist. I did start praying again because I want God to show me the truth about the matter.


If that means all I have to do is put God first and he will be willing to give me the gryphon, then nothing would be easier. I would be so filled with gratitude that I wouldn't be able to resist making him priority. I would even be able to look past everything he has allowed happen to me.

I think it might be my negative personality that is not allowing me to truly understand the possibility that God will bring it to life.
The Amplified Bible might be helpful to you.



It's so easy to give advice.

But, truthfully, things have to be worked out between individuals and God.
 
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JunChosen

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I think it might be my negative personality that is not allowing me to truly understand the possibility that God will bring it to life.
This life is only temporary compared to the eternity we will have with God. In John 16:33 Jesus said: "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

Further reading of encouragement is found in the story of "Lazarus and the Rich Man" in Luke Chapter 16.

Hope this helps.

To God Be The Glory
 

WalkInLight

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After years of trying to hold onto my faith I am ready to give up. I once had a beautiful relationship with God but many things made me question his love for me: a lifetime of poverty, an abusive relationship with my father, trauma, being isolated, people who treated me badly getting away with their abuses and living great lives, losing my stepchildren, and just struggling with life in general. I recently finished listening to an audio New Testament but could not find any verses that could help me believe that God would fulfill the last thing I was holding on for (that in Heaven he would create a gryphon that I often dream about). In the few prayers I have made in the past few years I asked God for answers. Why he didn't make me rich, why he didn't make me famous, why he didn't make me desirable, why my life has to be what it is and was.

Many people rely on the book of Job as an easy answer for our sufferings. I feel like I pose as a problem to the Christian community because I am proof that even if we hold on as Job did there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sure someone can say God is going to reward us in Heaven but the problem is that Heaven's riches are pretty common. For example, its riches are kind of pointless because at that point no one dies and any hypothetical wealth they can receive won't really do any good. On earth they could have used it for food, medical related expenses and other necessities.

I try to keep a distance from Christians because I know, and have heard of, many who were disgusting human beings. I am not just talking about the stuff non-Christians are always harping on about (the Spanish inquisition, the witchhunts, priests who prey on Children). I once read about a man that helped abuse a child to death. He later became a priest and I am sure that if his church was confronted about it they would act like it was the greatest turnaround since Saul of Tarsus became the Apostle Paul, if not an even better one. I don't even want to think about the possibility of these dreadful people going to heaven. Even though I have a loose grasp on Christianity, I hope God will punish them deapite them believing in Jesus.

I had mentioned my enemies and I try not to think about them because it not only makes me angry at them but also at God who not allowed them to harm me and my family but also has rewarded them for their wickedness.

I hope what I have said did not offend anyone. As for myself I think I will go onto some kind of mini Christianity if I do not leave it all together. While I can believe everything the Bible is true, I won't pray and will pay very little attention to the Bible itself. As of right now I don't want to think about any of it.
"trying to hold onto my faith" - appears to be talking about something valuable that has been lost.
Jesus's principle of life is about love and the gift of life itself. My experience of church goers is they have as many reasons as to go to church as there are people, and vary in their beliefs and practices greatly.

Love as a principle is despite evil and corruption, it loves and hopes. It is a paradox, that those who find it are free and those who do not have only the feeling of missing something but no idea what it is. Jesus described this as a treasure above anything else that redefines how we live and experience it.

Love also creates this dilemma, it takes hold of you and possess you, so even if you want to resolve the conflicts and walk away you cannot. Jesus talked about light, that His love is like seeing everything as it is, which once grasped cannot be unseen.

This world works on rank, on wealth, on position, on domination, but these all fade into nothing once love flows between people. It is like the germ in wheat, and the rest is just chaff which blows away in the wind. For me my family have learnt the meaning of love, sharing and caring, which the family I grew up in had not. We do not have wealth, but enough, and much more valuable we know each other.
God bless you