I wander about somethings

[CadyandZoe]

Hi!
I would like some advice and suggestion please. I am fairly new to Christianity, originally ai'm Arab so my upbringing was traditional and faithful. I could not confide in my mama about this decision (Jesus Christ as my Savior), it would break her heart and worsen the anxiety. Since Im raised like a little girl in many respects, I do have a lot to catch up in becoming independent. I am very grateful my family also aspire for me to get ahead in life. I want to do this as authentic and peaceful, because throughout my struggles were "why am not happy in my religion?" .. "is it because of religion or me? Maybe both" and other quarterlife problematic questions.

I am hoping my sincerity in the faith is true. I have learned what I could about Christianity online, what stands out to me is the verse we are "saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9)"

This has cause some anxiety. I do believe in the once saved, always saved.. It reassures me, as whehn I first heard about the Lord I was moved by Him very much. Later, I've had to renounce this faith due to external reasons but after some time I came back to Christ.
Sometimes now, ai second-guess myself, "is this temporary for me? Am I serious about my belief in Jesus?" I'm aware that after the pandemic I had a lot to reflect over, studies are held online and I do not have enough interactions or go out much.
I live among Muslims only and I have looked back but my want to return for Islam is not happening.. My things are also from former lifestyle and beliefs such as books, writings etc. In a way... I wish to have a Bible with me and not digital, but my pocket money is little and my family are in charge of financial aspect. I wonder if God wants me to have no other means except faith, for now.

There are times I tell myself, "you arent being serious about this, you will pray to Allah (5 daily) again" then I somehow do opposite and enjoy a Bible study, it gets better.

Other things I want to make note here:
I'm not water baptised. Churches are far away and I hardly travel far so chances of me to meet a Christian or church is slim, for now. I also don't have any Christian friend online who will advise and follow up my progress, please let me know if you're willing.. I dont have fb or instagram until recently, I'm not used to it.

Second-guessing myself comes and goes. Also because ai grew up without a dad or bro, so on discovering that I have Father ever since, it was amazing.. Now however, I wonder "is my faith only because what I lacked ai have found in Christianity for this?'.. I can reflect on the Lord, His Miracles such but I question is it just my mind entertaining this idea? As if there is a back-door to Islam in my heart.. Although listening or reading the Word though, none of these second-guesses arise much.

I poured my heart so I'm sorry for any nervous tone in my words and long post.. Please let me know any suggestion/advice or thoughts
Thank you

Cyann,
Blessings to you and your family.
Praise the Lord that he has found you.

The most important thing for you to know, at this point, is that our heavenly father hears the prayers of those he has chosen to be in his kingdom. So then, continue to pray as often as you like. At this point in your walk with Jesus Christ fill your prayers with thanksgiving. Thank him for saving you; thank him for finding you; thank him for your life. Constantly think of ways to thank him. Whatever you need for your walk in Christ will be supplied. Ask God to send you a Bible, written in your own language, believing that he will hear you. Be patient as you may need to wait awhile. But somehow he will get a Bible to you. Fill your heart with love for God, love for fellow Christians, love for your family and love for your neighbors.

Fill your heart with the love of Christ and fill your prayers with thanksgiving.

And remember, you are not alone.


With regard to doubts, the fact that you recognize them is a good thing.

 

[QuickFilly]

Believe God is better than your worst memory of your self. Trust you can be better than you think you are. And more beautiful than what you think you see in the mirror.
Because you are.
Made in the image and likeness.
And don't fear what you worship. Because that will only make you a masochist and weak.
See God in all things. Even the bad. Because every thing is there to teach you the next lesson God has in store.


And just remember. A blood donor saved your life over 2000 years ago. Respect that.
Respect others if they deserve respect. If they don't, respect they're asking you to teach them their next lesson. You'll intuit what that is when it arrives.

Help people.
Love yourself. Always.
Because before anything came to exist, God thought you were to die for.

 

[Daniel Veler]

If you believe faith is acknowledgment only you have missed it. If you examine the Old Testament scriptures you’ll see the word trust was used. One God, one trust. If you say you believe in the Lord and you say that is your faith in God you have missed the mark. The devils believe in God and have acknowledged Christ as the son of God. Do they believe? Sure they do. But they are condemned. Why? Because they don’t have the trust within them that comes from the Father. James was rebuking some who proclaimed they believed in God but James tells them their faith was dead. He compared them to the devils believing in God. They had no works to show their faith. This is not the works of the flesh but the works of the Holy Spirit. Which are joy, peace, the love of God in our heart, and trust that is given us as gifts from God. The is only one Faith, one Trust. It is a gift from God. All those that possess these gifts hear the Lord and his Truth. You do not need to ask people their opinions. God will reveal all truth to anyone who will ask him for understanding.