Do we sow Peace?

[bbyrd009]

What makes you think it’s my mom? Testimony’s? Yes, she hurt me and it hurts even worse that she refuses to acknowledge it and may never will. I know God has not allowed her to see it and I forgive her. I wish she knew He loves her too. I doubt that is why I’m sick. But maybe.

Ok, but umpty-ump doctors have been tryna diagnose you for like three years, right.

 

[bbyrd009]

I shouldn’t have said I am sick because I’m not. Isaiah 33:23-24 Thy tacklings are loosed; they could not well strengthen their mast, they could not spread the sail: then is the prey of a great spoil divided; the lame take the prey. [24] And the inhabitant shall not say, I am sick: the people that dwell therein shall be forgiven their iniquity.

the inhabitant shall not say they are sick there bc they are not sick, and this "name it and claim it" stuff is a nice self-centered try @ self-fulfilling prophecy sans effort imo, not that I am against having a positive attitude. But that interp of that passage is strictly Prosperity imo. I came from that fwiw, and personally I detest it. Again, not that I have a problem with prosperity per se.

Anyway, you are at least...um, very penitent, ok? Quite hard on yourself, seems like. Maybe you have processed your mom, dunno, but I would find out who you really have this murder in your heart for then, and be aware that ppl are really good at lying to themselves if that person happens to be someone the world says we are supposed to love. Especially if one considers themselves "saved" and supposedly lovers of everyone, literally. Plus, that kind of came out of nowhere, without my help really, so that might be a consideration.

But imo don't discount that loving your neighbor might involve flipping a table in their face, and a little whip action, ok. Loving your mother does not mean putting up with her serial abuse. At the very least all the stress you exhibit will surely make one acidic as hell, a pH test strip will tell you that, and a puréed whole lemon in some sweetened water or whatever every morning might help there, usually does. Drink the whole thing, with as little sweetener as you can stand.

 

[bbyrd009]

What makes you think it’s my mom? Testimony’s?

um, I'm not ab sure it's mom, but i am ab sure you are eating yourself over something

Yes, she hurt me and it hurts even worse that she refuses to acknowledge it and may never will. I know God has not allowed her to see it and I forgive her. I wish she knew He loves her too. I doubt that is why I’m sick. But maybe.

I wish she knew God's love could be quite painful, but maybe she already knows that. I can't describe the impact a well-placed "fu, mom" might have coming from a daughter like you, ok, said in the right voice. Can you imagine saying that to her? "Ya ok, whatever mom, how 'bout you piss off" said deadpan from you would prolly blow her mind, but really a point is that you don't even have to say that stuff to convey it, but you are not in that place, right, you are still believing something you might do might gain her approval? Someday?

And that is likely never going to happen ok, unless you take some steps. They don't have to be as drastic as above I guess, but def along those lines imo. But see you are still approaching your mom, trying to please her I bet right, rather than completely disinterested in her and avoiding her like the plague, like you should be doing. You are feeding her monster prolly. What she has trained you to do. I'd break it somehow, if any of this sounds familiar. But see you even tried like "witnessing" to her prolly huh.

You could maybe do us both a favor here, and go get a hammer. Then put your hand, the non-hammer one, on a stout table, and bash it as hard as you can stand with the hammer. Keep doing it until you can't stand it anymore, and then set the hammer down, and go dress your hand. Then, every time you even think about approaching your mom, hit your hand with the hammer again, like that. I'm not sure of y'alls dynamic here but if she approaches you be unavailable, let it goto voicemail, etc, and resist replying. All stuff you are not inclined to do I bet.

Your mom has self-respect issues, obv, and so you have no self-respect much, particularly around her I guess, but you are trying to show her respect, right, and that is the very worst thing you can do to a person in that place wadr. While outright disrespect is not required, getting free however you may prolly is ok, and I would contemplate the damage you are doing to your family here, and prolly your very soul/life too ok. Let your hubby read this maybe, and get his reaction, bc ya I am still mostly throwing darts at a blank wall, but the pieces are coming together here imo

 

[VictoryinJesus]

the inhabitant shall not say they are sick there bc they are not sick, and this "name it and claim it" stuff is a nice self-centered try @ self-fulfilling prophecy sans effort imo, not that I am against having a positive attitude. But that interp of that passage is strictly Prosperity imo. I came from that fwiw, and personally I detest it. Again, not that I have a problem with prosperity per se.

Thank you for taking time to post back. I don’t buy into the name it and claim it either and realize that verse means they are not sick anymore. But I still have to keep in mind every day what He has done for me (all of us). I’m not sick...Spiritually and that’s what remains. You may argue that because of emotional damage done over the years so what I mean here is: I woke up one morning with MS heavy on my mind but then overwhelming comfort and joy came over me in the sense of relief. I don’t have to be hopeless. I can wake up now and know that no matter what happens to my body... hope is ahead. I’ve gained, not lost. Without Him there would be no hope. With Him... MS is short-term.

 

[bbyrd009]

I’m not sick...Spiritually and that’s what remains.

So you say, but fwiw I would not state the same thing so unequivocally about myself. Unfort I know too little about your dynamic w/mom to say for sure...who initiates y'alls interactions usually would be a big clue...I'm guessing you, but dunno.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

Plus, that kind of came out of nowhere, without my help really, so that might be a consideration.

Concerning the rest ...there are some very good insights here which I’ll definitely pray over. I would ask though, not to be disrespectful in any way, to consider you may be projecting. Have you considered any of the above also? But still, some did hit truth. As far as pleasing her. She does say to me all the time that I’m easy to please and it doesn’t take much to make me happy. This wasn’t intentional on my part but something God may have brought about for her. She doesn't owe me anything or payment. It is lifted. We are supposed to carry the burdens of the weak. I know you may not agree and that is okay but considering the only strength I have to keep the law is spiritual then:

Ephesians 6:2
[2] Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise

Which I believe is: honour God and new Jerusalem which is from above and the mother is us all. This is the first commandment with promise. My earthly mother and father can not prolong my days on earth...that is from Adam. only the Father and new Jerusalem come with the power and promise to prolong my days on earth.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

So you say, but fwiw I would not state the same thing so unequivocally about myself. Unfort I know too little about your dynamic w/mom to say for sure...who initiates y'alls interactions usually would be a big clue...I'm guessing you, but dunno.

We walk by faith not by sight... otherwise what are we doing here? Do we just quote it but never put action(movement) behind it?

 

[bbyrd009]

Concerning the rest ...there are some very good insights here which I’ll definitely pray over. I would ask though, not to be disrespectful in any way, to consider you may be projecting. Have you considered any of the above also? But still, some did hit truth. As far as pleasing her. She does say to me all the time that I’m easy to please and it doesn’t take much to make me happy. This wasn’t intentional on my part but something God may have brought about for her. She doesn't owe me anything or payment. It is lifted. We are supposed to carry the burdens of the weak. I know you may not agree and that is okay but considering the only strength I have to keep the law is spiritual then:

Ephesians 6:2
[2] Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise

Which I believe is: honour God and new Jerusalem which is from above and the mother is us all. This is the first commandment with promise. My earthly mother and father can not prolong my days on earth...that is from Adam. only the Father and new Jerusalem come with the power and promise to prolong my days on earth.

I agree here ok, but none of that matters if all you can physically do is pay it lip service. It may be possible that I am projecting from my own experience, yes. And I might be off, bc you imply there that your mom paid you a compliment? is how i'm reading the 'easy to please' comment, it was said as a compliment? Which I was assuming your mom never did, so I might be off there, bad dart maybe, but regardless you are displaying a fair amount of contradiction/conflict, and I guess you are in a better position to state the source than me.

 

[bbyrd009]

We walk by faith not by sight... otherwise what are we doing here? Do we just quote it but never put action(movement) behind it?

ok but again, love is not above a little well placed whipping now and again I guess, and imo we are brainwashed into a very bad definition of 'faith' anyway. If you are truly walking by faith, you should not be sick with an undiagnosable ailment, right? And if you keep playing with literal rattlesnakes, you will eventually get bitten and die, bad interp of the relevant Passage notwithstanding, regardless of where you assess your 'faith' to be, and etcetc. Believing something as hard as you possibly can is not faith if it is not true, and we have the rattlesnake passage available for anyone who wants to test that. Many preachers have, may they rest in peace

 

[bbyrd009]

11 scary things that could happen if you don't get enough vitamin D

 

[VictoryinJesus]

but regardless you are displaying a fair amount of contradiction/conflict, and I guess you are in a better position to state the source than me.

You’re the second person to say that so I’m really considering and praying over it. thank you bbyrd009.

 

[bbyrd009]

You’re the second person to say that so I’m really considering and praying over it. thank you bbyrd009.

On that note, I would still rather be you than me I think, I am prolly no less conflicted, but I am just prolly too self-centered to let it eat me or whatever, or it presents differently.