Each survivor is different. Some have an affinity for things that reinforce their programming. Some have an acute sensitivity and aversion to them. I had both.
I've been reluctant to return to this thread but it's needful that I persevere and stay the course, the lesson of that trial I'm enduring. Some of us have endured unspeakable evil due to SRA and others have been subjected to manifold evil delivered by the hands of Christians. Sometimes both, of course, but in my case the Christian was the bringer of evil. This was in service to reinforcing the iniquity of my fathers so that it might take root in me.
This is my lament. I was broken, humiliated, violated, drowned, starved, abandoned, betrayed, deceived, deprived of sleep, and beaten until that prized possession of my lineage appeared: the all-consuming rage. This is that fury of the berserker, men who painted their bodies and unleashed themselves upon the field battle without fear, slaying their foes until they in turn were slain or survived to become enraged on another day. The berserker was "touched by the gods" and his rage was a sacred thing to his fellows. They were known to consume psychedelic substances to curry the favor of their idols. This was how most entered the trance.
But there were some who had no need for such things because they were predisposed to entering the trance without the aid of psychedelic substances (gateways to the trance). This talent was an earmark of my bloodline and while it primarily manifested in males, it would surface on occasion in a female. I speak of the trance which is that conduit to the fury of the berserker... and much more. It was also the means by which my spiritual sensitivity was developed and expanded upon. I didn't require psychedelic substances nor external suggestion to enter the trance.
My exposure to Satanic elements didn't come until I reached the age of accountability. I was already a prolific dreamer and receiver of visions, and because I could enter the trance swiftly that exposure arrived via communication with unclean spirits. I could hear them and sensed their presence, recognizing when their agency was at work in my midst.
There was a problem: for a reason unbeknownst to my human handlers these lying spirits could not enter into me. The spirits themselves knew but these scheming liars weren't about to confess the truth to a living soul, that they were powerless to cross the barrier which surrounded me like a hedge. They raged against it and couldn't violate it... but let it not be said that the powers of darkness lack a certain cunning and an understanding of man. My corruption would proceed regardless of the hedge. My spiritual awareness predisposed me to becoming the penultimate warlock.
This is also my lament. I was terrified after I emerged from the womb by these unclean spirits by virtue of the trance which was already available to me as an infant and toddler. I saw their visions and they were unspeakable; I was visited by nightmares whenever I fell asleep and so I was accordingly reluctant to succumb to sleep. This trance was what empowered me to educate myself so that I learned how to read and write without a teacher to guide and inform me. I was horrified and this had the effect of desensitizing me to fear over time.
It wasn't that I didn't experience fear. No, but things which caused others to flee in panic (or freeze in terror) didn't faze me.
I was tempted with the power of the warlock. Did I want to know what was happening in a distant country? Did I want to be privy to the thoughts of my fellow man in that distant country? Did I want to inseminate thoughts in their mind so my fellow man in that distant country believed that those thoughts were their own? Did I want the power to control my fellow man so they danced like a puppet on a string? Did I want sums of money... concubines... and to be adored in whatever pursuit my heart desired?
All I had to do was swear allegiance to Satan and those lying spirits would do my bidding. They would be mine to command. If I worshiped Satan as god then power and riches and glory would be mine. This was how a certain prince, a power of spiritual darkness and the ruler of a principality of wickedness, sought to claim my life. The hedge which our Father in heaven raised around me in the womb would therefore be overcome in this way. It prevented those minions of the prince, the unclean lying spirits, from entering me and taking roost... but my willing assent was all the wicked one required. The hedge didn't prevent me from
hearing their lying words and thus receiving their dark visions. My corruption would be complete with my agreement and the iniquity of my fathers would be magnified in a way which would please my human handlers.
The Lord unraveled all of their plans, and this began in earnest when His Spirit broke my father's programming. God gave my father of this flesh to me and it changed everything.
