Not Allowing Kids to Get Gifts at Christmas - - It's Wrong

[renewedfaith1964]

I have an adult nephew (35 years old) who is married, with two daughters (ages 9 and 7). A few years ago his church announced that it was wrong to exchange gifts at Christmas. Claimed it took away from the true meaning of Christmas. As such, his girls no longer get gifts at Christmas. I feel really bad for them. This guy has a good heart, but is making a huge mistake. Your kids only get one childhood. I feel bad because one day he'll wake up and realize that it was a mistake to rob these kids of Christmas.

I need some advice. Should I talk to the guy and try to change his mind? If so, what should I say?

 

[tom55]

The key words I read are "adult......who is married", "has a good heart".

He is an adult who has a spouse to help him decide how they want to raise their children. Option #1: If you feel he has a good heart then trust THEIR decision on how to raise their children. You shouldn't say anything because they are not doing any harm to their children.

Option #2: Buy the gifts for the children so that you can promote your idea of what Christmas should be about. Unless they have asked that no gifts be given to their children.

Option #3: If you are close enough to your nephew that you feel comfortable talking to him and his spouse about your feelings without being preachy, then go for it. Don't be disappointed if you can't change their mind. Tell him some of a child's most favorite memories are waking up on Christmas morning to open gifts. It teaches them the value of giving and reminds us of the gifts that were presented to Mary and Joseph at the birth of Jesus. Tell him as the gifts are being opened and his children say thank you to him he can tell his children they deserve it because they earned it by........(fill in the blank).

I still buy my children (ages 15-24) Christmas gifts. But getting/giving gifts is not what Christmas is about and I have discussed that with them. I won't have that discussion with my grandchildren. I will just buy them gifts

I would love to hear back from you on what you decide to do.

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

I definitely hear your passion. My boys, 10 and 5, get so excited for Christmas that we've taken to allowing one gift to be opened on Christmas Eve just to take a little edge off. The meaning of Christmas really doesn't get through on Christmas day, but rather in the weeks leading up to it and my kids are well versed in the Christmas story and more importantly why Jesus came to earth. It's not difficult to convey this meaning and children love stories so none of it's lost on them. But to take away the gift giving is just cruel and you should remind your nephew that associating pain, loss, and deprivation with the Christmas story may cause them to resent the story which is the opposite of his intentions.

You should give your nephew the following recommendation. Jehovah Witnesses don't appraise one day over another, but the gifts are given anyway, just on a different day. Maybe he'll consider gift exchanges on a day that's not Christmas but close to it, so that Christmas is devoted to its religious meaning, but the kids know that gifts are just around the corner. You might remind him that even Jesus said that parents know how to give good gifts to their children (Mt 7:11). See if he's open to this modification.

 

[tom55]

Vale of tears refers to Matthew 7:11, however, if we read further (Matthew 7:12) you get the full context of the scripture. 'Do to others that you would have them do to you'. So if your nephew is wanting to teach his kids that gift giving is not important at Christmas time then he should not expect any in return.

 

[mjrhealth]

What has christmas got to do with Jesus anyway, its just another man made tardition that has being commercialized, and has nothing to do with God. i dont do christmas not in years, now i have a grand daughter i will buy her presents because i can, give a stuff if its christmas .

In all His love

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

What's a tardition?

 

[FHII]

First, I don't believe in Christmas. It's not his birthday, and everyone knows it. They just justify a feel good holiday in his name.

Second, honor their beliefs. Despite the fact that it is your nephew, that ain't your family. It's his family. Sorry, but that's the bottom line.

tardition.... LOL!!!!

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

Did you know that the 66 books in the Protestant Bible is a "man made tradition?" The Bible itself never says what books are in it, but Protestants accept the traditions of men in this instance.

 

[FHII]

Wow. You're wound a little tight. Now I understand that my post hit its intended target, you.

Well, my doctrine is tight... Line upon line, precept upon precept, upon EVERY Word of God. No shadow of variance.... so thank you for the compliment.


Maybe Christmas is just one example of how you expurgate joy from your life.

I have joy unspeakable, and it ain't from a lie about when Jesus was born... Part of that joy unspeakable is John 4:24.


The only "bad form, old man" reference I can recall is from that old Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams movie "Hook" based on the Peter Pan stories.

Oh come on! This is too easy! Ok.... That's because you are living in Neverneverland and I live in heavenly places! Look in the Bible for the old man....



Oh and uncles have their input in family issues too. You want him to leave it alone because you hate Christmas too, being born with a heart 3 sizes too small. Not only that, you're on an anti Christmas crusade. I bet you even have green fur and yellow teeth.

Obviously, you also get your doctrine from the Grinch who stole Christmas.... Great place to get your doctrine! Wow! Maybe you can get the Pope to write a bull on that to go along with all his other bull! I didn't bring up the Christmas thing.... What I said about him minding his own business and not getting into what his nephew is doing is from the Bible.



So sad!

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

Oh, this is too funny! :lol:

 

[mjrhealth]

Did you know that the 66 books in the Protestant Bible is a "man made tradition?" The Bible itself never says what books are in it, but Protestants accept the traditions of men in this instance.

H mm a whole religion based on that, wont mention any names lest some get uoset,

Mar 7:6 He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.
Mar 7:7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
Mar 7:8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.

And as far as protesting goes, the one they claim they stand for must be protesting the most.

Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
Rev 18:5 For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.
Rev 18:6 Reward her even as she rewarded you, and double unto her double according to her works: in the cup which she hath filled fill to her double.
Rev 18:7 How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow.
Rev 18:8 Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her.
Rev 18:9 And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning,

But as the bible says, they prefer it that way, making God into something He is not, making a mockery of God, but He will not be mocked, God wont get mad a t anyone who doesnt celebrate a man made tradition, why should He care., but for thos e who claim to be from Him and for Him who distort the truth, cause men to stumble, and make a mockery of Him thats a different matter,

1Pe 4:17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
1Pe 4:18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
1Pe 4:19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.


In all His Love

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

Try as you might. You won't get all 66 books catalogued. But I think you get my larger point, that "man made traditions" aren't really a bad thing. Jesus condemned traditions that made void the word of God and that's an important distinction. I have no problem with your 66 book Bible man made tradition. None at all.

And I apologize for the uptight prig comment, that was going to far.

But let's examine the real joy vs the kind every Christian claims to have, even those who don't. Insouciant Christians find no threat in Christmas and even participate in its festivities, adorning their homes, eating great food, singing carols, and exchanging gifts. The understand Saint Paul when he says "all things are lawful for me". and don't saddle themselves with a bunch of rules, especially those that deprive them of the simple joys of life.

I'm talking to members right here who take themselves way to seriously. Your posts drip with self righteousness and convey a sense you're better than everyone else, especially those who have a Christmas tree in their home. You don't laugh at yourselves because you lack humility. You take pride in your meticulous observation of the law and you make sure that others know how disciplined you are. The inability to laugh at oneself, to not take oneself too seriously, is unhealthy and truth to tell, mentally unbalanced. Christian joy isn't codified in Bible verses, it's an experience of peace deep in the heart knowing that "all things are yours. Whether Paul, or Apollo, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all things are yours." (1Corin 3:21,22) So yes, you can celebrate Christmas and have the time of your life doing it.

You just need to lighten up a little and learn to laugh some more.

 

[Rach1370]

The question I would ask all those who say "Christmas in not Christ's REAL Birthday" is this....when is his real birthday, and do you celebrate it?

Clearly the actual day of Christ's birth is too hard to pin down. But I challenge anyone who would think it is not a day worth recognising and celebrating. It sounds to me that by refusing to join in celebrating and remembering with other Christians on Christmas day, that you are actually refusing to celebrate his 'day of coming' at all....and what a great shame that it.

Also...(moderator hat on)....can we tone down the throwing around of terms like "stupid" or "uptight".....neither is exactly in keeping with the topic at hand....Christs birth and our recognising of that....

To the OP.....if you truly believe getting involved is what you must do....I would simply point out that Christ gave us the most amazing gift on Chrismtas....and while it's a gift we can never return, or earn or pay back....it is something we can learn from. Giving joyfully to others can be a true blessing, especially for children....its so wonderful to GET.....but in teaching our children to also GIVE and give in an open hearted manner that echo's Gods grace, we are teaching them a very good lesson, especially in a world that's all about "what can I get for myself".......Just a thought.

 

[horsecamp]

I have an adult nephew (35 years old) who is married, with two daughters (ages 9 and 7). A few years ago his church announced that it was wrong to exchange gifts at Christmas. Claimed it took away from the true meaning of Christmas. As such, his girls no longer get gifts at Christmas. I feel really bad for them. This guy has a good heart, but is making a huge mistake. Your kids only get one childhood. I feel bad because one day he'll wake up and realize that it was a mistake to rob these kids of Christmas.

I need some advice. Should I talk to the guy and try to change his mind? If so, what should I say?

God no where in the bible neither tells or forbids people from celebrating Christs birth or giving each other gifts on a day they choose to celebrate Christs birth .


so its fall in the catagory of "adiaphra " other wise know as INDEFERANCES TO GOD OR christian liberty ..

but now you have a church that wants to take that liberty away from your Son and choose for him going against what your son once chose to do .... Martin Luther propably would say to YOUR Son double the amount of gifts given to the child! and do it in front of the pastor and the whole congregation and let them old bags stew over it ..

http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/web/cclib-2.html

 

[Arnie Manitoba]

I have an adult nephew (35 years old) who is married, with two daughters (ages 9 and 7). A few years ago his church announced that it was wrong to exchange gifts at Christmas. Claimed it took away from the true meaning of Christmas. As such, his girls no longer get gifts at Christmas. I feel really bad for them. This guy has a good heart, but is making a huge mistake. Your kids only get one childhood. I feel bad because one day he'll wake up and realize that it was a mistake to rob these kids of Christmas.

I need some advice. Should I talk to the guy and try to change his mind? If so, what should I say?

A better question is ....

What day of the year should we celebrate the birth of Christ ??
What day should we recognize the death of Christ ??

Or should we just forget the whole thing simply because the secular world sees them as a time for giving gifts , and as a time for chocolate Easter bunnies ??

I say we Christians should continue to celebrate Christmas and Easter .... even if it is mostly secular now .... because at least twice a year the message of Christ gets out.

Anyone hates christmas ??? Then go to a Muslim country .... try to even mention Jesus on the street and see how well that works for ya' ..... try a christmas display in town square.

Every year the world wants to stop using "Christmas greetings" and change it to "Holiday greetings"

The day Christians want to stop Christmas is the day we joined with the unbeleivers

Think about it.

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

A better question is ....

What day of the year should we celebrate the birth of Christ ??
What day should we recognize the death of Christ ??

Or should we just forget the whole thing simply because the secular world sees them as a time for giving gifts , and as a time for chocolate Easter bunnies ??

I say we Christians should continue to celebrate Christmas and Easter .... even if it is mostly secular now .... because at least twice a year the message of Christ gets out.

Anyone hates christmas ??? Then go to a Muslim country .... try to even mention Jesus on the street and see how well that works for ya' ..... try a christmas display in town square.

Every year the world wants to stop using "Christmas greetings" and change it to "Holiday greetings"

The day Christians want to stop Christmas is the day we joined with the unbeleivers

Think about it.

^^^^ This.

 

[marksman]

I think a much more important question is "does God need Christmas?"

I don't think he does as there is no record in scripture of the church celebrating the birth of Christ every year which was in October. What was more important to them was his resurrection as no other belief system can claim a risen saviour.

What would be much more effective is a church that expresses the holiness and purity of Christ. if it did that Christmas would be a ho hum topic.

As we know,embracing a man made celebration is much easier than embracing God's standard for the church so we take the easy road and choose man's ideas rather than what God wants.

Whilst in Bible College, I did a study of revivals. I noted that most of them happened not because we celebrated Christmas. They happened because of an awareness of sin and the unworthiness of those seeking revival.

The defining experience was a sense of God's presence and a conviction of sin. In the Welsh revival, the pubs closed for lack of trade and sinners would fall to their knees under conviction of sin in the street.

I wonder how people who abhor physical manifestations would cope with that?

 

[Arnie Manitoba]

You make some good points marksman ..... but the birth is important too ... Son of God ... born of a virgin ... a Savior is born .

The 3 wise men felt it was a significant event

The Lord parked a bright star over the birthplace

The least we can do is mention that once a year around Christmas.

My thoughts anyway.

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

I think a much more important question is "does God need Christmas?"

I don't think he does as there is no record in scripture of the church celebrating the birth of Christ every year which was in October. What was more important to them was his resurrection as no other belief system can claim a risen saviour.

What would be much more effective is a church that expresses the holiness and purity of Christ. if it did that Christmas would be a ho hum topic.

As we know,embracing a man made celebration is much easier than embracing God's standard for the church so we take the easy road and choose man's ideas rather than what God wants.

Whilst in Bible College, I did a study of revivals. I noted that most of them happened not because we celebrated Christmas. They happened because of an awareness of sin and the unworthiness of those seeking revival.

The defining experience was a sense of God's presence and a conviction of sin. In the Welsh revival, the pubs closed for lack of trade and sinners would fall to their knees under conviction of sin in the street.

I wonder how people who abhor physical manifestations would cope with that?

I find it entertaining how you neatly sidestepped the fact that Scripture records the birth of Christ was commemorated. Not only that, but it was celebrated as the most significant event in the history of creation, which it was. God became man and took on our humble form. I also find it humorous how the Fightin' Fundies like you pit the Incarnation against the Crucifixion as if the two were in conflict and one must succumb to the other. Without the Incarnation, the Crucifixion is meaningless because the qualification of a crucifixion that's efficacious for the remission of sins is that the man crucified is fully God and fully man. Everything points back to the Incarnation as the starting point when God intervened in human events to vouchsafe for us eternal life. You think that's not something to celebrate? That's just nutty.

 

[marksman]

You make some good points marksman ..... but the birth is important too ... Son of God ... born of a virgin ... a Savior is born .

The 3 wise men felt it was a significant event

The Lord parked a bright star over the birthplace

The least we can do is mention that once a year around Christmas.

My thoughts anyway.

No disagreement with what you have said except for one thing...there is no record of the church in scripture mentioning it once a year. I think that the reason for this was that they lived the resurrection life of Jesus every day.

We don't so we have to invent particular days to keep things turning over.