Men, would you have problems being with someone who looks like a Mennonite?

[DuckieLady]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

Edit: I explained it anyway in #11.

 

[saintiaint]

Since it won't affect my world directly, I can't say I care at all.
How women dress is their business. I look border line homeless when I go to the supermarket. But I'm not homeless.
I think my partner would need to dress well on some occasions, not all.

 

[DuckieLady]

Since it won't affect my world directly, I can't say I care at all.
How women dress is their business. I look border line homeless when I go to the supermarket. But I'm not homeless.
I think my partner would need to dress well on some occasions, not all.

I forgot that people go places for special occasions sometimes. Maybe someday I will invest in a nicer covering and more polished pretty granny boots. cause these ones all a bit messed up right now cause I get work done and I bought the cheapest ones. no regratz

 

[Wrangler]

Not at all. Don't let your heart be troubled.

Sad commentary about our society that so many women can dress like ladies of the night and that is AOK but dress extra conservatively and what is wrong with you. I swear our world has its moral poles reversed.

 

[Tone]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

That's awesome! This is how the ladies in my congregation dress. I think it's a great service to us art appraising men (sometimes we can over appraise and many women don't make it any easier with the in fashion of the day).

 

[Ferris Bueller]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

Personally, it does not bother me in the least. Peter nailed it when he said this......

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4​

If a man can't see the truth in this he's not the right man for a righteous woman.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way

Why not? I think I know, and they are good reasons.

And by the way, I've been wanting to ask you what instrument that is that you are holding?

 

[jaybird]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

i think you are really pretty, please dont change a thing.

 

[DuckieLady]

Why not? I think I know, and they are good reasons.

And by the way, I've been wanting to ask you what instrument that is that you are holding?

maybe later tonight i will explain it a little bit. that is a 10-string lyre!

 

[Ferris Bueller]

maybe later tonight i will explain it a little bit.

I will be interested to know.

that is a 10-string lyre!

Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Psalm 33:2

 

[DuckieLady]

I will be interested to know.


Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Psalm 33:2

I read one just like that in Psalm 92 the other day!

I have time really quick, so I'll copy/paste something I already wrote on here for the covering... It's faster.

This took like four years of studying to be fully convinced. In the Greek, too.



The Covering

"Covering does not affect a woman's salvation. Women only stopped covering in the last 150 years as feminism progressed. It was a normal thing to do and the veils shrunk until they disappeared- and the giant Easter bonnets that replaced them disappeared. It isn't taught in a lot of churches and so much that people think it's for the purpose of humility.

It's not, it's a sign to the angels (1 Cor 11:10) which eliminates it being cultural or for a time of being obedience to God's natural order (man over the woman, Christ over head of man) when she prays or prophesies. Man is God's glory, woman is man's glory, and her covering prevents disgracing her head (meaning the men - or personally, for herself, husband/father/etc, v. 5), by man's glory being exalted in the presence of the king. Men, like Moses, uncovered. Women cover.

A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. - 1 Cor 11:7

If you believe that the woman's hair is her crown of glory, then by covering her head she willingly does what the fallen angels would not.

Most women will not be taught about it in churches today and it takes getting into the Greek to actually understand it. I can't read it any other way now. It's too early to explain more, but I can answer if anyone has questions.

We can't shame women for these things.

Woman covered, woman uncovered - the covering does not make the woman. Knowledge and obedience of the truth and faith in Christ makes the woman. Ps 68:11 "The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng"

The Dresses

Not really scripturally based, but the motive is modesty. I don't think it's a sin to wear pants. However, I do think pants do accentuate too much, and so the goal is to "hide more" and to be pure for my future husband (should that happen) and in order to not cause another man to stumble (Matt 5:28), or to take a husband's eye away from his wife. It also has other benefits, especially in eliminating the feeling of competition between sisters within the church, and women don't feel intimidated and wondering "IS MY HUSBAND CHECKING HER OUT?!" The answer is probably not.

The goal in the Christian life for the woman should be to present herself with beauty through holiness, purity, quietness, gentleness with respect to herself and to others - as in the scripture you quoted, and not by worldly fashions, flashiness, and excessiveness or a big sign saying "LOOK AT ME."

“For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” - Matthew 23:12

And to be honest, both men and women treat me differently with more respect. I do not get cat-called ever anymore and strangers treat me very kindly. I do not usually attract negative attention and that is not the kind I want in the first place- if I want someone to look at me I want someone to love my inner qualities and see me, so that throws out a whole bunch of harassment that I no longer have to put up with. They already know not to try.

While not married, and knowing I am waiting, I try to keep Proverbs 31:11 in mind for the future, should it come, but also as a form of character that MUST fall in place, regardless:

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he lacks nothing of value. "

Because it's never too early and these things take a lifetime of practice anyway, especially until you begin to know it in your heart, and it takes a while before you start to feel the benefits of being obedience to God's will for his design.

"....but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

 

[Enoch111]

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

Men should be delighted to make your acquaintance. If not, they are not worth bothering with. Don't compromise your beliefs and principles.

 

[amadeus]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

When we were first married my wife only owned pants. When she asked me what I liked, I told her the truth and she bought some skirts and dresses for me. When we both met the Lord about 4 years later she went to very long skirts/dresses and stopped cutting her hair short. To this day she always wears long skirts or dresses outside our home. She only trims the split ends of her hair. We are an old fashioned couple for certain. I have not worn short pants or short-sleeved shirts since I can remember. I don't own any and would feel uncomfortable with bare arms or legs in public. My wife wears tops with half or 3/4 length sleeves. I guess some people would call us conservative dressers.

 

[FHII]

If that's you in your avatar, I think you are very pretty!

Its a tough question to answer. I have been married for almost 20 years and my wife dresses pretty conservatively, although maybe not at the same level as a Mennonite. I got married at 33 or so, and was figuring out that character and substance are truly important when choosing a partner. Even before then, I had dated women who weren't flashy/sexy dressers.

To be honest, it may be harder to get a man's attention, especially with how liberal society is today. But a man who is worthwhile can see inner beauty as well as outer beauty no matter how its dressed. One key thing is the smile... Not just with your lips, but with your eyes, cheeks and posture. Doesn't matter what you are wearing, if you have makeup on or any of that. A friendly and genuine smile makes a profound impression. Follow that up with a realness and down to earth attitude and manner and they won't be looking at your attire, they will be looking at you.

No, not all men are that way. But there are still guys like that out there.

My goodness! I don't know if that helps or not. I hope I didn't misjudge what you were asking.

 

[DuckieLady]

When we were first married my wife only owned pants. When she asked me what I liked, I told her the truth and she bought some skirts and dresses for me. When we both met the Lord about 4 years later she went to very long skirts/dresses and stopped cutting her hair short. To this day she always wears long skirts or dresses outside our home. She only trims the split ends of her hair. We are an old fashioned couple for certain. I have not worn short pants or short-sleeved shirts since I can remember. I don't own any and would feel uncomfortable with bare arms or legs in public. My wife wears tops with half or 3/4 length sleeves. I guess some people would call us conservative dressers.

very interesting! you normally don't hear about men and modesty, but in exodus 28:42, anything above the knee for men was considered "nakedness." I get uncomfortable around topless men in summer. As bad as my dad mowing the lawn in Birkenstocks and socks!

 

[quietthinker]

What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

Nope....what would bother me though is the insistence of drawing attention to oneself by clothing worn irrespective of what the justification was.

 

[Paul Christensen]

I'm feeling pretty insecure today and sometimes I'm painfully aware that as an anabaptist that I look pretty Amish/Mennonite. (Prayer covering/long dresses/not super flashy/etc)

I am not looking to change that and don't want to get into the details about why some of us dress that way, but I do want to know what the outside perspective is. It's just something I'm wrestling with/feeling heavily insecure about as far as outside judgments, but also have to stick to my convictions.

I blame it as being a reason for some things in my life at times. What do you think? Would it bother a man/would it not? Curious.

The outward appearance of a person means little to God. What is important to Him is what is in our hearts. If you have a love for Christ in your heart and a willingness to follow Him, then you have nothing to fear about how you look to others.

 

[quietthinker]

I met some Mennonites in the markets in Belize. Their dress made them stand out like a sore thumb (not that they were sore thumbs) I was wearing red shorts which I had just acquired from a thrift shop....the only shorts I could find which reasonably fitted with velcro closable side pockets. It was considerably more comfortable than wearing my riding gear in the sweltering heat (I was travelling by motorcycle)
Anyway, I got chatting with the guys about their story...clothes and all. They told me they would never wear what I was wearing because it drew too much attention.....wow, I thought, I blend into the colourful crowd and they stand out.

I thought it was interesting that they were oblivious to or in denial of the the fact that they drew attention to themselves even while saying it's the last thing they'd do.
The reality as I saw it was they were stuck in the fashion of 150 yrs ago and justified it using scripture. Their dress code was more important than the claims they made.

Was it any different to the southern states justifying their ownership of slaves .....and getting that justification from scripture....blind to the obvious?

 

[quietthinker]

The outward appearance of a person means little to God.

I think dressing or behaving provocatively takes a road that few foresee.

 

[DuckieLady]

I met some Mennonites in the markets in Belize. Their dress made them stand out like a sore thumb (not that they were sore thumbs) I was wearing red shorts which I had just acquired from a thrift shop....the only shorts I could find which reasonably fitted with velcro closable side pockets. It was considerably more comfortable than wearing my riding gear in the sweltering heat (I was travelling by motorcycle)
Anyway, I got chatting with the guys about their story...clothes and all. They told me they would never wear what I was wearing because it drew too much attention.....wow, I thought, I blend into the colourful crowd and they stand out.

I thought it was interesting that they were oblivious to or in denial of the the fact that they drew attention to themselves even while saying it's the last thing they'd do.
The reality as I saw it was they were stuck in the fashion of 150 yrs ago and justified it using scripture. Their dress code was more important than the claims they made.

Was it any different to the southern states justifying their ownership of slaves .....and getting that justification from scripture....blind to the obvious?

There isn't any denying that it's more noticeable, but you have to remember that Amish/Mennonites are usually pretty secluded in their own communities so to them they aren't sticking out at all. The plain people are weird to them. Everyone in their community likely looks the same and limited to a particular dress pattern, but limited to solid colors and/or floral prints. Modesty in their communities aren't limited to the women only. The men don't wear buttons because it would be too easy to accidentally unbutton the top few buttons for comfort, or because of flashiness. There are other anabaptist/Mennonite churches who look exactly the same as everyone else.

I am anabaptist, but neither Mennonite or Amish - they are just other types of anabaptist. I explained the reasons for the way I dress in #11. There is a major difference between intentionally flashing a sign to the world and trying to draw attention or the impression of success through clothing, possessions, or whatever, and unintentionally drawing attention because you chose to live a modest life and Jesus is in it and has every part of your life - and if you do and people notice that, then I don't really see the problem.

I'm a big obnoxious, flashing light that can't be ignored - people notice it. That's fine. Either people will get offended (almost never), or in my experience, people will feel way WAY more comfortable discussing the gospel with you, sharing history, asking questions, needing advice, wanting to know more, opening their hearts up to something that they shut out for one reason or another long, long ago. That is not a problem in my eyes. That is a benefit.

"I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own."

Well. Okay then. If other people see it and they are more comfortable, then cool.

Edit: After writing the obnoxious light thing, brings to mind what Jesus said, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."