@HisLife,
I know that I need to apologize to you for something I did a while ago.
I pulled a fast one on you and I don't even remember the exact details of what I did, but I am sorry for doing that to you.
I think it had something to do with something you said; and I deleted my message or something and then used that to win my argument with you at that point.
I don't expect you to forgive me; but I hope that you will accept my sincerest apology for doing that to you.
I believe that it is the reason why you have been acting this way towards me.
I believe that you have also brought your sin against me before the Lord and that He has given you the equivalent of forgiveness over the sin that you committed against me and the Spirit who resides within me.
I hope you will accept that I can be forgiven of the sin that I committed against you on the same basis that you are forgiven of your sins....through the precious blood of Jesus Christ.
I do think that you don't want to believe that I am redeemed by that blood because of the disparity between us.
But I really do place my trust in what Jesus did for me.
I will go so far as to say that my sin against you was not unintentional. I did it to win the argument.
So, I guess that according to my own theology, I am forever lost; because there remains no more sacrifice for sins for me but only a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery indignation that will devour the adversaries.
Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
But the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable, and He has given His love to me as a gift (according to Romans 5:5).
So then, even if I am condemned, I will continue to work to try to make sure that others will not be condemned in a similar manner. I will continue to preach the gospel as I know it to those who are in need; and if I perish in hell, at least I know that I delivered people from the same fate and I believe that may give me comfort in hell; even as the rich man would have been comforted if his five brothers would hear the true gospel and not have to go there too, where he was , suffering in the flames.
I do believe that my subjection to the mental health system qualifies me as being of the church of Smyrna in Revelation chapter 2; because there have been not a few occasions where I have been cast into a locked down situation for a total of ten days, in which I was re-conditioned to take my medicine and was faithful unto, even spiritual death. Therefore the Lord will give me a crown of life and if I perish in hell, at the very least I will not be hurt of the second death (Revelation 2:10-11, Ecclesiastes 8:5).
So, there you have it.
I'm sorry for what I did in my dealings with you. I hope you can accept my apology.