thisisnotmyname
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I think he was talking to me.I said what I meant and mean what I say. So?
Stranger
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I think he was talking to me.I said what I meant and mean what I say. So?
Stranger
This is my first post on this board. I was just wondering if other believers in Christ have had this same thing happen to them that I have. I have been a Christian for 33 years and I love the sweet communion of the Holy Spirit the comforter and also being lead by the Holy Spirit even in the smallest details of life. But, I have also had this horrible sexual sin in my life for probably 35 years. I am a 53-year-old male. And let me tell you right now, it goes way beyond just looking at internet porn which is bad enough. But for the longest time, here has been what a 2-week cycle in my life is like. I succumb to the temptation on the internet. Then I can feel the demonic powers coming into my mind. I usually go "act" on it by having sex with a prostitute. I get to feeling physically sick and sometime I caught a lot. I get the flem in my throat from being sick. I get a severe headache that probably last 8 hours, but it is intense. I become pretty demonized, and I will explode in a demonic fit on somebody because the Holy Spirit is quenched and demonic spirits are prevelant. But, the Lord begins to heal and restore my soul. The heavy demonic presence begins to leave. I stop coughing for a while or not as much. The sweet comfort of the Holy Spirit comes back, and I know the Lord Jesus is close again. The Lord begins to speak to me by His spirit. I am back to my normal self for a while and enjoy fellowship with other Christians. I love to cook and bake and usually do this a lot of home group meetings. But, here is the thing. Probably no more than 1 or 2 days after I am back to normal, the cycle repeats in my life. And over a 25 year span it has repeated about 450 times. Now, about 3 months ago, guess what happened? After a binge, THE HOLY SPIRIT DID NOT COME BACK! I do not have that wonderful comfort of the Holy Spirit when I wake up in the morning anymore. The Lord does not lead me by His spirit whatsoever. Also demonic spirits of fear torment me--it is usually most intense in the mornings. The headaches that usually would only last 8 hours now are a recurring thing, but not nearly as intense. In the past 2 years I've also gotten some physical problems from my sin such as chronic fatigue and bowel problems. My question is, will the Lord ever come back? I know He has not forsaken me. I believe He still listens to my prayer, but He just doesn't communicate with me any more. I hate this man, I really hate this. I want the fellowship with Jesus back. I know I have to give up this sin. So many times the Lord has told me that I am NOT going to hell, but I still fear God now and I don't want to spend the rest of my days with seperation. Has anyone ever had habitual sin in your life like this? Does anyone have any thoughts?
Thanks,
Craig in Ft. Worth, TX
you do huh!I said what I meant and mean what I say. So?
Stranger
I think he was talking to me.
you do huh!
look at the context of Num. 30:6-8 then consider how you've used it. I don't want to spoon feed you.Again, explain how there was misapplication of (Num. 30:6-8). You made the accusation.
Stranger
look at the context of Num. 30:6-8 then consider how you've used it. I don't want to spoon feed you.
This is my first post on this board. I was just wondering if other believers in Christ have had this same thing happen to them that I have. I have been a Christian for 33 years and I love the sweet communion of the Holy Spirit the comforter and also being lead by the Holy Spirit even in the smallest details of life. But, I have also had this horrible sexual sin in my life for probably 35 years. I am a 53-year-old male. And let me tell you right now, it goes way beyond just looking at internet porn which is bad enough. But for the longest time, here has been what a 2-week cycle in my life is like. I succumb to the temptation on the internet. Then I can feel the demonic powers coming into my mind. I usually go "act" on it by having sex with a prostitute. I get to feeling physically sick and sometime I caught a lot. I get the flem in my throat from being sick. I get a severe headache that probably last 8 hours, but it is intense. I become pretty demonized, and I will explode in a demonic fit on somebody because the Holy Spirit is quenched and demonic spirits are prevelant. But, the Lord begins to heal and restore my soul. The heavy demonic presence begins to leave. I stop coughing for a while or not as much. The sweet comfort of the Holy Spirit comes back, and I know the Lord Jesus is close again. The Lord begins to speak to me by His spirit. I am back to my normal self for a while and enjoy fellowship with other Christians. I love to cook and bake and usually do this a lot of home group meetings. But, here is the thing. Probably no more than 1 or 2 days after I am back to normal, the cycle repeats in my life. And over a 25 year span it has repeated about 450 times. Now, about 3 months ago, guess what happened? After a binge, THE HOLY SPIRIT DID NOT COME BACK! I do not have that wonderful comfort of the Holy Spirit when I wake up in the morning anymore. The Lord does not lead me by His spirit whatsoever. Also demonic spirits of fear torment me--it is usually most intense in the mornings. The headaches that usually would only last 8 hours now are a recurring thing, but not nearly as intense. In the past 2 years I've also gotten some physical problems from my sin such as chronic fatigue and bowel problems. My question is, will the Lord ever come back? I know He has not forsaken me. I believe He still listens to my prayer, but He just doesn't communicate with me any more. I hate this man, I really hate this. I want the fellowship with Jesus back. I know I have to give up this sin. So many times the Lord has told me that I am NOT going to hell, but I still fear God now and I don't want to spend the rest of my days with seperation. Has anyone ever had habitual sin in your life like this? Does anyone have any thoughts?
Thanks,
Craig in Ft. Worth, TX
look at the context of Num. 30:6-8 then consider how you've used it. I don't want to spoon feed you.
I have no idea if Endzone is still keeping up with this thread, I know its been 9 years. What you need my brother-in-Christ is deliverance. I had many issues before I went through deliverance, pornography and masturbation being two of them. I can stand here today and tell you the day I went through deliverance for those two specific issues is the day the desires left. I had a physical manifestation they left and I also had the removal of the desires. It has now been 4 years and nothing has returned. That desire you have to watch porn or even go to a prostitute is pushed by demonic spirits. Don't believe me? Then believe God's Word. I am a testament that spiritual issues must be handled spiritually, no psychologist or therapist will fix your problem. Only by the name of Jesus and in His power can those spirits be cast out and you find the deliverance and freedom you long for. Yes, we must renew our minds and make a decision to follow Jesus and obey God's commands daily but that is just the beginning. We are called to do more.