Willie, you are not at all alone in your difficulties. Life is tough.
After being kicked out of my home to celebrate my 16th birthday, I was left to fend for myself all alone on the streets of Toronto as a 'street kid'. Somehow, in the limitations of that social setting, I found a church, and found the Lord.
I have a clear recollection of the day in Sept 1962, asking God for HIS choice of career and spouse for me. As a mechanic, my desire was to work for an insurance company. Turned down by the 80 companies I applied to God intervened. It was on Christmas weekend when I went out to my car in -20 degree weather to listen to the service from my church back in Toronto. My car, being an English Austin which was not designed to operate in Canadian winters, only got a couple of blocks before it died. Before I could get it restarted, I was rear ended by the only other vehicle on the road that cold Christmas morning.
An unpleasant incident, but the start of God's plan for me.
Unable to get the accident claim settled, I went to the head office of the insurance company responsible for settlement of the claim. Having accomplished settlement of the claim, the claims manager called me back as I was leaving, "Have you ever considered working for an insurance company??" Wow! God in action again. This was the most reputable company in the industry!
A few months later, as I started my new job, the first thing my new boss did, was to take me to an entirely different department to meet someone special, the wife God had chosen for me. I dated her, and three weeks later, we were engaged to be married. As my wife and I discussed in later years, because she had never had any kind of connection whatsover with my boss. I can only interpret that as the hand of God again at work!
She wasn't even a Christian when I met her. When I explained the Gospel message to her, she exclaimed "Wow, that is what I have been looking for my entire life! It wasn't a conversion of mere convenience. She moved on to help create Christian Women's Club in our community, of which she served a term as president. But from that group, she created a 'neighborhood' Bible study group, who she led for 35 years.
God provides in according to His perfect will. And His perfect will is that husband and wife become unified as one being. I have been through that, and under God, we eventually became ONE unified being in accordance with God's plan for us.