What happens when you can no longer live together? Is divorce an option? How should Christians view the issue of divorce? Should people who divorce be viewed as somehow lower than others?
Divorce
- Thread starter aspen
- Start date
-
Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.
You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
...no honey, people should not be viewed lower than others when it comes to the position of divorce but this is a very private and personal issue, between you and God. :unsure: Please earnestly seek his direction and guidance on this one.....
Blessings!!!
Blessings!!!
I agree it is a personal issue, however - it is also an issue that many Christians face and I think it should be discussed.
-- One of your final posts the last time you were here indicated this was (or was shortly going to be) and issue for you yourself personally.
Perhaps the discussion should begin there.....
I am pretty sure I already know where you want to go with this.
Yes it is an issue that many Christians face, I agree. My own personal opinion may differ from others here and it can only be just that...an opinion. Yes he gave a certificate of divorce because of the hardening of hearts but this was not how it was, in the beginning...
Matthew 19 NKJV
[sup]4 [/sup]And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who madethem at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ [sup]5 [/sup]and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? [sup]6 [/sup]So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
[sup]7[/sup]They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
[sup]8 [/sup]He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. [sup]9 [/sup]And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
The verse above [9] also indicates that if you marry after you are divorced...you commit adultery. IMHO you either stay married and battle it through or get a divorce and stay single for the rest of your days... :huh:
God hates divorce Malachi 2:16. Each man must be accountable before God for their own decision on the matter.
Blessings!!!
Matthew 19 NKJV
[sup]4 [/sup]And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who madethem at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ [sup]5 [/sup]and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? [sup]6 [/sup]So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
[sup]7[/sup]They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
[sup]8 [/sup]He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. [sup]9 [/sup]And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
The verse above [9] also indicates that if you marry after you are divorced...you commit adultery. IMHO you either stay married and battle it through or get a divorce and stay single for the rest of your days... :huh:
God hates divorce Malachi 2:16. Each man must be accountable before God for their own decision on the matter.
Blessings!!!
You are right about that, Foreigner. My wife and I are filing for divorce this week. We have been married for 20 years - no children. We love each other, but we simply cannot live together. We have a deep friendship, which is in jeopardy if we continue in our relationship.
So, we are at a crossroads.
I agree with Him. I hate divorce too. What happens if it is the best choice?
I heard this guy talking awhile ago, he said something about how our expectations for marriage could be different than God's are, as God's ways are not our ways. He said that we see marriage as something we want because it will make us happy, but God's reasonings are different, one being to bring glory to Him, and another might be that He uses marriage to transform us to Christ. All the struggles encountered in a marriage are actually exactly what we need to conform to His full stature.
Yet, isn't the motivating factor for what we do is to make ourselves happy, but our happiness is not the purpose of our life here.
Not accusing you at all, I'm not even married, it was just a thought I had as I was reading what you've written. I will pray for you and your wife.
Yet, isn't the motivating factor for what we do is to make ourselves happy, but our happiness is not the purpose of our life here.
Not accusing you at all, I'm not even married, it was just a thought I had as I was reading what you've written. I will pray for you and your wife.
I think what you are saying is very possible. Unfortunately, a decision to divorce ( I hate that word ) is not a one person decision. Thank you for the prayer - it really is the balm for our situation and I am honestly burned out on it. Please pray for my prayer life - that would be awesome.
Hi aspen2...no, you are not lower than anyone else for divorcing or for any other reason.It is obvious that you have tried very hard to come to some kind of resolution in your marriage and that your choice to divorce did'nt come lightly. I only wish you and your wife the very best as you both face this new chapter in your lives. Our prayers are definitely with you...much love, Hollyrock
Well according to the bible after a huge battle Moses chose to lay with women.. and everyone layed together! Maybe its time that we all get drunk and marry!!!
Here is from the bible!
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to
pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some
uncleanness in her : then let him write her a bill of divorcement,
and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
uncleanness can be taken in many different ways I guess.
Jon-Marc
New Member
My first wife was never faithful. She left me twice, and I made the mistake of taking her back both times and forgave her. However, I was never able to trust her again. When she said to me one day after 5 years of unfaithfulness, "I won't change", that was when I gave up. We separated and I divorced her because of her adultery.
Wife #2, after two weeks of blissful marriage, started sleeping on the sofa and criticised EVERYTHING I said and EVERYTHING I did. I couldn't say or do anything right. After 7 1/2 months of that we separated, and she divorced me because I wasn't perfect like she was. LOL!
There won't be a third time. I've learned my lesson; I should have stayed single. I'm now blissfully single.
Wife #2, after two weeks of blissful marriage, started sleeping on the sofa and criticised EVERYTHING I said and EVERYTHING I did. I couldn't say or do anything right. After 7 1/2 months of that we separated, and she divorced me because I wasn't perfect like she was. LOL!
There won't be a third time. I've learned my lesson; I should have stayed single. I'm now blissfully single.
I think, sadly, that divorce is inevitable because humans are sinful. That's not dishing blame out on any particular party, it's just fact. When two sinful people live together, problems arise. When divorce comes about it may be our fault, it may be their fault or it may be...usually is...the fault of both, in many different areas.
The bible, of course, tells us that marriage is a covenant...it does give certain guidelines to what may constitute grounds for divorce. But when dealing with the reality of sinfulness, wilfulness and just tragedy, divorce will happen outside those guidelines. I don't think, as Christians we should ever accept that marriage will or could head there, but when it does, we need to ask ourselves how we can then step forward in faith. Whether it's happening to us, or to people we know, once the fracture has occurred we need to go forward, and go forward in Christ.
I don't doubt that maybe I have more to learn on this topic from scripture and those more inherently wise, so as I give advice I do so from what I feel to be true and from my current understanding on the subject...
Aspen, if you and your wife have investigated avenue's of reconciliation through your church and still found that your marriage is over, I'm sorry. It is a tragedy...not just biblically, but emotionally, for you both. I would perhaps advise that at this point, staying friends and therefore keeping communication open between you is probably best...there is nothing to be gained, at all, to keep at it until you both hate each other. I think also, once you are sure your marriage is over, is for both of you to truly consider what went wrong, repent of what part you each may have played in it, and having repented of it...just move on. Move on and live for Jesus and try to truly learn from those mistakes...learn and use them to guide others away from them. Remember, God can, and frequently does, use our messes to bring glory to Himself! We shouldn't seek such things, of course, but even when we fall, we must remember that in Christ, there is no condemnation. Repent, get up, and live for the one person you know will never let you down...Jesus. And pray that your wife will do the same. Pray that God will use this for His glory, and that you will learn and grow closer to Him through this hard time.
The bible, of course, tells us that marriage is a covenant...it does give certain guidelines to what may constitute grounds for divorce. But when dealing with the reality of sinfulness, wilfulness and just tragedy, divorce will happen outside those guidelines. I don't think, as Christians we should ever accept that marriage will or could head there, but when it does, we need to ask ourselves how we can then step forward in faith. Whether it's happening to us, or to people we know, once the fracture has occurred we need to go forward, and go forward in Christ.
I don't doubt that maybe I have more to learn on this topic from scripture and those more inherently wise, so as I give advice I do so from what I feel to be true and from my current understanding on the subject...
Aspen, if you and your wife have investigated avenue's of reconciliation through your church and still found that your marriage is over, I'm sorry. It is a tragedy...not just biblically, but emotionally, for you both. I would perhaps advise that at this point, staying friends and therefore keeping communication open between you is probably best...there is nothing to be gained, at all, to keep at it until you both hate each other. I think also, once you are sure your marriage is over, is for both of you to truly consider what went wrong, repent of what part you each may have played in it, and having repented of it...just move on. Move on and live for Jesus and try to truly learn from those mistakes...learn and use them to guide others away from them. Remember, God can, and frequently does, use our messes to bring glory to Himself! We shouldn't seek such things, of course, but even when we fall, we must remember that in Christ, there is no condemnation. Repent, get up, and live for the one person you know will never let you down...Jesus. And pray that your wife will do the same. Pray that God will use this for His glory, and that you will learn and grow closer to Him through this hard time.
Crazy. I really understand your position - thank you for posting, Marriage seem to be a downward slide, which demanded giving up one expectation after another......my wife is right to divorce me - I gave up three years ago. Our loyalty kept us together .....when she took a weekend with her boss last year, I gave up hope.
So now, I am seriously considering becoming a monk at my monastery. Unfortunately, it requires an annulment, which costs a lot of money. I am adrift, for sure
You offer harsh and good advice - thank you. I will never marry again. In my mind I will always be married to my wife. I am looking forward to the next chapter of my life.- I am a committed optimist. Time to cultivate my garden, lol.
I think you know my total story - will you pm me?
Geez, I can answer my own question - what happens when you get a divorce? - people what to have sex with you. Ugh.....how empty....it will not stop......all I want is the monastery.
Similar threads
