Hi there,
So I am writing out of a desire to process what I am going through at the moment - I have reached a sort of milestone, and I want to make sure I am clear on what part God has had in it. Basically, I have come to the conclusion, you do not need to be sane all the time (which being hyper-vigilant can trick you into thinking you need). Solomon said "everyone is a little mad at heart" (Old Testament, from memory) and I think there is a secret to that: be nice to yourself about your madness - madness is life, it's not the end of the world. In other words, guard what sanity you have, without over stretching for more. Imagine how sane - how consistently sane - you would be, if you could just relax a little and let your sanity be flexible. Flexible sanity is envious, to someone who was once a fool.
The other half of the milestone (sorry, I should have mentioned there are two parts) is that I have come to realise, that God will be there for me, no matter what. I know, I know, that sounds like a cliche or trite or whatever, but it's true! Life is a series of moments, each one of those moments, either needs God's help or it does not. The thing to realise is that you can be confident that God will be there for those moments that need His attention and God will be confident in you, for those moments that you can handle, with a little bit of help. That's it! That's the freedom! No worry: you don't know if it will need His attention or not, but stop guessing He has both of you in mind!
The reason I think this is a milestone, such that I need to write it down (further to what I said earlier) is that reaching the peak of trust in God - and quietness in yourself - is that it is a slow battle from here, to get my head in agreement with what my heart believes. I know I don't need to be sane all the time, 'but wouldn't it be nice' (that's the Devil); or, I know God will be there for me, if I really need Him 'but can I trust Him' (that's the Devil again). The milestone is also a bit of a millstone, it doesn't roll quickly over the hill of stress (that doubting these things brings). You have to put your shoulder to it, say "God, I trust You" and "God I believe in You" and keep waiting for the peace to come. If you keep enlarging the field in which your piece can grow, moving that milestone/millstone will get easier and easier.
What God wants is for us to be tender to Him; He is not harsh with us, does not get angry with us that we take up His time. It is important to remember, that God got to be like this, after eons and eons of trusting Jesus. Now that Jesus has been revealed, we have no excuse to behave in ways that God never provoked us to behave in. Sure the Devil looks like he's got it together, "you're not as sane as me? You're dirt!" he says, all the while fretting "God is going to find me out, then who will I blame?" Don't take that line! Day by day you are going to get stronger, more capable - then you will be what God wants you to be (tender, but also strong) and all the ins and outs of life will make sense to you. Trust that it's going to make sense to you!
Perfection, peace, sense - that's what I am trying to encourage here!
God bless.
So I am writing out of a desire to process what I am going through at the moment - I have reached a sort of milestone, and I want to make sure I am clear on what part God has had in it. Basically, I have come to the conclusion, you do not need to be sane all the time (which being hyper-vigilant can trick you into thinking you need). Solomon said "everyone is a little mad at heart" (Old Testament, from memory) and I think there is a secret to that: be nice to yourself about your madness - madness is life, it's not the end of the world. In other words, guard what sanity you have, without over stretching for more. Imagine how sane - how consistently sane - you would be, if you could just relax a little and let your sanity be flexible. Flexible sanity is envious, to someone who was once a fool.
The other half of the milestone (sorry, I should have mentioned there are two parts) is that I have come to realise, that God will be there for me, no matter what. I know, I know, that sounds like a cliche or trite or whatever, but it's true! Life is a series of moments, each one of those moments, either needs God's help or it does not. The thing to realise is that you can be confident that God will be there for those moments that need His attention and God will be confident in you, for those moments that you can handle, with a little bit of help. That's it! That's the freedom! No worry: you don't know if it will need His attention or not, but stop guessing He has both of you in mind!
The reason I think this is a milestone, such that I need to write it down (further to what I said earlier) is that reaching the peak of trust in God - and quietness in yourself - is that it is a slow battle from here, to get my head in agreement with what my heart believes. I know I don't need to be sane all the time, 'but wouldn't it be nice' (that's the Devil); or, I know God will be there for me, if I really need Him 'but can I trust Him' (that's the Devil again). The milestone is also a bit of a millstone, it doesn't roll quickly over the hill of stress (that doubting these things brings). You have to put your shoulder to it, say "God, I trust You" and "God I believe in You" and keep waiting for the peace to come. If you keep enlarging the field in which your piece can grow, moving that milestone/millstone will get easier and easier.
What God wants is for us to be tender to Him; He is not harsh with us, does not get angry with us that we take up His time. It is important to remember, that God got to be like this, after eons and eons of trusting Jesus. Now that Jesus has been revealed, we have no excuse to behave in ways that God never provoked us to behave in. Sure the Devil looks like he's got it together, "you're not as sane as me? You're dirt!" he says, all the while fretting "God is going to find me out, then who will I blame?" Don't take that line! Day by day you are going to get stronger, more capable - then you will be what God wants you to be (tender, but also strong) and all the ins and outs of life will make sense to you. Trust that it's going to make sense to you!
Perfection, peace, sense - that's what I am trying to encourage here!
God bless.
