Jokes, fun and comedy
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Bad visual, bad, bad.
ButterflyJones
Well-Known Member
Brakelite
Well-Known Member
Typical life cycle…for some.
Born without hair, without teeth, sleeps but awake every few hours, urinates every few hours, doesn’t remember, continuously aging…
Aging cycle, hair thins/balding, teeth loosen falls out, sleeps but awake every few hours, urinates every few hours, memory fails…dies.
Born the Second time is so much better.
Born without hair, without teeth, sleeps but awake every few hours, urinates every few hours, doesn’t remember, continuously aging…
Aging cycle, hair thins/balding, teeth loosen falls out, sleeps but awake every few hours, urinates every few hours, memory fails…dies.
Born the Second time is so much better.
So the Dr says, “how did you sleep last night Mr. Smith” ?
Mr. Smith says, “Man Dr, I slept like a baby”.
Dr says “Really”? “You woke up every two hours crying and wet your pants”?
Mr. Smith says, “Man Dr, I slept like a baby”.
Dr says “Really”? “You woke up every two hours crying and wet your pants”?
ButterflyJones
Well-Known Member
ButterflyJones
Well-Known Member
St. SteVen
Well-Known Member
Yes, pointless. - LOL
I think I heard that one. Is this it?
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He worked it out with a pencil.
St. SteVen
Well-Known Member
St. SteVen
Well-Known Member
A Priest, Pastor, and Rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, "What will you have to drink?"
The rabbit says, "I don't know; I'm only here because of autocorrect."
ButterflyJones
Well-Known Member
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that
they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand
is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? "
Paul Merton, English comedian
Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last
thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house
would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand
is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? "
Paul Merton, English comedian
Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last
thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house
would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
St. SteVen
Well-Known Member
I had a dream last night that I went to heaven. (that's how I knew it was a dream) - LOL
Anyway, to my surprise, they put me to work right away.
There I was, flipping burgers on a grill. ???
To my amazement Jesus walks up to my grill with his plate.
Nervously, I asked him how he would like his burger.
He gave me a puzzled look and replied,
"Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Anyway, to my surprise, they put me to work right away.
There I was, flipping burgers on a grill. ???
To my amazement Jesus walks up to my grill with his plate.
Nervously, I asked him how he would like his burger.
He gave me a puzzled look and replied,
"Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Limits ~
No matter how far you push the envelope, it will always be stationery.
No matter how far you push the envelope, it will always be stationery.
Ever wondered what are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, all the others are weak days.
Ever hear the song; “I’m my own grandpa” ?
The lyrics are funny.
Ever hear of a musician named Bill Wyman?
He was a band member of The Rolling Stones. His marriages, wives, son, could be another song (and factual) comparable to “I’m my own grandpa”. Lol weird.
The lyrics are funny.
Ever hear of a musician named Bill Wyman?
He was a band member of The Rolling Stones. His marriages, wives, son, could be another song (and factual) comparable to “I’m my own grandpa”. Lol weird.
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