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[SIZE=medium]Before the Cock Crow: The Agonizing Strengthening of Faith. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Do you believe God is in control? How far does our Makers sovereignty reach? [/SIZE] [SIZE=medium]What is volition and what exactly does it mean? I have struggled with these questions? I pound at the door of understanding but it will not open. Everywhere I turn there seems to be a contradiction in His Word which means the Lord is not in question but my understanding is. His Word says “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.” –Deuteronomy 30:19[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Yet Jesus told Nicodemus in John 3, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirt. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whiter it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Then I consider Mark 14: 4 “And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. And Jesus said, Let her alone; but why trouble ye her? She hath wrought a good work on me. For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always. She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]The implications of this verse are staggering. How could the woman have known and performed her actions with such precision and depth? How was she led to do these things? Then I think of Sarah’s powerful words:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.” –Genesis 21 [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Like countless verses in the old testament the fact that Sarah would tell her husband to cast out the woman (she gave permission toward in the first place because of lack of faith and patience in God) and then for Abraham to obey his wife’s orders…was disturbing to me. Two years ago, when God stirred up a desire in me for the first time to pick up the bible and read it, I read His word through the lens life had given me: a male dominating lens where women had no value and men rule ; not with sacrificial love for those under his headship, but with a cruel authority that eventually led to abandonment. I couldn’t see or hear Jesus or His love, all I could hear was the words of the three men that had assumed headship in our home as I was a child only to walk out of my life because of my seemly lack of value. Naturally I assumed God the Father viewed me with the same reproach. [/SIZE] [SIZE=medium]His Word seemed to scream the same message. As I attempted to argue my case to the Christian counselor I was seeing at the time (the counselor my husband chose) I used the Old Testament as my weapon. "What a cruel God," I told the counselor. "Tell me this God loves me." [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]The counselor’s advice? Avoid the old testament! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]I am glad I didn’t listen. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]It was in the uncomfortable, most abrasive, fearful verses; the verses that made me want to run and cover myself and wish I had never been born out shame and fear of this All-powerful God, that became my most intimate moments and encounters with Him. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“Nevertheless what saith the scripture? Cast out the bondwoman and her son: for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman. So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but of the free.” –Galatians 4:30[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Romans 9:17-23 says “For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]have mercy[/SIZE][SIZE=medium], and whom he will he hardeneth. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]it[/SIZE][SIZE=medium], Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonor? [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]What [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]if God, willing to shew [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]his[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction: And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory,”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Reflecting on my life I wonder how often the finger of God was on my life? Did He control the things that battered and whipped and tortured and oppressed a small frightened girl until she viewed scripture through a warped lens? [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]God surely didn’t intervene. I am thankful because every moment brought me to this one. [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]Could it be possible, God didn’t intervene so He could demonstrate His power by taking such a distorted lens and healing that lens? What about the sin I still struggle with in my life today that I cannot seem to lay down? Do I have the power to will that sin into submission? Paul seemed to boldly say he had beaten his flesh into submission. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]1 Peter 4:1 says: “Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]But Philippians 1:29 says: “For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake:”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]A sin that was heavy on me last night: Doubt. Scripture says a doubtless man can expect to receive nothing from God. Yesterday I was ready to walk out on my faith. I stood last night; worn out from the fight, confused, scared, and shattered. It would be so easy to walk out on being a Christian. Sometimes the words are so prevalent on my tongue, bitter and wicked in thought. Satan prodding me to go ahead and say the words. If I will just say the words out loud Satan will become my father and that he is not the kind of father that disciplines or chastises his children. There is a deep sense that if I will just utter the words out loud that Satan will come and do just that. That he will gladly appease, and like with the Pharisees, my life on this earth will be picturesque. The pain in my joints and head will stop. The sorrow will subside. The conflict will end. But even as I write this, acknowledging the profane thoughts are indeed sometimes creeping in, I realize…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]I do not have the power to hand my life over to Satan. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]God chooses. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]but[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] the son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free, ye shall be free indeed. I know that ye are Abrahams seed; but ye seek to kill me, because my word hath no place in you. I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.” –John 8:34-36[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Which leads me to the end of this post and what awaited in His Word this morning. Bittersweet Encouragement. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]to have[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] you, that he may sift [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]you[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] as wheat:” Luke 22:31 [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple: that disciple was known unto the high priest, and went in with Jesus into the palace of the high priest. But Peter stood at the door without. Then went out that other disciple, which was known unto the high priest, and spake unto her that kept the door, and brought in Peter. Then saith the damsel that kept the door unto Peter, Art not thou also one of this man’s disciples? He saith, I am not. And the servants and officers stood there, who had made a fire of coals; for it was cold: and they warmed themselves: and Peter stood with them, and warmed himself.” –John 18 15-18[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]John is the only account of the doorkeeper in the four gospels. All other accounts focus on Peter, upon his denial of Jesus, standing with the servants and warming himself. We must remember the book of John gives a unique spiritual perspective that only John’s account can give. It is interesting that scripture makes known this unknown disciple (a name is not given, possibly John since that would add to the blow to Peters pride) knows the high priest and goes into the palace with Jesus. Peter stands at the doorkeeper’s door, standing without, and has a choice. We know the agonizing choice Peter makes. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Which takes us to a beautiful scene of the unfailing love of Christ:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]John 21:15-17 “So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]He saith to him again the second time, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]He saith unto him the third time, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things: thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]How far does God’s sovereignty reach and how does God’s sovereignty coincide with our volition? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Do you believe God is in control? How far does our Makers sovereignty reach? [/SIZE] [SIZE=medium]What is volition and what exactly does it mean? I have struggled with these questions? I pound at the door of understanding but it will not open. Everywhere I turn there seems to be a contradiction in His Word which means the Lord is not in question but my understanding is. His Word says “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.” –Deuteronomy 30:19[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Yet Jesus told Nicodemus in John 3, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirt. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whiter it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Then I consider Mark 14: 4 “And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. And Jesus said, Let her alone; but why trouble ye her? She hath wrought a good work on me. For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always. She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]The implications of this verse are staggering. How could the woman have known and performed her actions with such precision and depth? How was she led to do these things? Then I think of Sarah’s powerful words:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.” –Genesis 21 [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Like countless verses in the old testament the fact that Sarah would tell her husband to cast out the woman (she gave permission toward in the first place because of lack of faith and patience in God) and then for Abraham to obey his wife’s orders…was disturbing to me. Two years ago, when God stirred up a desire in me for the first time to pick up the bible and read it, I read His word through the lens life had given me: a male dominating lens where women had no value and men rule ; not with sacrificial love for those under his headship, but with a cruel authority that eventually led to abandonment. I couldn’t see or hear Jesus or His love, all I could hear was the words of the three men that had assumed headship in our home as I was a child only to walk out of my life because of my seemly lack of value. Naturally I assumed God the Father viewed me with the same reproach. [/SIZE] [SIZE=medium]His Word seemed to scream the same message. As I attempted to argue my case to the Christian counselor I was seeing at the time (the counselor my husband chose) I used the Old Testament as my weapon. "What a cruel God," I told the counselor. "Tell me this God loves me." [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]The counselor’s advice? Avoid the old testament! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]I am glad I didn’t listen. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]It was in the uncomfortable, most abrasive, fearful verses; the verses that made me want to run and cover myself and wish I had never been born out shame and fear of this All-powerful God, that became my most intimate moments and encounters with Him. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“Nevertheless what saith the scripture? Cast out the bondwoman and her son: for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman. So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but of the free.” –Galatians 4:30[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Romans 9:17-23 says “For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]have mercy[/SIZE][SIZE=medium], and whom he will he hardeneth. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]it[/SIZE][SIZE=medium], Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonor? [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]What [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]if God, willing to shew [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]his[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction: And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory,”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Reflecting on my life I wonder how often the finger of God was on my life? Did He control the things that battered and whipped and tortured and oppressed a small frightened girl until she viewed scripture through a warped lens? [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]God surely didn’t intervene. I am thankful because every moment brought me to this one. [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]Could it be possible, God didn’t intervene so He could demonstrate His power by taking such a distorted lens and healing that lens? What about the sin I still struggle with in my life today that I cannot seem to lay down? Do I have the power to will that sin into submission? Paul seemed to boldly say he had beaten his flesh into submission. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]1 Peter 4:1 says: “Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]But Philippians 1:29 says: “For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake:”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]A sin that was heavy on me last night: Doubt. Scripture says a doubtless man can expect to receive nothing from God. Yesterday I was ready to walk out on my faith. I stood last night; worn out from the fight, confused, scared, and shattered. It would be so easy to walk out on being a Christian. Sometimes the words are so prevalent on my tongue, bitter and wicked in thought. Satan prodding me to go ahead and say the words. If I will just say the words out loud Satan will become my father and that he is not the kind of father that disciplines or chastises his children. There is a deep sense that if I will just utter the words out loud that Satan will come and do just that. That he will gladly appease, and like with the Pharisees, my life on this earth will be picturesque. The pain in my joints and head will stop. The sorrow will subside. The conflict will end. But even as I write this, acknowledging the profane thoughts are indeed sometimes creeping in, I realize…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]I do not have the power to hand my life over to Satan. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]God chooses. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]but[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] the son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free, ye shall be free indeed. I know that ye are Abrahams seed; but ye seek to kill me, because my word hath no place in you. I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.” –John 8:34-36[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Which leads me to the end of this post and what awaited in His Word this morning. Bittersweet Encouragement. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]to have[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] you, that he may sift [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]you[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] as wheat:” Luke 22:31 [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]“And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple: that disciple was known unto the high priest, and went in with Jesus into the palace of the high priest. But Peter stood at the door without. Then went out that other disciple, which was known unto the high priest, and spake unto her that kept the door, and brought in Peter. Then saith the damsel that kept the door unto Peter, Art not thou also one of this man’s disciples? He saith, I am not. And the servants and officers stood there, who had made a fire of coals; for it was cold: and they warmed themselves: and Peter stood with them, and warmed himself.” –John 18 15-18[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]John is the only account of the doorkeeper in the four gospels. All other accounts focus on Peter, upon his denial of Jesus, standing with the servants and warming himself. We must remember the book of John gives a unique spiritual perspective that only John’s account can give. It is interesting that scripture makes known this unknown disciple (a name is not given, possibly John since that would add to the blow to Peters pride) knows the high priest and goes into the palace with Jesus. Peter stands at the doorkeeper’s door, standing without, and has a choice. We know the agonizing choice Peter makes. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Which takes us to a beautiful scene of the unfailing love of Christ:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]John 21:15-17 “So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]He saith to him again the second time, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]He saith unto him the third time, Simon, [/SIZE][SIZE=medium]son[/SIZE][SIZE=medium] of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things: thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]How far does God’s sovereignty reach and how does God’s sovereignty coincide with our volition? [/SIZE]
