is doing sexual things with a boyfriend/girlfriend sin...

[Dropship]

Incidentally atheist Richard Dawkins has been married 3 times (2 divorces and a separation), I wonder if he got married in a church, and what the story is behind his splits?
Let me guess-
WIFE- "Dicky darling, talk romantic to me"
DAWKINS- "Sperm cells form during the process known as spermatogenesis, which in amniotes (reptiles and mammals) takes place in the seminiferous tubules of the testes. This process involves the production of several successive sperm cell precursors, starting with spermatogonia, which differentiate into spermatocytes...."
WIFE - "Oh please shut the **** up!"

 

[Episkopos]

@thelord's_pearl Are you the Lord's pearl, or are you your own pearl?

To whom do you belong... even your physical body? Is it yours to do with as you see fit?

"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" I Cor 6:19

There really needs to be a clear line drawn between what happens outside of marriage and within marriage but who is able correctly to draw it?

About 2 years ago I witnessed something very good but nearly unbelievable in these days in which we live.

A Christian young man who I have known for many years works as a handyman at the apartment complex where I live with my wife. He got married. Nothing new in that but... he and his new young wife had been attending church service together for a number of years and had been engaged for more than a year. By mutual agreement they had never even kissed prior to marriage much less indulged in more intimate things.

They kissed each other for the first time in their lives immediately after they said their final vows and the minister had pronounced them married.

Even in my own youth when things were very much more conservative in such things, I had never seen nor heard of such an actual example of abstinence. For two people who already serving God when they decide to get married would that be such a bad thing? For how many serving God is it a likely thing? Answer these things to and for yourself alone! Not to or for me or any readers of this thread!

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" Heb 13:4

But prior to the marriage? What does God see in your heart? What do you see in your heart?

"O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps" Jerem 10:23

Who is our Director when we have truly given our hearts to God? Who should be?

"Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.
They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways.
Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently.
O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!
Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments." Psalm 119:2-6

Some of our children (not all) also made a commitment to not kiss until their wedding day. Our youngest son is about to be married to a wonderful lady...and they have made that commitment. They have been engaged now for over a year and are to be married next month. They have known each other for 5 years. Their commitment held true and continues to do so.

We have 8 children and more than half of them (4 out of 7) were able to make that commitment and hold to it. We have one remaining single daughter. With the witness she sees in her older siblings she too is ready to make such a commitment...when she finds her future husband!

 

[thelord's_pearl]

hi, I'm back. I was not talking about "sex/intercourse", I was curious if doing "sexual things" with a boyfriend/girlfriend is sin or not. clarification.

 

[Dropship]

hi, I'm back. I was not talking about "sex/intercourse", I was curious if doing "sexual things" with a boyfriend/girlfriend is sin or not. clarification.

I think kissing and cuddling would be fine, mind you an old girlfriend didn't seem to think so because after we kissed she'd wipe her lips with the back of her hand as if she'd been snogging the swamp creature from the X-Files..

 

[amadeus]

Some of our children (not all) also made a commitment to not kiss until their wedding day. Our youngest son is about to be married to a wonderful lady...and they have made that commitment. They have been engaged now for over a year and are to be married next month. They have known each other for 5 years. Their commitment held true and continues to do so.

We have 8 children and more than half of them (4 out of 7) were able to make that commitment and hold to it. We have one remaining single daughter. With the witness she sees in her older siblings she too is ready to make such a commitment...when she finds her future husband!

Give God the glory!

 

[farouk]

hi, I'm back. I was not talking about "sex/intercourse", I was curious if doing "sexual things" with a boyfriend/girlfriend is sin or not. clarification.

Hi @thelord's_pearl As regards your clarification, for a number of pages posters evidently thought that what you mean was evidently something different.

 

[bbyrd009]

Ok if you say so then I will give it a chance that you did not intend to. I think though people shouldn't get touchy with subjects. They should just deal with it head-on and openly discuss topics that are in their mind

in that case i would suggest seeing that intercourse is what likely constitutes or “consummates” a marriage, and i personally wouldnt worry so much about getting a license for it, like worldly Christians seem so eager to do. I think this would cause ppl to be a lot more selective about their choice, for one thing.

hi, I'm back. I was not talking about "sex/intercourse", I was curious if doing "sexual things" with a boyfriend/girlfriend is sin or not. clarification.

well, someone will be condemning of you no matter what you do in this life, i guess

 

[simonpeter]

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Consider the other person's needs and meet his needs.

 

[farouk]

Pearl, Farouk: I think a young lady in that situation should herself have condoms ready. I know a young lady who regrets not having taken steps to protect herself.

@Lambano @Pearl Well, I think that a single Christian young lady's purse (you guys in the UK say handbag) should probably and ideally contain for example a New Testament, maybe lipstick, credit card holder, mirror, earring caddy, etc.; but ideally a pack of condoms would be rather premature, to say the least.

Among young ppl, I do think that prayer and Scripture reading are by far the best and proven birth control means.

 

[DuckieLady]

@Lambano @Pearl Well, I think that a single Christian young lady's purse (you guys in the say handbag) should probably and ideally contain for example a New Testament, maybe lipstick, credit card holder, mirror, earring caddy, etc.; but ideally a pack of condoms would be rather premature, to say the least.

Among young ppl, I do think that prayer and Scripture reading are by far the best and proven birth control means.

I was raised Christian with very good role models.

I still got pregnant at 17. That's one of those things that I feel like people can't really judge with clarity unless they have been in that place, and most of the men here have never been teen mothers.

And also no matter how Christian the home is, the fact of the matter and loving in the real world, a lot of the women here have been sexually abused and sometimes that changes your choices during stages of maturity.

People react to life differently and both young women and men are impressionable. I'm not saying that Bible and prayer are not good enough, but a person's own will power is certainly not good enough and another person's standards and expectations will certainly not make it so.

And, really, the only people who can be the proper judges of celibacy in youth are the ones who waited themselves.

And it's 2022 so mostly nobody here

 

[Jane_Doe22]

I was raised Christian with very good role models.

I still got pregnant at 17. That's one of those things that I feel like people can't really judge with clarity unless they have been in that place, and most of the men here have never been teen mothers.

And also no matter how Christian the home is, the fact of the matter and loving in the real world, a lot of the women here have been sexually abused and sometimes that changes your choices during stages of maturity.

People react to life differently and both young women and men are impressionable. I'm not saying that Bible and prayer are not good enough, but a person's own will power is certainly not good enough and another person's standards and expectations will certainly not make it so.

And, really, the only people who can be the proper judges of celibacy in youth are the ones who waited themselves.

And it's 2022 so mostly nobody here

Importantly: I consider sexually abuse and chastity to be two VERY different things. A sexually abused person is a victim and exploited by someone else- plain and simple.

Versus chastity is how you choose to conduct yourself. There must be free will there.

 

[DuckieLady]

Importantly: I consider sexually abuse and chastity to be two VERY different things. A sexually abused person is a victim and exploited by someone else- plain and simple.

Versus chastity is how you choose to conduct yourself. There must be free will there.

There is, but hypersexuality is often a consequence of abuse - why? Usually, because it allows the victim to feel in control, and young people are not always mature enough to understand the psychology of their own behavior, let alone how to control it properly.

 

[farouk]

I was raised Christian with very good role models.

I still got pregnant at 17. That's one of those things that I feel like people can't really judge with clarity unless they have been in that place, and most of the men here have never been teen mothers.

And also no matter how Christian the home is, the fact of the matter and loving in the real world, a lot of the women here have been sexually abused and sometimes that changes your choices during stages of maturity.

People react to life differently and both young women and men are impressionable. I'm not saying that Bible and prayer are not good enough, but a person's own will power is certainly not good enough and another person's standards and expectations will certainly not make it so.

And, really, the only people who can be the proper judges of celibacy in youth are the ones who waited themselves.

And it's 2022 so mostly nobody here

@LadyofFireandLace I know what you are saying and it's wonderful how according to your testimony which you have posted in different aspects elsewhere how the Lord has blessed you and guided you over the years subsequently.

I guess that my point was thar NT, credit card, lipstick, earring holder, etc., are things that ordinarily might be found in a Christian young lady's purse; but that condoms would not be an ordinarily expected item.

 

[farouk]

There is, but hypersexuality is often a consequence of abuse - why? Usually, because it allows the victim to feel in control, and young people are not always mature enough to understand the psychology of their own behavior, let alone how to control it properly.

@LadyofFireandLace The term nymphomania has sometimes been used in the past, although it can sound a bit pejorative also.

One dictionary illustration as to what nymphomania is or is not, is: "The essence of her character was not nymphomania but a longing to be loved."

 

[DuckieLady]

I guess that my point was thar NT, credit card, lipstick, earring holder, etc., are things that ordinarily might be found in a Christian young lady's purse; but that condoms would not be an ordinarily expected item

Probably not, but probably should be.

I was put on birth control for hormonal acne as a teenager.

It wasn't fully explained to me that antibiotics would make birth control ineffective. I had an ear infection at the time, so I ended up pregnant.

I didn't intend to use it as a way to not get pregnant, but was recently sexually abused by a family member who I deeply trusted and was convinced that was the only thing men wanted and what I needed to do in order to be loved.

Obviously being older I know that's not true, but I understand how difficult it is being young and I just think, there's an enormous chance someone will mess up and the risks can be less.

 

[DuckieLady]

Something I would ask most of the people here is, why are we expecting teenagers to have better self control than most adults do?

We even use parental control blocks on their phones for a reason

It's because we don't trust them to have self control

***LOGIC***

 

[Jane_Doe22]

Something I would ask most of the people here is, why are we expecting teenagers to have better self control than most adults do?

We even use parental control blocks on their phones for a reason

It's because we don't trust them to have self control

***LOGIC***

I’m going to point out that the principle of chastity is the same at any age. Same expectations.

Those persons that haven’t been taught the Lord’s way or worse been taught the opposite like via abuse: I do not judge. Not that my judgment matters anyways.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

Yes I find there are a lot of hypocrities here. After 22 pages, they still haven't answered a simple question. Is doing sexual things *not talking about sexual intercourse* with a girlfriend/boyfriend a sin? I think not, but they just want to say it is a sin, even though most likely they did it themselves at an early age. They're no role models. I don't know anyone who hasn't done sexual things with they're boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

[farouk]

hi, I'm back. I was not talking about "sex/intercourse", I was curious if doing "sexual things" with a boyfriend/girlfriend is sin or not. clarification.

Hi @thelord's_pearl I guess ppl thought you meant what you say now that you didn't mean....

 

[quietthinker]

Yes I find there are a lot of hypocrities here. After 22 pages, they still haven't answered a simple question. Is doing sexual things *not talking about sexual intercourse* with a girlfriend/boyfriend a sin? I think not, but they just want to say it is a sin, even though most likely they did it themselves at an early age. They're no role models. I don't know anyone who hasn't done sexual things with they're boyfriend/girlfriend.

I've never done sexual things .....see how I shine