The alter is frozen in time and space, living and reliving discrete events in a cycle without beginning or end. His rage is terrifying but his honesty shakes me, and I was speechless when the Lord spoke on his behalf. I marveled and cried out,
"How can this be, Lord? He roars and lashes out blindly! If I don't keep him imprisoned then he will inflict harm upon an innocent and You know that I cannot not live with this, Lord. I would rather die than allow him freedom!"
The Lord responded swiftly. Have I forgotten how I screamed with rage at Him when He spared me from the grave? How the desire of my heart was denied and because I was blind and could not see, He was exceedingly merciful and kind toward me? Was I not dumbfounded when the Lord God Almighty praised me for being forthright in His presence, withholding nothing in my heart from Him? There was no lie on my lips.
Yes, I screamed in rage at God until I was hoarse. When the truth arrived and I grasped the futility of screaming at the Lord, I collapsed and wept until I lost consciousness. His Spirit stirred me, soothing my soul and renewing my strength, promising that He would never depart from me. So it went for two years while Christ healed this body and restored my mind... but making me whole again would be a work which will last all of my days on this earth. I didn't truly understand that until earlier this year...
Now I understand. I'm dismayed, ashamed, and horrified at what this alter has done to you, your only desire being to join yourself to the will of Jesus Christ who chose us both. He wants to declare scathing judgments and cut you off... but he's blind and cannot see, trapped in a living hell inflicted upon us many, many years ago. The Lord speaks for him in his defense, reminding me of the mercy He extended toward me, commanding me to extend the same merciful love toward him.
But he has hurt you,
@Jostler , more than once. No, I haven't been able to live with what he has done and I'm at fault for not holding him back. I'm guilty of what he has done because he is me, and I am him.