Therefore, the KJV translation is correct and the church got it wrong.
Jesus said there is no grounds for divorce except for fornication. Now read verse 10 again.
Better not to marry? Indeed. Not if you have ANY plans to divorce.
Matthew 19:8-10 NIV
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Here again is the danger of quoting a verse out of context....what does the whole passage say?....and what is the word Jesus used here as grounds for divorce and remarriage?
Matt 19:3-12...NIV...
“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, (porneia) and marries another woman commits adultery.” (moichaō) The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Jesus was answering a question asked by the Pharisees to test him out. Were there grounds for divorce other than for “
porneia” (which is the word in question)....could a man seek a divorce from his wife on any sort of grounds? In Israel, it was tolerated for a time that a man could divorce his wife on grounds other than “
porneia”...but note Jesus’ full response.....”Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
He had just told them
.....”“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Marriage was a union of two, who become “one flesh” in God’s eyes. And what God has joined together in marriage, let no man be responsible for tearing those two apart. What then is “porneia”?
Strongs definition is....
- illicit sexual intercourse
- adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
- sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
- sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11-12
It is any sexual union of one of the parties who then becomes “one flesh” with someone else. That is what tears a marriage apart....infidelity.
In Israel, women did not have much of a say, but that attitude was not from God, who created Adam’s mate to be a “complement” for him. A compliment, in that context was a joining of roles given to offset one another so that one made the other complete. The marriage of two became one in God’s eyes. No one was to treat his mate in such a way as to break that bond. Each knew what was expected of the other and as long as they stayed within the parameters of that Holy arrangement, their children would be raised by the two loving parents who created them.
A woman was not created to be a man’s chattel......but in sentencing Eve for her disobedience, God said that her husband would dominate her. That domination took over the marriage arrangement in ancient Israel....but Jesus said it was not that way from the beginning.
Why then did Jesus then mention “eunuchs”? He spoke of eunuchs as those
“who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
This is why they said it is better not to marry than to be saddled with a wife they could not divorce unless adultery or any kind of sexual deviation occurred.
The lesson here is....choose carefully, because was there was no provision for either party to divorce an abusive or dead beat mate. Did that mean that a wife or husband was physically trapped in such a marriage? I think we need to read the story of Abigail and her dead beat husband....and see now that story ended. What a woman! (1 Sam 25:2–39)
Paul answers that question....
1 Cor 7:8-15....NIV...
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Note here, this is to the “unmarried and widows”.....not divorcees.
He goes on to say....
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
A clear directive....that if the relationship become untenable for whatever reason, a woman could
separate from her husband but with what result in view? She is not free to remarry, but she she is free to reconcile with him if he is amenable. The husband could not divorce his wife...unless sexual immortality had occurred.
Since there were no other choices, reconciliation was beneficial for both.
To those who were married to unbelievers, Paul said....
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
We see there that again the circumstances are clearly outlined.....there is to be no divorce with freedom to remarry unless one of the mates commits “
porneia”.
Having all that in mind....our choice of marriage mate better be a good one.....based on good character and sound Christian moral standards. There is no exit clause for remarriage unless the scriptural grounds are met. A husband or wife is free to forgive a repentant mate, but they forego the right to divorce once the mate is taken back....unless they repeat the offense.
There is grounds for separation, but not divorce. One had to become a “eunuch”.....like it or not.
God sets the standards, not man.