Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

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Rita

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Sorry... I didn't want to make you upset.

Look, I have problems trusting or even processing your answers (and not only your answers) because of all the horrible things that I have seen where I live. It sometimes sounds like we live in two different worlds. Maybe I will have to actually consider moving away, like another one suggested. This place only brings me pain and bitterness.
Where in the U.K. do you live ?
 
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Josho

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Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

As a single man myself, I can't give much advice on this, but you are perhaps asking too many requirements, obviously if they aren't equally yoked then definitely stay away, but......

An extroverted girl may be a good thing for you, not all extroverts are immoral, there are some good people around, just because someone has a number of friends doesn't mean they are up to all the things you mentioned.

There are modest, humble, respectful, Jesus loving Christian women (who can be introverts and extroverts) out there who may have a number of friends, who may also become your friends too, so an extroverted Christian woman for you could actually be a good thing.

Also you are only 21, no rush. :)
 

BarneyFife

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Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.
I've been married nearly 40 years and it has been wonderful, rewarding, and fulfilling but, at the same time, it has been a rough road. You are very, very astute to be so apprehensive. I was raised by strict, conservative parents who never spoke the word "divorce" in our home unless it was in reference to some other couple or situation and, even then, only occasionally. I was taught that marriage was for a lifetime. Period. I wasn't even really aware that divorce in case of adultery was acceptable. My wife and I were not very religious when we met and we fought like cats and dogs. Yet, we loved each other terribly. My best friend at the time, who was divorced, once quipped that we should just skip the marriage and go straight to the divorce. My wife was ready to throw me out on several occasions. She can be very obstinate and exacting. I finally convinced her, after a few years, that I would never agree to a divorce. She knew she could get one without my approval, but once she realized I was serious, she never spoke of us separating again. She has also been the best wife and mother to my children I could imagine ever having chosen. God has been very good to us.

You don't need to concern yourself with where you should be looking. Obviously, you're not going to want to go bar-hopping to find a wife, but your main concern should be to find an emotionally stable and intelligent girl who will consider being open-minded about remaining by your side on your spiritual journey. You should not expect her to follow you blindly. But (just for example) if you are a Pentecostal Lutheran and decide somewhere down the line that Methodism or Anglicanism might be wiser for your family, she should, at least, be open to exploring that with you. Again, you should never, ever compel her to violate her conscience (Religious liberty is actually what the Gospel is largely about). Because if you do that at all you will either destroy your marriage or consign her to a life of hypocrisy and spiritual emptiness.

If you are serious about this in a very spiritual manner, and not just looking to make life easier on yourself (forgive me for being so frank but this subject calls for frankness), you need to pray and fast earnestly as if your spiritual life and glorifying God depends on it. Because it very well may. And because you need to be open to God's leading. If God could make Adam a wife from his rib, He's not going to have any trouble making yours and a suitable, potential bride's paths meet. Don't leave it up to superstition or chemical attraction, whatever you do. These things will cause you to veer from the path of God's revealed will in His Word--if I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. Follow this and other wise advice and you will thrive and prosper much. I'm sure you will do just fine.
 

ShyIntrovert

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What country are you in? (Nevermind, I looked at your profile. You are in Scotland?)
And can you share some of the things you've seen that cause you not to trust people? I know you've mentioned failed marriages, but can you be more specific?
Yes.

Their behaviour especially. Everyone just wants fast fun and social approval. Introverts and Christians are not only mocked but also humiliated and bullied. Like if they discover someone is a devout Christian then everyone will go against that person. It is shocking that this happens in a Western country, yes, but the culture is strongly anti-Christian and will even be worse in the future.

And people raised in the church are just as bad as outside. People even joke that women go to church when they get an abortion. Not to say churches here are full of single mums, literally FULL of them. Everything is broken in this place and no matter where you look you only get wickedness and immorality.

Even my own mother (which is a rather optimistic person) suggested once that I should consider remaining single and not marrying. There's NOTHING encouraging here in Scotland.
 

TLHKAJ

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Yes.

Their behaviour especially. Everyone just wants fast fun and social approval. Introverts and Christians are not only mocked but also humiliated and bullied. Like if they discover someone is a devout Christian then everyone will go against that person. It is shocking that this happens in a Western country, yes, but the culture is strongly anti-Christian and will even be worse in the future.

And people raised in the church are just as bad as outside. People even joke that women go to church when they get an abortion. Not to say churches here are full of single mums, literally FULL of them. Everything is broken in this place and no matter where you look you only get wickedness and immorality.

Even my own mother (which is a rather optimistic person) suggested once that I should consider remaining single and not marrying. There's NOTHING encouraging here in Scotland.
I think your views are what they are because you haven't had a chance to experience life outside a very small circle. It sounds like you're in a toxic environment.
 

ShyIntrovert

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I think your views are what they are because you haven't had a chance to experience life outside a very small circle. It sounds like you're in a toxic environment.
No, it's like this all over my region. I have been in other towns and the story was always the same.
 

Jay Ross

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And people raised in the church are just as bad as outside. People even joke that women go to church when they get an abortion. Not to say churches here are full of single mums, literally FULL of them. Everything is broken in this place and no matter where you look you only get wickedness and immorality.

It seems to me that your understanding of the Church is somewhat perverted.

Did Jesus go to all the "healthy" saints in Israel? No, he went to the broken people of Israel. Those who needed healing. Those who needed salvation.

If churches are for only "healthy" saints, then they are missing the mark for what their purpose in this world is for.

In Luke 4:18-19, Jesus defined as His mission statement for Himself these verses taken from Isaiah 61:1-2: -

Luke 4:18-19
18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord."​
NKJV

Now, if the church is not a place where people come to receive help because they are poor, or heart broken, to proclaim the liberty that Christ gives to those who believe in Him, to open the eyes and the ears of people to the True word of the Lord, then that Church is not a fit place to stay in. Churches should be messy, have people who are poor in spirit, who need God's healing of their spirit so that they can receive God's spirit of Liberty as their ears and eyes are opened to the True word of God.

Was King David or Bathsheba always righteous in what they did? No, they were not, but God was able to use them for His purposes in His earthly Kingdom.

God can do that with all of the broken people who are willing to humble themselves and repent and turn to God for their strength.

Why are you looking at the people in the church that you are presently attending through rose coloured glasses and particularly judging the women as to whether they are suitable "material" for a wife.

I am sure you have heard the phrase: -

"Oh, he has his head in the clouds of delusion and is of no earthly use for the people on the face of the earth."​

If you are truly walking with the Lord, let Him order your steps and the choices that you make as you walk with Him in your life's journey of Salvation.

Shalom
 

ShyIntrovert

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It seems to me that your understanding of the Church is somewhat perverted.

Did Jesus go to all the "healthy" saints in Israel? No, he went to the broken people of Israel. Those who needed healing. Those who needed salvation.

If churches are for only "healthy" saints, then they are missing the mark for what their purpose in this world is for.

In Luke 4:18-19, Jesus defined as His mission statement for Himself these verses taken from Isaiah 61:1-2: -

Luke 4:18-19
18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord."​
NKJV

Now, if the church is not a place where people come to receive help because they are poor, or heart broken, to proclaim the liberty that Christ gives to those who believe in Him, to open the eyes and the ears of people to the True word of the Lord, then that Church is not a fit place to stay in. Churches should be messy, have people who are poor in spirit, who need God's healing of their spirit so that they can receive God's spirit of Liberty as their ears and eyes are opened to the True word of God.

Was King David or Bathsheba always righteous in what they did? No, they were not, but God was able to use them for His purposes in His earthly Kingdom.

God can do that with all of the broken people who are willing to humble themselves and repent and turn to God for their strength.

Why are you looking at the people in the church that you are presently attending through rose coloured glasses and particularly judging the women as to whether they are suitable "material" for a wife.

I am sure you have heard the phrase: -

"Oh, he has his head in the clouds of delusion and is of no earthly use for the people on the face of the earth."​

If you are truly walking with the Lord, let Him order your steps and the choices that you make as you walk with Him in your life's journey of Salvation.

Shalom
The thing is that most of them don't go to church to seek the Lord, but becase they are desperate to get a man they can enslave and suck all the money they want from.
 

TLHKAJ

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No, it's like this all over my region. I have been in other towns and the story was always the same.
Are you interviewing these people and getting their life full stories? Or just observing and drawing conclusions?
 
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TLHKAJ

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The thing is that most of them don't go to church to seek the Lord, but becase they are desperate to get a man they can enslave and suck all the money they want from.
So all the women are evil and all the men are saints?
 

ShyIntrovert

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So all the women are evil and all the men are saints?
No. I was saying that since men in churches are known for being weak and naive, the single mums go there so that they can take advantage of a man who is willing to be their doormat.

But I'm sure there are also some men seeking women for personal advantage. The thing is that since family laws are blatantly in favour of women, a man has much less to win from a marriage than a woman, and as such the ungodly men will often simply use women for one night stands.
 

ShyIntrovert

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Are you interviewing these people and getting their life full stories? Or just observing and drawing conclusions?
Observing the social environment around. And really can't I draw any conclusions if all I see is people getting drunk in the streets and sleeping with infinite partners?
 

Enoch111

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No. I was saying that since men in churches are known for being weak and naive, the single mums go there so that they can take advantage of a man who is willing to be their doormat.
Shy introverts should love that scenario, don't you think?:cool:
 
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TLHKAJ

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I don't know about others, but I absolutely don't like it.

That's the very reason I'm here. I don't want to find myself enslaved by a woman.
You have very skewed views of both men and women. I advise that you don't marry. I don't think you'll ever find what you think you need. And you're not willing to seek God or ask Him to send you the wife He has for you.
 
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ShyIntrovert

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You have very skewed views of both men and women. I advise that you don't marry. I don't think you'll ever find what you think you need. And you're not willing to seek God or ask Him to send you the wife He has for you.
How would you define "the wife God has for me"? And how would you difference it from "what I think I need"?
 

ShyIntrovert

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Seriously I do not understand all that fuss about the supposed wife God has for me. He will not pick anything for me. I simply can't believe that He just does all the work for us. Would someone find their special spouse if they lived alone in an abandoned island in the Pacific but prayed 7 hours everyday for God to give them a spouse? Just asking.

And honestly, if you think an extrovert wife is better for me, just tell me directly and explain why do you think it's better for me. I can't figure out what you are trying to manifest through criticism.
 

Cassandra

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I think the last thing you need is a wife right now. Your heart is very angry toward women. You speak about them as if they are dogs.(with apologies to those wonderful furry friends God has blest us with.

Weren't you complaining about single moms? How do you think they became or were single moms? Some man was involved. Why are you not ragging on the men who have left women to fend for themselves?
 

Cassandra

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The thing is that most of them don't go to church to seek the Lord, but becase they are desperate to get a man they can enslave and suck all the money they want from.
This is SO not true. I'm telling ya, you must be hanging with some dude who is divorced and has to pay child support. He should have to. The amount of Child Support is determined by the Court, not the woman.
 
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TLHKAJ

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Seriously I do not understand all that fuss about the supposed wife God has for me. He will not pick anything for me. I simply can't believe that He just does all the work for us. Would someone find their special spouse if they lived alone in an abandoned island in the Pacific but prayed 7 hours everyday for God to give them a spouse? Just asking.
If you're alone on a deserted island and want a wife, you better pray or you'll most likely never marry. Lol

Do you pray at all? Do you read the Bible? I have to wonder, because you have little faith in God's willingness to hear and answer prayer. And you disregard scripture that has been posted that instructs us to pray and ask God when we have needs. If having a wife is a need, consider what scripture says about needs.

Philippians 4:19
[19]But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.


If you don't ask, you're not going to receive.

James 4:2-3
[2]Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
[3]Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.


And if you lack faith in God, start reading the Bible. The scripture below explains how that reading and hearing God's Word increases our ability to hear His voice. And hearing His voice brings faith.

Romans 10:17
[17]So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

 
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