Brother, I am so sorry that you lost your Dad like that.
My Dad also took his life. He was a strong man physically and mentally all his life. He served aboard the H.M.S. Illustrious, a British Navy aircraft carrier, which was heavy bombed and torpedoed all through WWII.
He had hands as hard as iron, and he was the most fortified mental person I ever knew. Just as solid as a rock brother.
Dad broke after Mum died.
He just could not even fathom living without his best friend. They never had harsh words between them in all my life.
Once Mum was gone, Dad had no reason for living.
To top off that heart break, my sister actually conned him out of his life savings, over $150,000! That's the very least we know he had. I know he also had many more tens of thousands, which he was planning on splitting between my two sisters and brother before he lost Mum. He told me he wanted to give us that money, and we were to do whatever we wanted with it. I actually tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn't listening to any of that.
One early morning, somewhere between midnight and 1 am, as close as we can figure, dad left his home and walked through seven inches of snow, down the street to the frozen lake.
There are so many huge holes exposed where ice fishermen would neglect to fill holes up with pine trees when they moved to another location. My family also live on the lake.
There was the largest search and rescue effort ever in our region's history, out searching for Dad. I knew exactly where he was. He told me that if Mum was to pass before he did, that he would just walk out into the lake. Of course I scolded him, but when police asked me where I thought he was, that's exactly what I told them.
My evil sister actually spent most of his money, while he was missing - on the bottom of that frozen lake! How's that for evil?
Dad washed ashore not too far up the lake from our house that spring.
I was devastated and I was so angry at God, and I did some extremely stupid things in the few months after he washed ashore.
I won't detail them here.
God was so patient with me, and eventually went from violent brain dead angry man, to humble, God fearing man.
Isn't it so perplexing how Christians blame God for things that satan, or life in general are actually responsible for?
We seem to think God is here to serve us, when it's actually supposed to be the other way around.
It's almost as if we believe God is in Heaven saying "hey, let's make a deal" when in reality, God is in Heaven saying "This
IS the deal!"
Anyway.
Thank you for the post brother.
John
Angelina said:
Hey thomas,
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. It must have been devastating. Praise be to God! who picked you up out of the mire and made you his son forever!
Shalom Achi!
Hello Angelina.
I sent you a private message.
John