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Our walks seem to have so many similarities, Nancy. I was saved in '72 and was immediately thrust into the prevailing Jesus Movement of those days, meeting in homes with young people, some of whom felt they were called to be leaders, followed by announcements they made to that effect. My interest was to remain in fellowship, but my greatest desire was to complete my academic pursuits at the college, then university. I was never permitted into the inner workings of any of the groups with whom I met. Instead, I was always the outsider, mostly because I struggled financially as a student and had very little to give to any church or home group. Without money, one is never acknowledged, which will always be the case as I view the church world today.
After moving from home groups, I joined a larger Charismatic church. I was still hitchhiking to campus and collecting soda bottles which I redeemed to have enough money for one meal each day. Consequently, no one, especially not the major cliques of any of the places I stepped into for fellowship, welcomed me or shook my hand. And why would they? I had no money to give them, and so, as a means to give, I played the bass for worship any time there was a service, day or night. Not once was a paid a dime. It was my way of giving back, but even that wasn't really accepted as a contribution, but rather a desire to perform, to flaunt my talent.
Then, once I graduated, moved North, then back to FL, God led me to a good paying job, and so I was able to give offerings to the church I was attending. It was regular and always the same amount every Sunday, which, finally, got me noticed. Was I greeted at the door? Absolutely, the pastor stood right there to welcome me as I walked in, shook my hand, asked me about myself, and pretended to by my friend. I really didn't know him. He never asked me over to his house or to join him fishing or something, but he did show a welcoming attitude when I continued to pay my tithes. Because the services at that gathering never ended with an altar call, I chose to move on, searched for years for a replacement, but the places were all the same....and so I stay at home and like it this way. After all, there's far too much church politics these days.