Disappointment

[aspen]

How do you guys deal with disappointment?

As many of you have probably noticed, I tend to be a bit idealistic

.

Which, most of the time, I believe is a great benefit for my spirituality and choice of careers. However, when I do run into the disappointment in life - it hit me like a piano dropped from the 37th floor. I am vulnerable to being crushed when I am tired and my blood sugar is out of whack - unfortunately, disappointment often leads to anxiety and whacky blood sugars levels.

Today, I made time in my schedule to shop, cook and deliver food to a sick friend as well as drive her to an appointment. It required me to get up an hour early and drive my wife to work so I could use her car and pick her up after work. So when I got to the person's house - I was informed that they mixed up the appointment time and did not need me to drive them. So I told them that I would deliver the food I made them later that evening. I spent quite a bit of time shopping and cooking the food - when I delivered it, no one was home. A note told me to leave the food on the doorstep and that the person had to run a quick errand. I did - but I was starting to feel kind of disappointed. I just found out that the person was really out at a movie with another friend of ours.

So, I am disappointed and tired and feel low - I think things hit me harder than most, which brings me to the topic......how do you handle disappointment and what do you do to get out of it?

 

[Groundzero]

How do you guys deal with disappointment?

As many of you have probably noticed, I tend to be a bit idealistic

.

Which, most of the time, I believe is a great benefit for my spirituality and choice of careers. However, when I do run into the disappointment in life - it hit me like a piano dropped from the 37th floor. I am vulnerable to being crushed when I am tired and my blood sugar is out of whack - unfortunately, disappointment often leads to anxiety and whacky blood sugars levels.

Today, I made time in my schedule to shop, cook and deliver food to a sick friend as well as drive her to an appointment. It required me to get up an hour early and drive my wife to work so I could use her car and pick her up after work. So when I got to the person's house - I was informed that they mixed up the appointment time and did not need me to drive them. So I told them that I would deliver the food I made them later that evening. I spent quite a bit of time shopping and cooking the food - when I delivered it, no one was home. A note told me to leave the food on the doorstep and that the person had to run a quick errand. I did - but I was starting to feel kind of disappointed. I just found out that the person was really out at a movie with another friend of ours.

So, I am disappointed and tired and feel low - I think things hit me harder than most, which brings me to the topic......how do you handle disappointment and what do you do to get out of it?

Everyone goes through ups and downs. I just hang on like hell! lol. That's the only thing I can really say. Other than that, sometimes I just have to let go and escape from everything and relax.

 

[Robbie]

I would be honest with them... tell them how it made you feel... tell them your time is valuable to you... and be honest that it hurt your feelings... chances are they weren't even conscious of how they made you feel... and once you tell them they'll probably apologize and next time be more thoughtful. Because more than likely they weren't doing it to intentionally hurt your feelings... they just weren't really thinking about how they're actions were going to effect you.

 

[aspen]

I would be honest with them... tell them how it made you feel... tell them your time is valuable to you... and be honest that it hurt your feelings... chances are they weren't even conscious of how they made you feel... and once you tell them they'll probably apologize and next time be more thoughtful. Because more than likely they weren't doing it to intentionally hurt your feelings... they just weren't really thinking about how they're actions were going to effect you.

yeah....wish I wasn't so sensitive when it comes to friends. Nothing bothers me in other areas.......but friendships - I guess my expectations are too high

 

[Robbie]

I used to be really unthoughtful when it came to friends... then I had this really good friend back in the day that just started calling me out on stuff and I appreciated that... I was fully the kind of person that would make plans and then just not show up... and until someone called me on it I really had no idea the way that made people feel... so I appreciated it... if I wouldn't have appreciated it that probably just would have meant that I didn't want to be considerate... and I wanted to keep disrespecting my friends... hahhahah

 

[aspen]

I used to be really unthoughtful when it came to friends... then I had this really good friend back in the day that just started calling me out on stuff and I appreciated that... I was fully the kind of person that would make plans and then just not show up... and until someone called me on it I really had no idea the way that made people feel... so I appreciated it... if I wouldn't have appreciated it that probably just would have meant that I didn't want to be considerate... and I wanted to keep disrespecting my friends... hahhahah

It is difficult for me though......I am calling people on their behavior all day at work - I don't what to have to do it with friends. Also, people notice pretty quickly if they are feeling corrected or confronted or psycho-analyzed by their friend the counselor.

I think I need a smaller circle of friends.

 

[Robbie]

haha = ) oh yeah... I forgot that's what you do... I have a friend who has a degree in psychology... I'm always way less willing to let him analyze me and have felt paranoid in the past that he was trying to play mind games with me... so I hear ya for sure...

 

[jiggyfly]

Aspen I know how you feel, my wife and I have run into this many times and my wife has had some struggles with it in the past.
My wife was speaking to a friend one day about this subject and her friend offered some great wisdom that has helped us both.
She said " you have heard the golden rule ' to do unto others as you would have them do unto you' well it should be do unto others as they would have you do unto them".
To do for others as you want them to do for you is still somewhat centered on your wants and sets us up for disappointment many times.

 

[aspen]

Aspen I know how you feel, my wife and I have run into this many times and my wife has had some struggles with it in the past.
My wife was speaking to a friend one day about this subject and her friend offered some great wisdom that has helped us both.
She said " you have heard the golden rule ' to do unto others as you would have them do unto you' well it should be do unto others as they would have you do unto them".
To do for others as you want them to do for you is still somewhat centered on your wants and sets us up for disappointment many times.

So true! Very wise- I can use that!

Thanks Jiggy