[SIZE=10pt]Before I married my husband, I told him I am insecure about cheating because, unfortunately, my dad did that to my mom and it was awful. That's all I heard growing up and it really ruined my mom's life (she stayed home with kids and didn't work, so after the divorce, she didn't have a way to support herself the same way - she was out of the work force a long time). Also, my ex-husband mistreated me and also admitted to cheating on me, so I was very suspicious about cheating, especially since it's all I heard about since I was born.
We talked a lot about it and he assured me he would never be a cheater and would understand if I was suspicious about it. He said he would just continue to reassure me. We talked in great detail how married people should avoid situations that can lead to adultery (do not spend time alone with the opposite sex, etc.). We thought it would be unlikely he would ever have a job where business trips were required, but if he ever did, he said I would always go with him. If you look it up, the statistics about cheating on business trips are pretty bad.
He just got promoted to a position where business trips are going to happen. Edited to add: he says this is a one time thing... I don't think it's going to be the only one. It said first annual, so it's at least annual. He is also claiming it doesn't count as a business trip since it's in a nearby city. Anyway, he asked if families or spouses are allowed and they told him no they are not allowed. His boss told him he needs to go on it. What should we do? I feel that he is not keeping his word and that leads me to doubt him. He is upset with me because he feels not going is going to hinder his job outlook, and it might.
I don't see how a job can tell him I can't go, if it's at our expense. I wouldn't go to the meetings or anything, just the hotel and I would do my own thing while they were in meetings.
He thinks I don't trust him, and I have to admit... I don't! I have trust issues. He hasn't helped because after ten years of marriage, he has said some hurtful things when he is mad like he can't stand me, and worse. If he can't stand me, why wouldn't he cheat?
Am I in the wrong here? I just don't want to wind up with a disease because he decided to cheat. I've heard it too many times. The stay-at-home mom winds up with something awful because their husband turned out to be a cheater, and they are completely blind-sighted by it.
What should I do?
Also wanted to add... I felt he should have told his boss that he is willing to go on every business trip there is, but he doesn't go without his wife. This is what he said he would say years ago. Now he's saying he only said what I wanted to hear. Do you think that helps me trust him? That actually made it way worse. Then, when I said that, he said he only said that because he was mad, but I don't believe him.
He wants me to add that he said he'll get me a room anyway, but he'll sleep in the company room. I think this is a bad idea for a couple of reasons.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Keep in mind, this meeting is taking place 20 minutes from our home. Why does he have to stay in a hotel instead of coming home to his family? He goes back and forth from being mad at me to thinking his work is wrong. When he is mad at me, he says stuff like "get off me" to embarrass me. Like I'm obsessed with him. Should a Christian man behave like this because his wife is concerned about him cheating?[/SIZE]
We talked a lot about it and he assured me he would never be a cheater and would understand if I was suspicious about it. He said he would just continue to reassure me. We talked in great detail how married people should avoid situations that can lead to adultery (do not spend time alone with the opposite sex, etc.). We thought it would be unlikely he would ever have a job where business trips were required, but if he ever did, he said I would always go with him. If you look it up, the statistics about cheating on business trips are pretty bad.
He just got promoted to a position where business trips are going to happen. Edited to add: he says this is a one time thing... I don't think it's going to be the only one. It said first annual, so it's at least annual. He is also claiming it doesn't count as a business trip since it's in a nearby city. Anyway, he asked if families or spouses are allowed and they told him no they are not allowed. His boss told him he needs to go on it. What should we do? I feel that he is not keeping his word and that leads me to doubt him. He is upset with me because he feels not going is going to hinder his job outlook, and it might.
I don't see how a job can tell him I can't go, if it's at our expense. I wouldn't go to the meetings or anything, just the hotel and I would do my own thing while they were in meetings.
He thinks I don't trust him, and I have to admit... I don't! I have trust issues. He hasn't helped because after ten years of marriage, he has said some hurtful things when he is mad like he can't stand me, and worse. If he can't stand me, why wouldn't he cheat?
Am I in the wrong here? I just don't want to wind up with a disease because he decided to cheat. I've heard it too many times. The stay-at-home mom winds up with something awful because their husband turned out to be a cheater, and they are completely blind-sighted by it.
What should I do?
Also wanted to add... I felt he should have told his boss that he is willing to go on every business trip there is, but he doesn't go without his wife. This is what he said he would say years ago. Now he's saying he only said what I wanted to hear. Do you think that helps me trust him? That actually made it way worse. Then, when I said that, he said he only said that because he was mad, but I don't believe him.
He wants me to add that he said he'll get me a room anyway, but he'll sleep in the company room. I think this is a bad idea for a couple of reasons.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Keep in mind, this meeting is taking place 20 minutes from our home. Why does he have to stay in a hotel instead of coming home to his family? He goes back and forth from being mad at me to thinking his work is wrong. When he is mad at me, he says stuff like "get off me" to embarrass me. Like I'm obsessed with him. Should a Christian man behave like this because his wife is concerned about him cheating?[/SIZE]