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TLHKAJ

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Truthquest you are posting such important stuff its blowing my mind....lots of comments I'd like to make, but when I try, I just end up unable to find the right eords...and just end up speechless. Just keep posting as the Lord leads...He is using you to do a lot of good for others.
Your words are just fine... God bless you
 

Shattered

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You're also in the company of some who do understand you. So keep talking so that those who don't will. Because they need to know and understand.


Most churches don't teach people about these things. They avoid it. They are not equipped to handle it. They don't know what real spiritual warfare is even when these evil people infiltrate their churches and take over.


There are those of us who have laid down our lives for others. We understand. I can still remember what that evil demon posing as a preacher said to me when I laid down my life to save a child and a baby. He said, "Are you going to try to stop me? You better do it now but you won't make it out of here alive." He said that in a Christian church during a ritual. They attacked me and mangled my arm. But I'm still alive. And I would do it again.

I didn't notice this either, not until @TLHKAJ tagged me in response to what you wrote. I'm thankful for that because it took a bit of searching to find your post.

The alter wasn't addressing my fellow survivor, but I'm assured you know that by now. There was a time when I was ashamed of his fury and sought to suppress him whenever he sought to step forward... but then I listened to him and realized whom he was addressing. I then felt ashamed for imprisoning him in the same fortress I had languished in myself.

Whom is he addressing?

The false.
Deceivers who preach their form of godliness;
Hypocrites in love with the sound of their own voice;
Unrighteous judges who seek to inflict their godless churchianity not only upon us, but upon anyone who falls into their grasp;
Liars who claim they speak for the Lord when they do not;
Liars who say they believe us when they do not;
Liars.

I will not imprison him any longer, nor will I be ashamed of the fury he experiences toward the liars who did unspeakable things to us all. Liars are an abomination.
 
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truthquest

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I didn't notice this either, not until @TLHKAJ tagged me in response to what you wrote. I'm thankful for that because it took a bit of searching to find your post.

The alter wasn't addressing my fellow survivor, but I'm assured you know that by now.
Yes, I understand that now.
 

truthquest

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@truthquest did you always remember that
No, I didn't always remember it. I wasn't supposed to remember it because they didn't want me to.
My alters told me a lot of things. Nobody else did. I should also mention that many memories came from flashbacks and nightmares.

There are things that I've always remembered though. All kinds of abuse from my mother, father, stepfather. Abuse while in foster care including sexual abuse. I remembered all that. But when it comes to SRA, I didn't remember that until I was in my late fifties. And as I said, those memories came from flashbacks, nightmares and things that my alters told me and showed me.

There are certain triggers that can cause flashbacks. For example, one day I heard my neighbors shooting guns. I started shaking and I closed all the windows in the house and closed the doors. I didn't know at first why I reacted that way. I didn't know why it upset me so much. Then I remembered how my stepfather would chase us with his shotgun in the woods and shoot at us. I have a hard time when I hear fireworks too. Fourth of July is a nightmare for me.
 
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truthquest

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I'm afraid to share things I remember with fantasy in it that may just be that, because you have real memories. I just remember stories that played in my head with elements of torture. The real things of my dad came back in nightmares. When I worked through those they went away. I do not want to sit here and say I went through anything horrific like this. I remember things wrapped in fantasy, like when I was five a crow being thrown into the fire and made to eat it. It is the only animal thing I had. It was by this monster covered in eyes and was from power rangers. It is stupid after what you just shared to even think any reality would be to it. I think mine was a demon. It was still traumatic in all honesty, but it doesn't feel like a real memory like the ones of my dad or seem real like the horror you went through here.

I was told stories from my brother of abuse by my mom when she was younger, and my mom by my grandmother. My sister or I have never had abuse like what you describe though... Ours was mental. Like I always remembered the deadbolt and chain on the door and dumping my dad's pee, witness to swearing on the Bible he hadn't looked at other women at his job. I'm just trying to figure something out though. I'm embarrassed by the stories I had and always felt guilty for them.
I would say don't be afraid to share things that really bother you. Everybody is not the same and have different traumas and different kinds of abuse. It helps to talk about it if you are comfortable with talking about it. Especially if you find it hard to live with. If it keeps you from sleeping at night. If it gives you a lot of nightmares. If you have flashbacks that cause anxiety and stress and maybe even fear. If it makes you cry a lot. If it interferes with your ability to function and live a full and happy life.
 
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TLHKAJ

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@TLHKAJ said alters could still be used for mind control, why it is important to work through. Did I understand right, T? I do not want to put words in your mouth. But it is why I have been exploring this. If I cannot, not a real mk survivor, I'd rather just bury it. I have kids and cannot afford to unravel with them. They need me strong and spent years already working through things.
IF there is MK, yes, until you deprogram and those parts of you are free, they will be able to be cued and used by their handlers for whatever purpose they choose. And that includes alters with End Times programming that is in place for the purpose of bringing in the Antichrist.

What I would like to suggest is that you should try not fret or struggle over figuring out whether these things are a reality for you. Just take what IS there ...and has been there since way before you knew me, causing intermittent triggering and pain ...bring those to the Lord and ask Him to shine His light on them, and to show you the truth. Give Him the freedom to reveal anything that is hidden that you need to know.

It's hard to do that without going into it with preset conclusions of what He will do or what the answers are. But just bring them to Him ... acknowledge they are there, bringing you pain, and ask Him for His truth and to reveal what is at the root of your pain. Pain always has a root.

I know how you and I connected was really odd, because a member was taking your dreams and telling you that the darker tinted dreams were about me. I knew they weren't about me. They also weren't about that other person/member ....you know what I mean. God doesn't give us dreams about the lives of strangers we've never met. It's just strange to think God would give dreams and then someone comes along and "interprets" them and tells you that your dreams are about people you never met or knew existed.

I knew from the beginning that those dreams weren't given to you for me or my benefit ....if those dreams had any bearing, they would pertain to your own life in some way. God speaks to me, and I do get dreams and visions. And nothing in those dreams were confirmed to my heart by Holy Spirit to be speaking to me personally.

Yet, those dreams had dark tints and themes which as a survivor, I recognized right away. So my suggestion to you all along has been .....ask Him. I know it feels like detox not to take things like that to be interpreted by someone. But God has the answers you need.

I can answer questions and I can pray ....but ultimately, you will need to know in your heart that God is able to bring you the truth because He wants you healed and free from the pain (regardless of what is at the root).

I hope this was okay. If I said too much, please forgive me.
 
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TLHKAJ

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I never had dreams about you... Not that I was ever told. Just the other person.
The member here who interprets dreams told me that they believed your dreams were about me and then he got your permission to share them with me. (Or did he actually get your permission?? This is confusing.) Maybe he didn't get your permission at all when he said he did.....?
 
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TLHKAJ

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Anyway ....regardless of all of that ....the rest of my post I still stand by. Wherever there is pain and a sense of trauma, God's purpose is to bring truth and healing to it ....it doesn't matter if it was MK or not. The fact that there is pain and trauma of some sort warrants His attention and a need for resolution.
 
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lilygrace

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ive been told i make things up to fit in with people and such.
i feel like it happened to someone else not me.

if his abuse was serious mom wouldnt tell him about my mental health.
 
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lilygrace

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he never sold me and i never got into a situation at four where it was as detailed and much for a child such as prtending to have a child together.
im really just an ungrateful brat who makes real victims feel unsafe and violated.
 

TLHKAJ

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ive been told i make things up to fit in with people and such.
i feel like it happened to someone else not me.

if his abuse was serious mom wouldnt tell him about my mental health.
No matter if SRA or MK was involved or not, sis, the things he has done are not things a father should be doing to his daughter. Your mom is just as guilty by covering for him and blaming you. That's not how God designed mothers and fathers to treat their children. She's trying to convince you that a man touching his daughter sexually and verbally sexually harassing his daughter isn't serious and you're just mentally ill??! Wow, as a mother myself, I just don't get that. :(
 

TLHKAJ

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he never sold me and i never got into a situation at four where it was as detailed and much for a child such as prtending to have a child together.
im really just an ungrateful brat who makes real victims feel unsafe and violated.
You've never made me feel unsafe and violated. But I'm not going to force you or anyone to participate here.
 

lilygrace

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No matter if SRA or MK was involved or not, sis, the things he has done are not things a father should be doing to his daughter. Your mom is just as guilty by covering for him and blaming you. That's not how God designed mothers and fathers to treat their children. She's trying to convince you that a man touching his daughter sexually and verbally sexually harassing his daughter isn't serious and you're just mentally ill??! Wow, as a mother myself, I just don't get that. :(
i msut be mental cos i self injure in front of people.