is doing sexual things with a boyfriend/girlfriend sin...

[Angelina]

You say that a person who has sex is married. What if the person is an under-aged female and a male is 50+ both christian and they are both consensual. Are married in the eyes of God? What about a male and female who are having sex under the age of 14, christian and they are consensual. Are they married in the eyes of God? I can go on....brother...

 

[Grailhunter]

Please show me scripture that backs up your theology. Thanks brother.

Scripture to back up what? Wedding requirement or sin?
You need to look that up for your own satisfaction to see if you can find a scripture that requires a wedding ceremony.

Now if you notice modern Christian weddings have Pagan rituals imbedded in them.
The story is a little long....
The Jews did not have a word for wed or wedding....you can look that up in the strong's.
All wedding ceremony customs come from Pagan sources.
When Pagans converted to Christianity (we call them Gentiles) they were believers in Christianity.....they came from different regions and they did not abandon all of their customs.....wedding ceremonies was one of them. The Gentiles took over the reins of Christianity pretty early on. Still I do not see the early Christians talking about ceremonies....the Ecumenical councils did not talk about them, then of course, did not require them. The Catholics did not require wedding ceremonies until the Protestant started requiring them.

So it looks like Christian weddings were not occurring....that is not what I believe....I do believe that Christians started having wedding ceremonies, but I can only prove that the first documented Christian wedding occurred in the 9th century.

 

[Angelina]

You say that a couple who has sex as a couple in a monogamous relationship is married. Define what you believe is an unmarried person?

 

[Grailhunter]

You say that a person who has sex is married. What if the person is an under-aged female and a male is 50+ both christian and they are both consensual. Are married in the eyes of God? What about a male and female who are having sex under the age of 14, christian and they are consensual. Are they married in the eyes of God? I can go on....brother...

LOL Quit trying to trip me up here.
Age requirements for marriage is not discussed in the Bible and we would not agree with them if they did.
Back then it was not uncommon for older men to take young ladies. And depending on the circumstances it was seen as a positive thing.

As it is now we do not look at it that way as Christians or society....age of consent. But then different countries have different ages of consent.

 

[Grailhunter]

You say that a couple who has sex as a couple in a monogamous relationship is married. Define what you believe is an unmarried person?

Well that is easy....biblically speaking....a person that has not had sex or a person that makes it a routine to have casual sex and no relationship. It is a big deal....sex is a serious thing. You have sex with someone and walk away and have sex with someone else...is it sexual immorality or is it adultery?

 

[Angelina]

I think the only example we have of an unmarried person is Jesus. WWJD

 

[Grailhunter]

I think the only example we have of an unmarried person is Jesus. WWJD

There ya go.

 

[Lambano]

Psst! @Grailhunter, @Angelina: The verse you're looking for is Exodus 22:16-17

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and sleeps with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins."

Premarital sex is just a property crime that the man has to pay for. You broke it, you bought it. If the father doesn't want to sell, you still have to pay, because now the merchandise is used and devalued. (This should make every woman's temper boil. I'm just being a troublemaker now.)

This is what we're supposed to emulate?

 

[Grailhunter]

Psst! @Grailhunter, @Angelina: The verse you're looking for is Exodus 22:16-17

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and sleeps with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins."

Premarital sex is just a property crime that the man has to pay for. You broke it, you bought it. If the father doesn't want to sell, you still have to pay, because now the merchandise is used and devalued. (This should make every woman's temper boil. I'm just being a troublemaker now.)

This is what we're supposed to emulate?

No no no LOL
We are not Jews....we are not going to sell our daughters into concubinage or have ten wives.
Put you are right either way...having sex with a lady and not taking her or adultery were both property crime....of violations.
The phrase is "take a wife" and it is pretty descriptive.
They had their ways but it is still hard to define the norm....if the lady was a virgin....you owed her father money.
The culture of the time was about father's making agreements on marriages and money changed hands.

 

[Angelina]

@Lambano In the OT this is the way it was. Even Joseph was going to quietly put Mary away because she was found with child before they were joined in the context of marriage. The question still remains though...today if marriage is considered as a monogamous sexual relationship between a man and a woman. What does an unmarried person look like?

 

[Angelina]

We have no idea whether this young lady who started the thread has a monogamous relationship with her boyfriend or not....this is just conjecture.

 

[Grailhunter]

You say that a couple who has sex as a couple in a monogamous relationship is married. Define what you believe is an unmarried person?

You might think that a requirement for having a wedding ceremony before sex would cut down on sin.
Well you can't commit adultery unless there is a marriage involved either way....LOL that a joke.

But most people are running on the belief that casual sex is a lesser sin. That casual sex is not binding.
But is it something that multiplies sin?
So if Christians understood that sex forms a marriage and is serious business....could that cause less sin?
It is what it is....we are not animals....we should not be having sex unless we are in love with the other person.

Like I said, I had a preacher explain to me if you have sex before you have a wedding....your marriage is damned and your children are damned. LOL

LOL If that were true....you better both run for the hills after having sex...because getting married would be that last thing you would want to do...LOL

 

[Angelina]

You might think that a requirement for having a wedding ceremony before sex would cut down on sin.
Well you can't commit adultery unless there is a marriage involved either way....LOL that a joke.

But most people are running on the belief that casual sex is a lesser sin. That casual sex is not binding.
But is it something that multiplies sin?
So if Christians understood that sex forms a marriage and is serious business....could that cause less sin?
It is what it is....we are not animals....we should not be having sex unless we are in love with the other person.

Like I said, I had a preacher explain to me if you have sex before you have a wedding....your marriage is damned and your children are damned. LOL

LOL If that were true....you better both run for the hills after having sex...because getting married would be that last thing you would want to do...LOL

Some people have sex because they enjoy it, not because they want a commitment with their partner. Sometimes it is easier financially to be in a partnership. It also can be beneficial in many ways but is this what God mean't when he siad that the two become one flesh? really? there is no commitment there.

 

[Angelina]

I think this may be a cultural/socio economic thing as well....pewreport.org says:
"As more U.S. adults are delaying marriage – or forgoing it altogether – the share who have ever lived with an unmarried partner has been on the rise. Amid these changes, most Americans find cohabitation acceptable, even for couples who don’t plan to get married, according to a new Pew Research Center survey. Even so, a narrow majority says society is better off if couples in long-term relationships eventually get married.

The survey also examines how adults who are married and those who are living with an unmarried partner are experiencing their relationships. It finds that married adults are more satisfied with their relationship and more trusting of their partners than those who are cohabiting."

 

[Angelina]

It may even be a worldwide thing....

 

[Grailhunter]

It may even be a worldwide thing....

Years ago they came out with a survey that married men lived longer.

 

[Angelina]

Years ago they came out with a survey that married men lived longer.

Interesting Indeed....

 

[Lambano]

@Lambano In the OT this is the way it was. Even Joseph was going to quietly put Mary away because she was found with child before they were joined in the context of marriage. The question still remains though...today if marriage is considered as a monogamous sexual relationship between a man and a woman. What does an unmarried person look like?

Hmm. I realize this is not a direct answer, but... My granddaughter and her fiancé have been living together for years, though they cannot legally claim "married filing jointly" on their US income tax returns. (A fact that will hurt them financially next April now that they're both out of school and employed.) My wife and I have deliberately chosen to treat them as a married couple, including putting them up in a single bedroom when they visit us. I guess we show what we believe by what we do.

I see their commitment to one another reflected in the sacrifices they've made for each other. I especially have seen where he has put her needs before his own. My granddaughter has chosen a remarkable young man. Are they married in the eyes of God? God alone knows that. God knows their hearts.

 

[farouk]

What does the bible say about fornication?

Matthew 15:18-20a
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. 19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. 20 These are the things which defile a man...

Ephesians 5:2-3 NKJV
2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;

Galatians 5:19 NKJV
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,

@Angelina Relevant verses there, indeed......

 

[Angelina]

Hmm. I realize this is not a direct answer, but... My granddaughter and her fiancé have been living together for years, though they cannot legally claim "married filing jointly" on their US income tax returns. (A fact that will hurt them financially next April now that they're both out of school and employed.) My wife and I have deliberately chosen to treat them as a married couple, including putting them up in a single bedroom when they visit us. I guess we show what we believe by what we do.

I see their commitment to one another reflected in the sacrifices they've made for each other. I especially have seen where he has put her needs before his own. My granddaughter has chosen a remarkable young man. Are they married in the eyes of God? God alone knows that. God knows their hearts.

@Lambano - Well said. Indeed he does know their hearts...If you were a young lady as I am believing the O/P is... who has a BF Perhaps she is living at home with her parents, IDK. Is this going to be considered as a married if they start touching one another etc as she had previously posted?