Why is there no men's forum?

[Matthias]

I understand your train of thought Matthias, and it’s a solid point. My response was in context of the original request for the forum. However , something to consider, Christian’s are not allowed to start threads in the non Christian forums. So that Would complicate matters further. All of us, I hope would feel able to come alongside non believers if they raised an issue within a thread on the non Christian forums.

I appreciate your reply. It’s probably a moot point but it could be located in the area of the forum (“Christian Formation & Apologetics”) where this discussion is taking place to accommodate them (since this area of the Board isn’t designated “Christians Only”.)

The women, so far as I’m aware, are happy with it where it is. (If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.)

 

[TLHKAJ]

TLHKAJ, that is not "a man thing" since women can be the same way, so its not really a man or woman thing per se' its just behaving in an ungodly manner, whoever they may be (whether its a man or woman) they should just be banned rather than create new spaces to escape them.

I agree that women can have those same flaws, absolutely. But you know that men love to lord over women just because they're a man and believe Scripture gives them that right ...and then that is their excuse for being hateful, abusive, condescending, bullying, etc. That's what happened on nearly every thread with a handful of men on this forum and they wouldn't listen to Scripture if it was presented by a woman unless the woman agreed to their interpretation. They dominated every thread. And in order to actually be able to discuss things without the strife, I myself asked for a women's forum.

 

[Truly]

I agree that women can have those same flaws, absolutely. But you know that men love to lord over women just because they're a man and believe Scripture gives them that right ...and then that is their excuse for being hateful, abusive, condescending, bullying, etc. That's what happened on nearly every thread with a handful of men on this forum and they wouldn't listen to Scripture if it was presented by a woman unless the woman agreed to their interpretation. They dominated every thread. And in order to actually be able to discuss things without the strife, I myself asked for a women's forum.

I hear what you are saying TLHKAJ, and I understand your experience (especially on online forums) but this is not about a man or woman thing in the Lord Jesus Christ, when it come to abusing anyone, this should have more to do with ungodly behavior in men in this case (even though the same behaviors can come in by women). It shouldn't have to be that one group needs to divide from the other on the basis that men are the problem (they are not) its just "certain men" in this case. Which I would think would be handled on another level, but as you said, "it is what it is".

I was looking at the Womens forum, and the topics (for the greater part) are really exclusive to women only, just made to be that way, by excluding men on the basis of nothing really when you examine the threads. Obviously there are a few men would likely roll their eyes at (the girly stuff) but there are some women who would be doing just the same alongside the men in certain cases.

These two threads probably stood out as more specifically for women only (one of which is yours)

Women in Crisis (content being about abusive husbands)
Estranged from children (a personal experience of abuse)

And these 3 threads are girly girl threads

Pretty clothes, self tanner, body make up (all of which a man apostle has pretty much summed such things up 1 Peter 3:3, Prov 31:30) I doubt a man would even care to join in any of these

But the rest of them (for example) are

A Good morning thread (Good morning to women only but not for men)

A Good night thread (Good night thread for women only but not for men)

A Thank God for common sense thread (for women only, but not for men)

A Single serving the Lord thread (for single women only but not for single men)

An Acheiving something in a year thread (picture responses only) but picture responses for women only, but not for men

A Prayer warrior thread (This could be moved into the prayer forum section) I do not know why its for women only and not for men

A Proverbs 31 Woman thread (Proverbs was written by a man) but the topic is for women only but not for men

A Question thread, which is about ripping into the "old man" but this is for women only not for men

A Dark place thread (where Bob, a man responds, whose response spoke to her spirit) but it was for women and not for men

A Praise and worship songs thread (wherein many men singing songs in them) but this is for women not for men

A Cannot stop laughing memes thread (containing male inclusive memes) but this is for women only, and again not for men

An Encouraging posts thread (Which contain posts with pictures with scriptures written on them) for women to post these pictures only not for men to do so.

A "Let there be light" thread, which just contains a link to facebook article, which is for women but not for men (But I, as a woman cannot even view it without facebook acct.) which I dont want

A Parenting thread (even though we each have two parents, and its not specifically for single parents) this is for women only to comment on and not for men (who are the other parent)

A Brainwashing/conditioning thread, where again the best answer came from a man that likely posted there forgetting it was a womans forum.

Seems a little pointless (and this is coming from a woman). I might jump on here and there only because it pops up on "whats new" and I forget about where its located (as do the men obviously who end up posting there).

Most of it does not have anything to do with being a woman, and excludes men from commenting on topics they should be a part of. I would use my ignore button rather then exclude all men from it on a basis of a few bad apples.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Most of it does not have anything to do with being a woman, and excludes men from commenting on topics they should be a part of. I would use my ignore button rather then exclude all men from it on a basis of a few bad apples.

It's up to women to decide where they want ro place a thread. If men want a men's forum, they can ask for one. Women tend to like to discuss things that pertain to women. It's out of the way for men bc they don't tend to gravitate toward threads about women's vintage clothing. lol

Why is this being made into such a big deal?

An ignore button doesn't always prevent one from seeing unkind and abusive posts made by another member. I can click on a thread and it will show me the last post that was made whether I have them on ignore or not.

If the women's forum seems pointless to you, then don't participate in it. But if I, as a woman who has had to deal with trauma, abuse, control, etc from mostly men, want to have a safe space to discuss why a woman in a DV situation (or worse) is Biblically able to leave, separate, or even divorce her husband ....I need to be able to do that without some professing Christian man saying a woman's body is not her own so that gives her husband the right to do whatever he wants, even if that means submitting them to physical and sexual abuse by their husband and/or other men ....or having professing Christian men laugh when a woman shares that she experienced such things.

So ...there is the option of a Women's Only Forum ....honestly, bc women need a safe space. There are several men on this forum who I respect, and if every man were like them, we wouldn't need a Women's Forum. But ... that's not the case.

 

[Kayla McCanny]

It's up to women to decide where they want ro place a thread. If men want a men's forum, they can ask for one. Women tend to like to discuss things that pertain to women. It's out of the way for men bc they don't tend to gravitate toward threads about women's vintage clothing. lol

Why is this being made into such a big deal?

An ignore button doesn't always prevent one from seeing unkind and abusive posts made by another member. I can click on a thread and it will show me the last post that was made whether I have them on ignore or not.

If the women's forum seems pointless to you, then don't participate in it. But if I, as a woman who has had to deal with trauma, abuse, control, etc from mostly men, want to have a safe space to discuss why a woman in a DV situation (or worse) is Biblically able to leave, separate, or even divorce her husband ....I need to be able to do that without some professing Christian man saying a woman's body is not her own so that gives her husband the right to do whatever he wants, even if that means submitting them to physical and sexual abuse by their husband and/or other men ....or having professing Christian men laugh when a woman shares that she experienced such things.

So ...there is the option of a Women's Only Forum ....honestly, bc women need a safe space. There are several men on this forum who I respect, and if every man were like them, we wouldn't need a Women's Forum. Bur ... that's not the case.

I don't think the women's forum is focused on disrespectful men. It's more like make up and well women stuff. I would think a men forum to be about books, tools, car maintenance, grilling. Idk. Whatever it is men like to talk about. Many people say men don't, but some men talk a lot. I mean they write books too. Maybe it could be a safe place for them. Some have no father figures and everyone is trying to learn different skills in life, Whatever that may be and need encouragement and advice and encouragement in their relationship with God and relationship with others aswell. I just asked because I didn't want anyone to feel excluded. I like having a woman only forum. I didn't know men felt different about having a men's forum, but I don't speak for everyone. Maybe some do. *shrugs* I'm new so I was just curious. I think in high school many years back I belonged to a forum that had both, men and women forums. To each their own. I think if it is something men would want then they should. I don't know though. I'm not a man.

 

[Matthias]

One can only wonder what Christian newbies are thinking about if / when they read this thread.

I’m going to exit the thread now. For what it’s worth, put me down as a no vote for a man only thread. Whatever you decide about it is fine with me. I don’t think it would be located in a forum I’m able to post in.

 

[Truly]

It's up to women to decide where they want ro place a thread. If men want a men's forum, they can ask for one. Women tend to like to discuss things that pertain to women.

That just it, there is not really alot of threads that pertain to just women posted in that forum when you actually sit back and look at it. Not to mention, whatever is there is not taking up much traction as if that were actually true that women like discussing women things.

It's out of the way for men bc they don't tend to gravitate toward threads about women's vintage clothing. lol

I posted on the one for kicks trying to see if I could find a little dress that was posted earlier (but on ebay) to se if I could. And I don't wear dresses, never have, maybe one over something like thirty years ago,

So here I am having a moment of boredom challenging myself to find something comparable (used) but would never be caught dead in it haha

Why is this being made into such a big deal?

Having special forums away from others is not my deal at all, they have one here for women, and the OP wants to know where the men's forum is, and I am just trying to figure out what the big deal is in having such forums.

Because when you actually look at the womens forum there is not alot of women topics, but rather topics that exclude men rather.

An ignore button doesn't always prevent one from seeing unkind and abusive posts made by another member. I can click on a thread and it will show me the last post that was made whether I have them on ignore or not.

If the women's forum seems pointless to you, then don't participate in it.

I don't go out of my way to do so, it just comes up in the "Whats new" section and I will jump on for posting a song (not even taking note as to what forum I am on). Yesterday I did.

However, you are using my words "pointless" as if I have offended you personally when I have not, when I said the womens forum seems pointless as if its for women only, I am pointing out that the threads are not women related for the most part and that is the pointlessness I was pointing out.

But if I, as a woman who has had to deal with trauma, abuse, control, etc from mostly men, want to have a safe space to discuss why a woman in a DV situation (or worse) is Biblically able to leave, separate, or even divorce her husband ....I need to be able to do that without some professing Christian man saying a woman's body is not her own so that gives her husband the right to do whatever he wants, even if that means submitting them to physical and sexual abuse by their husband and/or other men ....or having professing Christian men laugh when a woman shares that she experienced such things.

So ...there is the option of a Women's Only Forum ....honestly, bc women need a safe space. There are several men on this forum who I respect, and if every man were like them, we wouldn't need a Women's Forum. Bur ... that's not the case.

Its not like its some exclusively private womens club where men can't read what you are posting, and its not like they can't take one of your topics from there and drag it into the main forum and present your one sided arguments from your safe space into another thread (and without mentioning your name) participate in such a topic that way. Because every man here can read what you are posting (while desiring to exclude them from it, but only so far as them adding any words into a thread).

For me, I would not discuss the kinds of things you seem to feel comfortable sharing openly (even if with women on a womens only forum) where all the men cannot contribute, but where they can just read. I am probably MORE privacy conscious than you are (in reality) because I personally would not discuss some of the things you might feel comfortable with sharing before all. So on the one hand you are comfortable with sharing things (I would not online) while on the other hand you do not feel comfortable with any man contributing but are fine with the men reading only.

That's you, you do you.

typo edit

 

[Truly]

I don't think the women's forum is focused on disrespectful men. It's more like make up and well women stuff.

The girly stuff was all posted yesterday if you go back and look

For example,

The pretty clothes thread by Wynona is new having posted yesterday

The self tanner thread is by you and is new also having posted yesterday

And the body make up thread is by you and is the same, all three were posted yesterday.

So since the forum was opened those three top threads did not exist until yesterday and it can give an appearance that its "more like" make up and womens things these being up at the top.

But most of the topics are not, they just eclude all men for the sake of excluding men over a few bad apples

 

[TLHKAJ]

That just it, there is not really alot of threads that pertain to just women posted in that forum when you actually sit back and look at it. Not to mention, whatever is there is not taking up much traction as if that were actually true that women like discussing women things.

It doesn't matter. The option is there if women need it. And sometimes, it is needed. It shouldn't be a huge issue. Just don't use it if you don't like it. Why complain?

 

[TLHKAJ]

Having special forums away from others is not my deal at all, they have one here for women, and the OP wants to know where the men's forum is, and I am just trying to figure out what the big deal is in having such forums.

The OP is a woman. lol
Let the men speak for themselves. Some have. If they don't want one, or don't care one way or the other, that's their prerogative. I don't feel guilty for requesting a women's forum. I had a very good reason for doing so. And it's there should any woman want or need to use it.

 

[TLHKAJ]

But most of the topics are not, they just eclude all men for the sake of excluding men over a few bad apples

Are the men complaining?

I could post the really serious subjects in the general forum and it would get overrun by men saying I'm a "liberal feminist making things up." I don't have time for that.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I am probably MORE privacy conscious than you are (in reality) because I personally would not discuss some of the things you might feel comfortable with sharing before all. So on the one hand you are comfortable with sharing things (I would not online) while on the other hand you do not feel comfortable with any man contributing but are fine with the men reading only.

That's you, you do you.

So ....is this the real complaint you have?

FYI, I do not use my given name for a very good reason. And also FYI, God has called me to spread awareness of things most in the churches avoid. I am to be a voice for others who haven't found courage to speak or walk toward freedom. God hasn't called me to the sidelines. I advocate for trauma survivors, especially women and children. That is where God has called me ...to speak, to advocate, to educate, and to support other survivors of severe trauma. If you have issues with that .....ask Him. I speak where He leads.

 

[TLHKAJ]

But most of the topics are not, they just eclude all men for the sake of excluding men over a few bad apples

I have a whooooole longstanding thread in the "co-ed" forum where men and women can and have contributed. It isn't there as a debate thread. It is an awareness and survivor support thread.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I don't think the women's forum is focused on disrespectful men. It's more like make up and well women stuff. I would think a men forum to be about books, tools, car maintenance, grilling. Idk. Whatever it is men like to talk about. Many people say men don't, but some men talk a lot. I mean they write books too. Maybe it could be a safe place for them. Some have no father figures and everyone is trying to learn different skills in life, Whatever that may be and need encouragement and advice and encouragement in their relationship with God and relationship with others aswell. I just asked because I didn't want anyone to feel excluded. I like having a woman only forum. I didn't know men felt different about having a men's forum, but I don't speak for everyone. Maybe some do. *shrugs* I'm new so I was just curious. I think in high school many years back I belonged to a forum that had both, men and women forums. To each their own. I think if it is something men would want then they should. I don't know though. I'm not a man.

lol ... me neither. (That last statement made me giggle for some reason...lol.)

If they want one, they'll request one. I actually asked for a private forum for women so that it would be a place where potentially women who were in a bad situation could talk with other women and too, it wouldn't be viewable by non-members. But that's not doable at this time, apparently.

 

[Truly]

The OP is a woman. lol

What makes you think I dont know she is a woman?

Let the men speak for themselves. Some have. If they don't want one, or don't care one way or the other, that's their prerogative.

I have no issues with men speaking

I don't feel guilty for requesting a women's forum. I had a very good reason for doing so. And it's there should any woman want or need to use it.

Why should you feel guilty for requesting a womans forum?

 

[TLHKAJ]

What makes you think I dont know she is a woman?

I have no issues with men speaking


Why should you feel guilty for requesting a womans forum?

Why are you making an issue over there being a women's forum, or the way the women are using it?

 

[Truly]

It doesn't matter. The option is there if women need it. And sometimes, it is needed. It shouldn't be a huge issue. Just don't use it if you don't like it. Why complain?

Its not a big deal to me, I am not the one pressing the issue for compartmentalized forums, or care to lock anyone out or be locked into safe spaces, its just a typical online forum.

As a woman I would not advise another woman to speak of sensitive things on any online forum, cristian or not its not locked to public view, and as a woman I would not advise a woman to go spill her guts there.

Sometimes women might need a safe space from other overreactive women too, maybe we can get one of those up and running too

 

[Truly]

Why are you making an issue over there being a women's forum, or the way the women are using it?

I am only answering your posts, what am I making an issue about when I am simply answering your posts?

Can't another woman hold a different opinion from yours?

If not why not?

 

[Truly]

So ....is this the real complaint you have?

What complaint?

FYI, I do not use my given name for a very good reason. And also FYI, God has called me to spread awareness of things most in the churches avoid. I am to be a voice for others who haven't found courage to speak or walk toward freedom. God hasn't called me to the sidelines. I advocate for trauma survivors, especially women and children. That is where God has called me ...to speak, to advocate, to educate, and to support other survivors of severe trauma. If you have issues with that .....ask Him. I speak where He leads.

As I stated, you do you.

 

[Truly]

I have a whooooole longstanding thread in the "co-ed" forum where men and women can and have contributed. It isn't there as a debate thread. It is an awareness and survivor support thread.

Most topics do not mean just one topic