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But I'm still struggling with sin, I'm having thoughts fearing of going to hell, If I done the unforgivable sin, blasphemy, betrayed Jesus and God, and if I committed horrible things
Hi. There is a man named Dr. Bruce Thompson that has a teaching video series called, "The Divine Plumbline." I went to a 5-day retreat where this was and still is the main teaching. I would suggest that you watch a YouTube video called, "Divine Plumbline," which will give you an idea of what it is about. My opinion is that it is best if you could find a reputable church or ministry that does this type of retreat.
I mention the Plumbline because it's the one I've had experience with. I used to be depressed, bitter, wounded, and frightened but this teaching, along with a few others that the host ministry showed, taught me how to relate to God regarding receiving healing from Him. Most important was how God worked through the teachings. Signs and wonders followed. Some call it inner healing but since I also need physical healing, I want all the healing I can get and so I call it healing. All of the above.
Other teacher videos are Floyd McClung's The Root And Fruit Of Pride, and some videos by Derek Prince. McClung has a video on YouTube with the name The Root And Fruit Of Pride, which will also give you an idea of what it's about. Prince has many videos on YouTube.
Good to see you are still reaching out. It was my sheer desperation that propelled me into this; I'm glad because this is God's way and that's why it works. Shalom. P.S. I'm going for the 5-Days in the near future. My first time in 19 years. God told me that He's going to do something special when I go, so I'm getting excited.
I wanted to let you know that I am not a part of these ministries and have never received anything for talking about them. When I first went and God blew the doors off my car, I sometimes struggled to find the right words to express my gratitude, and a few times I came off sounding like the ministry had more to do with it than they did. They beseeched me not to give them any credit due to God because otherwise, God would have to humble them. God does say that He won't share His glory and so He shouldn't. After all, He alone is worthy of our praise.
As far as the unforgivable sin goes, as long as you are concerned about your sin, I wouldn't worry about it. At one time or another, I think most Christians deal with this worry. I've never met someone who actually did it. All the best, Ron. P.S. Don't take my word for it, look to the word and talk with those you trust and respect. Shalom.