Recommendations for a man who lost his wife

[lforrest]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

 

[amigo de christo]

ONLY THIS . HOPE THOU IN GOD and POINT HIM TO JESUS . in the end nothing else mattered or will have mattered .

 

[ReChoired]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

It would depend on whether or not he is a Christian, and believes in the resurrection to come, and whether their wife was a Christian. If they are, then a gentle reminder of the soon coming of Jesus, and of the hope of the resurrection to come with Him. If the wife was faithful to Christ Jesus in what she knew and share this text:

Isa 57:1 The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come.
Isa 57:2 He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.

Job 1:21 "... the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

1Th 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
1Th 4:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
1Th 4:15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
1Th 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
1Th 4:17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
1Th 4:18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.​

Remember all the times that the person brought comfort, for it was the Lord Jesus, by the Holy Ghost through that person that loved them, and thus that love still remains, just now given by/through other means. It is often the case, when one dies, the other soon follows after, sometimes within a year or two, but not always.

Their local church and his friends need to visit and give comfort, a hug, spend some time as needful. Not pressuring, but just being available.

If they (who are live) are not a Christian, this changes things a bit, and especially if the person which fell on sleep is not a Christian. Yet, even so, God is still merciful to those who don't know Him, and simple comfort of ones presence, company, or touch (hug, handshake, shoulder clasp) and general words of kindness are often appreciated and welcomed. Depending on the person, one can try to direct their mind to the loss of God's own Son, and show them that God knows what it is like to experience that, and even with Jesus, who knew of the death of his step-father Joseph, and also with his friend Lazarus, and so personally knows of the close experience of death of loved ones, and they might listen to the possibility of the resurrection of the so great sacrifice to save from death, but the timing would have to be considered. Generally friendship during that time must be close and decided, to help with whatever is needed, especially if they have no nearby family to help with funeral, going through things in the house to see what is to be kept, or given away, etc, life insurance policies and lawyers etc, funeral arrangments. It is a hard process. Some persons will not want to go through all of their beloved belongings and rather leave them. When there is no children involved to bring comfort, they especially need their own near family (brothers/sisters if they have any) or close friends, or even a good neighbour to be near and spend some days with them in transition, and slowly wean them to being able to stand on their own again after so long a period.

 

[Ziggy]

My mom passed away when she was 60. My dad was 61.
I wasn't around much as I lived in another state and everything was work work work..
My oldest brother lived the closest, even though he was the farthest from a good relationship with my dad.
My other brother was in another state as well, struggling with devils in his life.

My dad has always been a work-a-holic. And I know that when my mom died he kept his job working at the blueberry factory, burning fields and such. He had friends at work or so he tells me. All I know is what he shares.. and that is little and not often.
About 6 months after, he felt he needed to do something. He loves music and there was a dance barn a few towns over.
He went one night and met a widow who asked if he would like to dance. They been together for 20 years now.

The only suggestion I can give is try to keep active. Keep in touch with friends and co-workers.
Grieving is natural but don't let it overcome and pull you into a dark spiral.
It took me 10 years before I could talk about my mom without tears welling in my eyes.
And those rare times my dad talks about her, even though it has been 20+ years.. I see that same dampness in his eyes that are in mine.

Keep moving, the one that's gone wouldn't want the one remaining to stop living.
If they have a hard time living for themselves, then live in memory of the one they lost.

Sending prayers of comfort and consolation.

Hugs

 

[Pearl]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

As you say you know him only 'distantly' do you mean to try to forge a closer acquaintance with him? Prayer should be your first priority. It would be so easy to go to him and say what's on your heart or in your mind but to connect effectively with this man you need to ask God how to approach him, the timing and opportunity, Also you need to ask God to meet the man's needs and give him strength at this sad time and also ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to speak to him that will bring comfort. Perhaps at a time you weren't expecting you will be led to him and will know what to say.

 

[Jay Ross]

Simply continue to pray that God will continue to draw him into His loving embrace and also for wisdom for yourself for when he might ask you the difficult questions that he has most likely been pondering on since his wife death.

 

[JohnDB]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

YES,

Grief counseling.
Then just let him know that you are there for him...still his friend.
And that there are a bunch of women now hunting him. He no longer is the hunter but the prey. He is going to buck you on this one but it's really true. I can't tell you the number of stories about widowers who have a girlfriend within 6 months of losing a wife. If he is a Christian man the casserole dishes will flow through his kitchen at an unbelievable rate. Them women are predatory.

 

[farouk]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

Something to do with the Psalms...

 

[JohnDB]

How about Isaiah 57:1-3?
That one is usually good for sharing with those who lost a loved one that is saved.

 

[lforrest]

I went with something from the heart, my own commentary on the application of Romans 8:18. Thanks all.

 

[JohnDB]

I went with something from the heart, my own commentary on the application of Romans 8:18. Thanks all.

That's another good one.

 

[historyb]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

A grief observed by CS Lewis when I lost my parents within 6 hours of each other it helped tremendously

 

[Enoch111]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

Assuming that this person is a Christian, and that his loss is not too fresh, there is no reason why he should not (or could not) find another wife. Which means that he could be happily married (in the Lord) for another 20 or 30 years. At the same time he should resolve to remain busy, active, involved, and doing the Lord's work.

He is relatively young at 60, since age is strictly in the mind. When people start thinking of themselves as "seniors" they actually sabotage themselves. "Mature juniors" is much better. Which means that proper diet, regular exercise, and proper sleep are all necessary.

 

[Holy999]

pets

 

[dev553344]

I know someone, distantly, who recently lost his wife. He is in his 60s and has no children. Does anyone have recommendations that I may pass on?

Maybe if he gets lonely to get a support animal to keep him company? If he doesn't already have one and likes the idea.