Just curious....

[Hidden In Him]

Bad advice, brother. How can one be free until they know the truth? In my experience people who gave this advice only hindered my healing. When I gave up their imposed guilt and shame, and gave in to the Lord, He brought me to the roots and brought true healing and freedom.

Different backgrounds. A victim of mind-control needs to remember to self-integrate. An integrated person who hasn't been fragmented does better to not dwell on negative memories but instead think on that which is of good report (Philippians 4:8).

 

[amadeus]

Okay... I have 2 curious questions that may seem odd. Idk if I'll have any takers. lol

1.What is your earliest memory?

2. Do you remember the layout of the home your family lived in when you were 1 yr old?

My very earliest memory was in the only home I shared with father in his lifetime. My older brother and I were left with my maternal grandmother in our home. It was in Oklahoma City the only place my father ever lived excepting his military service time.

Grandma was busy with something elsewhere so me and my brother decided to clear the laundry in the bathroom by flushing it all down the toilet. We succeeded only in clogging it enough that water spilled out all over the floor and grandma was quite perturbed with us.

I was born in December of 1943. My mother divorced my father and moved with her two boys to California when he inducted in the U.S. Army during WWII. I cannot pinpoint the time of the event more exactly than that. It was late in the war as his only overseas duty was a part of the occupation of Japan after the surrender in 1945.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Different backgrounds. A victim of mind-control needs to remember to self-integrate. An integrated person who hasn't been fragmented does better to not dwell on negative memories but instead think on that which is of good report (Philippians 4:8).

I have met people who experienced general trauma but didn't split and had no formal programming, etc ...who God took to a childhood memory in order to expose strongholds in their minds, and bring them the truth. We're all made the same. He will do it if a person is wiling to be free from their fear based thinking.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Different backgrounds. A victim of mind-control needs to remember to self-integrate. An integrated person who hasn't been fragmented does better to not dwell on negative memories but instead think on that which is of good report (Philippians 4:8).

I don't know why but my brother, who was 11 months younger than me (he passed in 2016), somehow ended up with very negative memories of us growing up. I honestly couldn't remember the things he said happened, to him particularly. I thought he was just being too negative and not remembering things too well. He basically said I was not remembering correctly because I had shut those memories out. God as my witness, I don't think I did that at all.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

My older brother and I were left with my maternal grandmother in our home.

I have fond memories of being at grandma's house when I was about four years old. I remember riding on the train with her after she had bought me a really cool plastic car. A 60's Jaguar, I think it was.

My brother probably remembered it as grandma trying to run us over with her 1960's Jaguar, lol.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I have fond memories of being at grandma's house when I was about four years old. I remember riding on the train with her after she had bought me a really cool plastic car. A 60's Jaguar, I think it was.

What color was the car? (Just curious, lol....)

 

[Hidden In Him]

I have met people who experienced general trauma but didn't split and had no formal programming, etc ...who God took to a childhood memory in order to expose strongholds in their minds, and bring them the truth. We're all made the same. He will do it if a person is wiling to be free from their fear based thinking.

just saying not to assume everyone's not so pleasant memories from childhood were traumatic. I just recall stuff of no great consequence but that aren't really worth revisiting...

How about my first memories after getting saved? Those I have a bunch of, all good.

 

[TLHKAJ]

just saying not to assume everyone's not so pleasant memories from childhood were traumatic. I just recall stuff of no great consequence but that aren't really worth revisiting...

How about my first memories after getting saved? Those I have a bunch of, all good.

Your very first memory is traumatic? Do you not have any fond childhood memories?
If they weren't traumatic, then where's the aversion and fear coming from? I'm sure you at least have some sort of good memories from childhood.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

What color was the car? (Just curious, lol....)

Oh, man, I'm so glad you asked!
It was kind of a beige color. Like this...


Besides it being a really cool car, my oldest brother had a slot car version of it in this color, and I'm thinking there was one in the 60's TV show The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I don't know why but my brother, who was 11 months younger than me (he passed in 2016), somehow ended up with very negative memories of us growing up. I honestly couldn't remember the things he said happened, to him particularly. I thought he was just being too negative and not remembering things too well. He basically said I was not remembering correctly because I had shut those memories out. God as my witness, I don't think I did that at all.

I think part of it is that people are just built different. I remember the unhappy stuff more as a child simply because I'm highly sensitive, and disappointments used to make a bigger impression on my mind than maybe upon others. Nowadays I'd be a basket case if I dealt with life that way, Lol, but after many years of walking with Christ as a soldier I've trained myself to think of all things positively, including others who have done me wrong. I'm just mentally disciplined enough now to set aside negative thoughts, but I wasn't that way as a child.

 

[amadeus]

In my first memory in California, we lived in Watsonville at Wall Street Court. It was a tiny one room apartment like dwelling sandwiched between similar dwellings in the same long shallow building. The tiny apartments did not have back doors. The front door opened onto a narrow dirt area which frontaged all of the tiny apartments. There was no sidewalk. My brother and I used to sit in the dirt playing. At the outer edge of the dirt area perhaps 15-20 feet from our door was the city street.

We lived there while my step-father was building a house for us in San Juan Bautista about 15 miles away. He had a job in San Juan Bautista at the Ideal Cement Plant. We moved to San Juan when he finished the house.

The house he built had a front/living/bedroom where my parents slept and kitchen/bedroom where my brother and me slept, A tiny hallway connected the two rooms with a tiny bathroom on one side of the hallway. It was some time after moving into that house that I started the 1st grade at age 6 [1949]. I lived in the same house until the second half of my senior year [1961] in high school. By that time my step-father had added three more rooms to the house.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Your very first memory is traumatic? Do you not have any fond childhood memories?

Mmmm... My parents didn't get along well, and fought a lot. And my mother was gone pretty often, so I was raised by a father that mostly just made sure I had enough to eat and was protected, but who had his own world to deal with and didn't always spend a ton of time connecting with me. Not that he did anything wrong, because I'm built the same way he is. I spend a lot of time thinking.

If they weren't traumatic, then where's the aversion and fear coming from? I'm sure you at least have some sort of good memories from childhood.

I did have a few. My father took me with some friends to Canada one time and everybody went smelt fishing. That was really fun. You had to take these big nets out into the water and then drag them in, trapping the smelt when you dragged the nets ashore. They were REALLY good when cooked. I love the water, so maybe that was part of it too, but that was a really fun weekend.

 

[amadeus]

I think she has me on 'ignore', lol.
Come to think of it, I think you do too, lol.

Unity or?

 

[TLHKAJ]

I think part of it is that people are just built different. I remember the unhappy stuff more as a child simply because I'm highly sensitive, and disappointments used to make a bigger impression on my mind than maybe upon others. Nowadays I'd be a basket case if I dealt with life that way, Lol, but after many years of walking with Christ as a soldier I've trained myself to think of all things positively, including others who have done me wrong. I'm just mentally disciplined enough now to set aside negative thoughts, but I wasn't that way as a child.

For 3 years before I began allowing God to take me "back there", I was feeling led of Him to write and journal the things in my past that I remembered, from birth to present. (This was in the late 1990's and early 2000's.) I thought I only had a few specific memories (from ages 2, 3, 7, 10, and 13/14) and they were very traumatic. The rest were huge gaps. My mind put up blocks and walls that didn't allow me to go back and revisit my past. But in 2002, when I finally began to journal, God began to open up a lot more detail, as those mental barriers began to come down. They were trauma memories ....and so one would ask, "What's the purpose in remembering negative things?!" But this was God-led. It wasn't long before He began reconnecting me with alter personalities, and mending my brokenness.

And.... the added bonus is that once I let go ...and faced my fear of my past ...I was free to remember the good memories. Those memories were always there ...I just didn't allow myself to grasp hold of even the good memories for the fear of the bad ones.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Mmmm... My parents didn't get along well, and fought a lot. And my mother was gone pretty often, so I was raised by a father that mostly just made sure I had enough to eat and was protected, but who had his own world to deal with and didn't always spend a ton of time connecting with me. Not that he did anything wrong, because I'm built the same way he is. I spend a lot of time thinking.


I did have a few. My father took me with some friends to Canada one time and everybody went smelt fishing. That was really fun. You had to take these big nets out into the water and then drag them in, trapping the smelt when you dragged the nets ashore. They were REALLY good when cooked. I love the water, so maybe that was part of it too, but that was a really fun weekend.

Very cool! See? That wasn't hard!

(What's smelt fishing? I could look it up, but you could tell me. lol)

 

[amadeus]

Oh, man, I'm so glad you asked!
It was kind of a beige color. Like this...
View attachment 18692

Besides it being a really cool car, my oldest brother had a slot car version of it in this color, and I'm thinking there was one in the 60's TV show The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

I remember that show. Dr. Ducky Mallard [David McCallum], the M.E. from the more current NCIS co-starred with Robert Vaughn in Man from U.N.C.L.E. I watched a lot of TV in those days. More recently NCIS is one of the few I have watched.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Very cool! See? That wasn't hard!

(What's smelt fishing? I could look it up, but you could tell me. lol)

Thing is, that was when I was like seven, so we're talking well into childhood.

They're these small little fish. Kinda like a sardine, only we fried them.

 

[DuckieLady]

Okay... I have 2 curious questions that may seem odd. Idk if I'll have any takers. lol

1.What is your earliest memory?

2. Do you remember the layout of the home your family lived in when you were 1 yr old?

My earliest memory was probably as a toddler. I was in a big house and my mom brought me a spinning top and one of those springy slingy things.

And also my mom and my grandmother used to sing me the song "You Are My Sunshine."

 

[Mantis]

@Mantis So I guess you couldn't speak yet...

Nope just cry

 

[farouk]

Nope just cry

@Mantis Well, I guess so.....