Josho, how are you? I hope you are well and less anxious. If I have one message and testimony to share that maybe can help someone, it is this: God has completely lifted my anxiety and fear of the unknown. Years ago, whenever someone gave a tense and fidgety woman(that's me) the advice of "be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind" and "continue in My word and the truth shall set you free" I said I understood, but secretly, I did not believe the Word as medicine from all the traumas of life. Secretly I thought: you have no idea how messed up I am. I have always carried the label "quirky" because of my many quirks. Most of these quirks were negative but still they were a part of me. They became a definition for who I am. I thought I would have to live with those quirks for the rest of my life. My husband used to say that I am the weakest person he has ever seen. It is true. And I used to be offended whenever I was told I am weak. I used to be offended whenever the verse pertaining to a woman as "the weaker vessel" would come up in conversation. Now I say: thank you. I am weak and I am thankful. I am thankful I am weak and need Him every single day.
Josho, over the span of my life: I have had to sign in to the mental ward of the hospital for treatment (when I was younger), seen countless counselors and psychiatrist, taken all kinds of medications (Xanax, antidepressants...), and eventually learned to cope by just checking out, advoiding people, life and became a hermit. None of those things ever touched my anxiety level. None of those things ever released me from my prison of torment and fear. All of the torment coming from within my own mind.
God has removed every bit of it. My quirks (although I had learned to accept those negative quirks as a part of me) are completely gone. No more panic attacks. Now I live life. I go in crowds. I sit elbow to elbow in the pew at church (at the front, rather than near the exit). My husband and I are facing more than ten court cases over the next couple of weeks. We are being sued left and right, basically for telling the truth, rather than lying. A mountain of lies on the other- side is building(multiple cases). I have no idea how we are going to defeat those lies. That is the common denominator in all the cases: lies coming up against God's truth: the truth that light coming in brings mans deed into the light and sets them free. Truth really does set a person free. But it seems the world will fight the truth coming into the light with a vengeance. One case involves a little boy(we love this little boy so a lot is at stake) and his well-being and safety for the rest of his life is going to be decided within the courts. Truth against lies. My husband lies awake at night, tossing and turning, consumed by stress and anxiety over all that is being thrown at us. I sense his restlessness and his mind racing and tell him: go to sleep, there is nothing to fear. God has got it. No matter the outcome. God has got it.
My husband told someone the other night that there has been a complete reversal in our home: now he is the one anxious, and I am calm. I couldn't help but smile while overhearing it, not because I did anything to change it...God changed me. My husband told me "do you realize your quirks are gone?". Yes. I realize it. I don't know if you suffer from anxiety, Josho. Or if anyone coming to the board suffers and feels trapped and hopeless. But I promise. I have seen and experienced it. God really can remove the anxiety and fear, and give peace...peace under any circumstance. God gives rest. I am still weak, but I now rest in the fact that He IS my strength in every circumstance. I used to think it would take a miracle for my shoulders to relax and my "what if's" to silence...God is that miracle.
Thanks for your post, I still get stressed and worried, maybe even more than i used to get, but I'm glad God has gotten rid of your stress and worries.
