Thank you for sharing.
I'll give an example of some of her odd and manipulative behaviors. My friend has cats and likes to brush them with a specific brush. It came up missing so they asked mom, "Mom, have you seen the cat brush?" She asks, "What brush? I don't know what brush you're talking about." So my friend lets it go and walks to the bathroom. Mom immediately gets up from her recliner and walks (very ably) to her bedroom and in less than a minute, comes out with the cat brush and puts it on the table next to my friend's chair. Mom sits down in her recliner and didn't realize I saw the whole thing. (lol) If she knows we are in the room, or we are in public, she walks very ......VERY slowly, shuffling her feet, taking 5 minutes to walk 20 feet, holding onto people and things. But when she thinks no one sees, she walks much faster and doesn't have to shuffle much at all, or hold onto every wall, handle, table, doorframe, etc. she is very able at times. I've seen it. And then my friend reposted that mom knocks the wall at night they run to check on mom, and she is laying on her back in middlw of her bed saying she's falling ...ankther night when my friend ran to check on mom in middle of the night, she was on the floor next to the bed saying she'd fallen and hit her head on the wall ...and she couldn't get back up. But here's the strange thing... there's a hole in the wall where supposedly her head hit, but she had no head pain, no lump or bump or abrasion ...and the hole was down just above the baseboard, in a place where her head wouldn't be if she'd fallen out of the bed. (It wasn't at the head-end of the bed ...more around the knee area or lower.) So we're scratching our heads not knowing why mom would knock a hole in the wall and then claim she fell out of the bed, hitting the wall with her head hard enough to make a sizeable hole... and her head is fine.
And she won't make her wants and needs known directly. We have told her that all the loads of sugars and high carb foods make her dementia worse and that we are cleaning up her diet ...high healthy proteins, healthy fats, some organic fruits, and maybe some squash, zucchini, etc. But she will study the grocery list on the fridge and then say something like.... "What was the situation when we used to have those things ...oh, yeah ....pancakes?" Or she'll says, "You know what I used to eat ....cashews and mixed nuts." Or she'll say... "What were those crackers that I saw on the counter ober there?" (And there wasn't any crackers on the cabinet. lol) But what she's doing is trying to get the message that she doesn't want healthy food ...she wants crackers, nuts, sugar, pancakes, and cereal.) So rather than saying ... "Could we have some pancakes sometime?" ...she plays games. And I can make keto, high protein pancakes (like I have in the past before we decided we were reducing oxalates).
Sigh ....anyway, it's a stressful and sad way to live. When she gets more protein and less carbs, she is more alert. But she started drowning all her proteins with ketchup, mayo, and honey ......lol ...... it's just puzzling!
I've never been in this situation before. It's hard to know what she's doing on purpose and what is forgetfulness ....like when she comes out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom and looks at me and my friend and asks, "Is anyone in the bathroom?" But she sees everyone sitting in the room ...she has lost her ability to process information. That sounds like "normal" dementia to me ...and her forgetting what her daughter looks like/not recognizing her ....and forgetting who lives with her, or where she lives.... ugh .....but the other stuff sounds deliberate. It's rough on my friend.
