My testimony, long ramble style (lol)
I came to Christ at age 13. For 3 years, I'd been hearing Jesus call my name, and speaking to my heart, revealing Himself to me. I would be walking down the street with not the best intentions (age 10), and He was calling me by name, wooing my heart, telling me He loved me and that the life I knew wasn't His plan for me. This went on for 3 years.
Finally, on January 12th of 1986, I surrendered at age 13. And from there, I was head over heels for Him. I spent hours each day in my Bible, running references and copying scriptures into notebooks.... in prayer, lots of heart communion with God, often intercessory prayer for lost loved ones, and listening to southern gospel music I'd recorded off Sunday morning Southern Gospel time (something like 6am till 12pm) and the "Gospel Greats" on Saturday mornings with Paul Heil. I had a radio/cassette player and I wrote "JESUS" in bold letters with permanent marker across the speaker and determined that nothing but Christian music/content was allowed to be played on my radio or cassette player. I got ridiculed for that a lot.
One day, my relatives on my mom's side came to visit. They came to try to intimidate me because I had befriended a girl they hated. I befriended her because she had gone through a lot of abuse and she needed a friend. They didn't like that went against their wishes. So while my friend was at my house, they showed up.
An older cousin (old enough to be my aunt) decided to make her way to the bedroom where I kept my radio. She put her Rock & Roll cassette in it and within about 2 seconds, my cassette player started chewing it up!! LOL!
Another time, I was home alone and this same cousin called my home and began to say some very hateful things to me in the presence of my little brother who was at her home (accusations about my dad and I, mainly because they loved causing me pain). She then threatened to come.to my house and beat me up. What immediately came out of my mouth was, "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!" She scoffed and laughed at me ....and I could hear my other relatives in the background laughing when she said, "She rebuked me in the name of Jesus! Hahaha!"
Well, she hung up and she never showed up. About 4 days later she called and apologized because she couldn't sleep for 3 nights. God wouldn't let her sleep. I recently reconnected with her. She has become a believer. She's in her late 60's and is still a baby Christian. But God is faithful.
God revealed to me early on ....within a few months after I accepted Him ....the evil influence behind secular music. I had already lost my desire for it, but hadn't policed what I was exposed to very diligently (if it was playing in the house, for instance). One day I fell asleep on my bed while the radio was on and when the words, "Rock me, Amadeus" came through the speakers, an evil entity attacked me physically. I jumped up, turned it off, and that was it. I knew to guard my heart with all diligence. This is part of the sanctification process and I know God does this with all His children in many ways and many instances .....but will we listen?
It wasn't all sunshine and roses after I accepted Christ. I was still abused, and used, and broken. But God kept me. He nourished me, grew me, strengthened me.... and moved me toward a time when I would be able to face my past. That was His doings, because if we never acknowledge the truth of what our past was, we can't effectively give it to Him and allow healing to come.
My abuse has never ended ....as you know, to this day, I am stalked and punished. At times ....well, their preferred punishment or way of gaining access is by use of a taser ....and/or drugs .....and usually torture of some sort follows. But I know it angers them that they cannot do more than God will allow. I found myself praying over a year ago that God would give me the opportunity to witness to them when they are hurting me. It came out of my mouth in prayer from someplace deep one day. I know His heart is that none be lost.
This is part one... part 2 to come...
