hi all, by request from our brother Oz, the following is my testimony (the brief anyway) how God too me fro darkness to His glorious light 26 short years ago.
Firstly it is a mistake to think that darkness always feels that way, as i was a a sunny child with a sunny disposition mostly, and even during my hell raising years 15 - 24, i still didn't have a malicious streak in me in that, i mostly had compassion and mercy towards others, but get alcohol in me and i had very few limits. This i put down to a agnostic pacifist father who spent 3 yrs in jail for refusing to go to war on compassionate grounds. My father had little regard for authority or bylaws etc, and we children, 4 brothers 2 sisters and 3 stepsisters were taught to challenge authority. My mother was a divorced woman with 3 daughters and raised in a church where they were not allowed to play or read on Sunday, yet they had to do all the cleaning and chores. Her stories i think begat in me disdain for anything religious. Yet my eldest sister accepted Christ about 12 yrs old, and i know it was the prayers of my sister and others that finally got me saved.
I was a thrill seeker and risk taker from a very early age and my family often recount all the narrow misses with death i escaped, needless to say by 15 yrs old school lost all attraction, and i left with a rebel mate to get jobs. For the next 8 years i worked hard till pay day and was broke by Sunday morning, and always with some trouble to account for. By 18 yrs old i had 3 pages of drunken offences in the courts, and received 3 mths prison for Drunk driving offences, and that was just the ones i didn't get away from. In hindsight it seemed as if i had a demon helping me in outrageous acts of rebellion, fights and hell raising, yet my friends mothers saw me as an angel and trust worthy
person.
But "as a man sows, so shall he reap", and by time the fruits of my choices came home to roost, i was broken and very sorrowful of my harvest.
At a low point in my life i had broken up with yet another girlfriend who had enough of my drinking and recklessness, and that night had a high speed crash into a concrete power pole.I survived without a scratch, but my good friend narrowly escaped paralysis of his legs as he took the impact on his side. The car spun around and ended up in the ditch on the other side, both of us were thrown from the wreckage. I was 24 and owned only a rifle and clothes. Then i met a single mother with a 3 yr old child, something clicked and i swapped hell raising for "family man".
Only thing is my morals were still very loose and i would stray whenever i went back into party environments.
At 28 yrs old and with 2 daughters i found myself separated from my wife, and broken from my betrayals and those who had betrayed me. Mostly i was broken by my betrayal of my best friend with his divorced wife, and the hurt i didn't comprehend could happen.
At this point i was milking cows for a farmer while he was away for the weekend, and in this solitude i cried out "God i don't want to live like this anymore". I didn't believe God existed, although twice in my life very freaky things happened to make me briefly wonder. After finishing the milking i went to the house and looked in the yellow pages for a church. Long story short, i was invited to come for a meal and a chat, and i began a "6 steps of Christianity explained" course in the book of Mark.
There was no big struggle Jesus said it, i believed it, end of story.
Hallelujah I was born again !. The next day i couldn't believe the colour of the sky or the grass, they were vivid like i had seen them for the first time. I had new eyes, for i was a new creation.
Enter Satan, my best friend was killed in a motorbike accident that same night, and 1 mth later another was killed by a train. There was a lot of guilt and unresolved rifts surrounding these deaths and i often cried uncontrollably for about the next 2 yrs. I really miss my mates despite what went down.
I have had an up and down, round and round, and at times crazy journey with God my saviour, redeemer and best friend, and through it all I have clung to Phil 1:6 " He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it", and i just know He will.
I have been through fire (loss) and i have been through rain (depression) but through it all I can only say God is good, and my greatest joy is to praise Him with all that I have and all that is within me.
I see some leaving the church for the world, and I say you can go there, but I came from there and i'm not going back. I have my share of troubles as Job14:1 says "man born of a woman is of few days and that full of troubles"
I have seen miracles along the way, and been used lately for healings, but i have had few close manifestations of God as some others do, yet Jesus says Jn 20:29 "blessed are those who believe without seeing". I am blessed and it shall be well with my soul.
Firstly it is a mistake to think that darkness always feels that way, as i was a a sunny child with a sunny disposition mostly, and even during my hell raising years 15 - 24, i still didn't have a malicious streak in me in that, i mostly had compassion and mercy towards others, but get alcohol in me and i had very few limits. This i put down to a agnostic pacifist father who spent 3 yrs in jail for refusing to go to war on compassionate grounds. My father had little regard for authority or bylaws etc, and we children, 4 brothers 2 sisters and 3 stepsisters were taught to challenge authority. My mother was a divorced woman with 3 daughters and raised in a church where they were not allowed to play or read on Sunday, yet they had to do all the cleaning and chores. Her stories i think begat in me disdain for anything religious. Yet my eldest sister accepted Christ about 12 yrs old, and i know it was the prayers of my sister and others that finally got me saved.
I was a thrill seeker and risk taker from a very early age and my family often recount all the narrow misses with death i escaped, needless to say by 15 yrs old school lost all attraction, and i left with a rebel mate to get jobs. For the next 8 years i worked hard till pay day and was broke by Sunday morning, and always with some trouble to account for. By 18 yrs old i had 3 pages of drunken offences in the courts, and received 3 mths prison for Drunk driving offences, and that was just the ones i didn't get away from. In hindsight it seemed as if i had a demon helping me in outrageous acts of rebellion, fights and hell raising, yet my friends mothers saw me as an angel and trust worthy
person.
But "as a man sows, so shall he reap", and by time the fruits of my choices came home to roost, i was broken and very sorrowful of my harvest.
At a low point in my life i had broken up with yet another girlfriend who had enough of my drinking and recklessness, and that night had a high speed crash into a concrete power pole.I survived without a scratch, but my good friend narrowly escaped paralysis of his legs as he took the impact on his side. The car spun around and ended up in the ditch on the other side, both of us were thrown from the wreckage. I was 24 and owned only a rifle and clothes. Then i met a single mother with a 3 yr old child, something clicked and i swapped hell raising for "family man".
Only thing is my morals were still very loose and i would stray whenever i went back into party environments.
At 28 yrs old and with 2 daughters i found myself separated from my wife, and broken from my betrayals and those who had betrayed me. Mostly i was broken by my betrayal of my best friend with his divorced wife, and the hurt i didn't comprehend could happen.
At this point i was milking cows for a farmer while he was away for the weekend, and in this solitude i cried out "God i don't want to live like this anymore". I didn't believe God existed, although twice in my life very freaky things happened to make me briefly wonder. After finishing the milking i went to the house and looked in the yellow pages for a church. Long story short, i was invited to come for a meal and a chat, and i began a "6 steps of Christianity explained" course in the book of Mark.
There was no big struggle Jesus said it, i believed it, end of story.
Hallelujah I was born again !. The next day i couldn't believe the colour of the sky or the grass, they were vivid like i had seen them for the first time. I had new eyes, for i was a new creation.
Enter Satan, my best friend was killed in a motorbike accident that same night, and 1 mth later another was killed by a train. There was a lot of guilt and unresolved rifts surrounding these deaths and i often cried uncontrollably for about the next 2 yrs. I really miss my mates despite what went down.
I have had an up and down, round and round, and at times crazy journey with God my saviour, redeemer and best friend, and through it all I have clung to Phil 1:6 " He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it", and i just know He will.
I have been through fire (loss) and i have been through rain (depression) but through it all I can only say God is good, and my greatest joy is to praise Him with all that I have and all that is within me.
I see some leaving the church for the world, and I say you can go there, but I came from there and i'm not going back. I have my share of troubles as Job14:1 says "man born of a woman is of few days and that full of troubles"
I have seen miracles along the way, and been used lately for healings, but i have had few close manifestations of God as some others do, yet Jesus says Jn 20:29 "blessed are those who believe without seeing". I am blessed and it shall be well with my soul.
