lilygrace
Well-Known Member
I took German in college and found it simple. Now don't remember it. Dad knows some German
Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK
- Thread starter TLHKAJ
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I had German speaking alters. They eventually learned English and merged/integrated.
Hi @lilygrace A good way to learn another language is to read a familiar Bible passage in the language being learned, such as one with simple and clear words - John chapter 1 comes to mind; and it's amazing how quickly one can absorb it.......
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
yes. he is. however, i feel like he more identified as irish too.....
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
Today is Father's Day, which is a cult ritual date. We are also coming up on summer solstice, which is another major cult ritual date (and the days surrounding). Please pray for survivors/victims of SRA/MK over the next several days.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This has happened to me and it’s strange. And sometimes, a lot more time than just a minute has gone by. I’ve answered before and got a confused reaction from the person, so I said, well…you asked me thus and thus and I answered you. And they’ve said, oh, yes, I did ask you that a few hours ago, but I thought you didn’t hear me. To me, I thought they had asked the question just then.
I recently came to think it was because I learned to shut out and shut off from my mother, who did not do to me the unspeakable things that happened to you, but did use me to regulate her “bad” emotions, did not allow me to display my own emotions but manipulated me to display hers so that I was the “bad” one and she was the “good” one, had extreme control issues, saw me as an extension of herself rather than an individual person, kept me confused by telling me things didn’t happen (if to think they happened put her in a less than perfect light in her mind) that I knew darn well had happened, insisted I make none of my own decisions but only do what she wanted me to do, but then made what she wanted me to do to be so difficult that I would give up trying, which would then allow her to call me lazy, putting her own trait onto me and making me feel guilt for it. She would set me up for failure. It was the goal. They do have a name for it - covert narcissism, but really, it’s satan using people through them having also been mistreated that way by their own mother. It’s generational too. But narcissism is a scale we all fall on somewhere and at some times, although not persistently and pervasively, because of conscience and empathy, which a true narcissist does not have. They may have a conscience but it’s been seared and they cannot self examine in order to have empathy or their whole false construct would collapse.
Also, they say the one who is chosen as the “scapegoat” child is the one who is most emotionally strong and able to take on that role without collapsing.
I do understand it all now so I could go on and on regarding all the subtleties of it. But before I understood it, I was filled with rage without knowing why.
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Psalm-147:3
Member
Hello Everyone,
I am new here. I am thankful for this forum and it helped me with denial.
I am from Germany and 34 y old. Been in therapy for over 10y and came to the Lord in 2020. The Lord is helping me to realize my trauma. Only through Him I am able to have a look at it. Was never able before. I know now it is SRA and TBMC. Only have few snippets of memories so far. Strong programming too.
Going through the forum I have a question about what I saw there.
Someone mentioning jerks and not being able to walk is an a reaction or body memory of electroshock torture.
I wonder because I have it quite a lot that my legs give in. They are so weak and give in I barely can walk. And then it also affects my arms I can barely lift them up. The limbs are so weak. Could this be from that? Or is it something else?
I just always classified it as dissociative symptoms.
Thanks so much
God bless you all
I am new here. I am thankful for this forum and it helped me with denial.
I am from Germany and 34 y old. Been in therapy for over 10y and came to the Lord in 2020. The Lord is helping me to realize my trauma. Only through Him I am able to have a look at it. Was never able before. I know now it is SRA and TBMC. Only have few snippets of memories so far. Strong programming too.
Going through the forum I have a question about what I saw there.
Someone mentioning jerks and not being able to walk is an a reaction or body memory of electroshock torture.
I wonder because I have it quite a lot that my legs give in. They are so weak and give in I barely can walk. And then it also affects my arms I can barely lift them up. The limbs are so weak. Could this be from that? Or is it something else?
I just always classified it as dissociative symptoms.
Thanks so much
God bless you all
Hello, and welcome to the forum.
The jerking is something I have experienced as well. It can be a couple of different causes... one being electric shock body memories, and the other could be the body releasing pent up trauma. And of course, those can overlap, because electric shock is trauma.
The weakness in the body is something I experienced at different times. Sometimes it was related to trauma held by alters when they came forward co-present with me.
How long has the muscle/limb weakness been going on? Is it constant, or does it come and go?
It can be related to programming as well ...but even at that, it is alters holding trauma who are presenting with these programming symptoms. For example, several years back, I had some "computer" alters who came forward and shared some of their memories with me, what they were used for, etc. And a day or two later, I woke up to get out of bed, but as soon as I tried to stand up I collapsed to the floor. My legs just wouldn't work. It was as if they were dislocated. That day, I spent the whole day in my bed with muscle spasms so severe I had to keep my feet against the wall to keep them from drawing under. The spasms were from hips to toes for hours and hours. My sweet daughters (ages 18 & 14) stayed with me the whole time massaging pressure points to help relieve the pain. (My 18 yr old had taken classes in massage and cosmetology at a local college.)
What I learned is that these were body memories. I found a child alter inside who (inside) was a "ragdoll" with no mouth and no legs. That is how she saw herself. Long story, but she is one who held the memories of the tortures we experienced to create the internal computer alters.
Anyway, I hope that made sense. Idk if that helps.
If your symptoms have come and gone, pay attention to what's going on internally. I'm assuming you have DID?
Psalm-147:3
Member
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and your answer.
Yes I have DID. This was diagnosed and in secular therapy we never got anywhere at all. They recognized programming and that also prevented any success or progress.
So now with a Christian prayer minister we actually manage to talk to programmed parts I didn't even know exist. Just coming out of denial again. Figured out TBMC recently.
About the legs, the strongest it was at a clinic stay which was back in my hometown but I didn't know about the trauma yet but didn't have contact to the family. A part felt stalked by people that they intimidate us so we don't talk. At that time I didn't know anything about I even would talk. There my legs gave in in a shop were a man was behaving weird and I thought we need a wheelchair now.
From then on it is more intense with triggers or stronger dissociation/switching. We have a cane if it gets worse.
I'm not sure what it is.
When our service dog died dissociation and switching was strong again and then the leg stuff started again. These weeks is more the arms giving in.
Maybe something with programming as you mentioned?
I am so happy about the exchange here. I might have many more questions along the way.
Thanks so much. God bless you all
Yes I have DID. This was diagnosed and in secular therapy we never got anywhere at all. They recognized programming and that also prevented any success or progress.
So now with a Christian prayer minister we actually manage to talk to programmed parts I didn't even know exist. Just coming out of denial again. Figured out TBMC recently.
About the legs, the strongest it was at a clinic stay which was back in my hometown but I didn't know about the trauma yet but didn't have contact to the family. A part felt stalked by people that they intimidate us so we don't talk. At that time I didn't know anything about I even would talk. There my legs gave in in a shop were a man was behaving weird and I thought we need a wheelchair now.
From then on it is more intense with triggers or stronger dissociation/switching. We have a cane if it gets worse.
I'm not sure what it is.
When our service dog died dissociation and switching was strong again and then the leg stuff started again. These weeks is more the arms giving in.
Maybe something with programming as you mentioned?
I am so happy about the exchange here. I might have many more questions along the way.
Thanks so much. God bless you all
Yes, if you have a good connection and communication with inside (alters), ask if anyone knows what's the cause behind these episodes. Ask them if there's anything they need to share with you. Let these symptoms become an opportunity to ... #1, pray and ask God for truth, and #2, connect with inside and ask them if there's anything they want to share.
Psalm-147:3
Member
Thank you so much. Communication is almost down to zero. They are very secretive and silent to share anything or give information. Very quiet. But I'm praying for this for some time. We are not really friends internally. But eventually it will get better. I will take your advice. Maybe that's a starting point for it.
God bless you
Yes, communication with alters is absolutely essential for healing. They helped you survive the torture and trauma. They may hold a lot of anger or even rage, and most likely they have strongholds of all sorts. But they are to be loved and valued. Jesus certainly loves them right where they are and desires to bring them to healing.
Just begin inviting them to share and connect with you. Invite them to come alongside you and enjoy some daily tasks and experience new things such as hobbies or music, or being outdoors.
Psalm-147:3
Member
Psalm-147:3
Member
Yes they have issues with God. Many of them. Thinking they go to hell or can't be forgiven. Or are very fearful of God. Or God hates us. Punishes us. Thinking He is bad. Some programmed protectors even want to keep demons. They are very much on the devil's side. Even say God is the enemy's camp and stuff. Or drawing antichristian things. But the Holy Spirit touches them when the prayer minister talks to them and they change, can see the truth. It's beautiful.
For the first year on my walk with Christ (I thought I am healed and parts were all demons), I couldn't draw close to God. There was something in between which I could not figure out. Now I know that it was dissociation and all these parts. It's getting better. I can hear more clearly from Him now and He gives me a lot of scripture along the healing path showing He is right there. God is so good. Praise the Lord.
God bless