Jostler
Well-Known Member
I think I might have really gone insane if the Lord had not intervened...but He did intervene.
Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
I felt a presence enter the room, and felt a hand press into the middle of my back. I tried to roll over so I could see this person, (to this day I think it was an angel)... but I wasn't allowed to roll over...I couldn't move.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
there was an incredible peace that seemed to flow from that hand, slowly spreading toward my head and my feet. Very shortly those wracking tears just dried up. A peace I can't possibly describe filled me.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
The angel called my name, but in a language I couldn't understand. It was a beautiful, musical language...my name in that language sounded like a series of tinkling silver bells. He said a few more sentences but I didn't comprehend any of that. All I knew was my name.
Anyway, within a minute or two I fell into a deep sleep...very deep. I slept for 12 hrs or more and woke up so rested and refreshed I couldn't believe it. That was a beginning of teaching me about tears. It wasn't until a number of years later, I had another grieving experience and He finished the lesson.
Anyway, within a minute or two I fell into a deep sleep...very deep. I slept for 12 hrs or more and woke up so rested and refreshed I couldn't believe it. That was a beginning of teaching me about tears. It wasn't until a number of years later, I had another grieving experience and He finished the lesson.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
some years later, I ended up grieving again. And this time the tears were even more violent. Immediately I thought of the first instance and wondered if I was about to lose my mind again. But these tears were different. Very different. After that first thought...I could feel I was not losing control. There was some kind of release happening as these tears flowed out...and it was healing.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
the tears got even more violent...just great wracking sobs, way too deep for words, but my mind was stable. I wasn't "losing it" 
Jostler
Well-Known Member
it went on for a long time..it physically exhausted me. But then He began to speak to me about tears. There are three kinds of tears. Tears of despair, borne on hopelessness. These are not good tears. Thats what I was crying when He had to intervene on my behalf. Grinding hopeless tears of despair. Those never end. You cry those over and over with no relief from them...no healing.
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
He showed me a picture of a huge lake with a big dam holding the water in the lake. He poked His finger into the dam. Made a small hole in it, and water came gushing out the hole....shooting out an intense, high pressure stream of water. But, I could see the water flowing into the lake was greater than the water flowing out the hole in the dam. As intense as the flow from the leak was, it could never empty the lake....ever. if something didn't happen, that flow of tears would never cease.. endless tears of despair.
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
I knew the lake represented the grief i needed to express...the dam was lies i believed to be true, that kept me from grieving....and being healed the way He designed us to.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
Jostler
Well-Known Member
Then His Hand appeared again, but this time it smashed the dam into pieces...shattered it. A great rushing wall of water came gushing out of the lake in an overwhelming flood.
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
it swept away everything, even the broken pieces of the dam.. huge chunks of concrete just swept away, downstream...out of sight.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
He said "Those are healing tears. They come to an end, and restore. There may be a lot of them to empty the lake, but you only have to cry them once. Those healing tears go in My bottle...an eternal memorial. "
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
I knew the first tears were tears of despair, but the second set were healing tears. I could see and feel the difference.
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Jostler
Well-Known Member
He spoke one more time saying "There is a third kind of tears, a kind you have never known yet, but you will. Tears of joy. Joy so great, you can't contain it will leak out in tears. I promise a day will come, when I will enjoy many tears of joy with you. Those go in My bottles too. "
Jostler
Well-Known Member
anyway....thats my understanding of tears. I hope that testimony will help others.
I have been GLUED to this thread for the last half hour.... I think this might possibly be the most PROFOUND and TOUCHING testimony I have EVER heard... This has literally taken my breath away... I am off to spend some time in meditation. THANK you for sharing this. It makes so much sense to me...