Husbands, love your wives

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MA2444

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I'm starting to appreciate being a boomer, lol. Thanks God I'm not a young guy in search of a wife in todays market, lol. I dunno if it was my dad or the times or the books I read or what but somehow when I was a young guy I learned respect for women. The were the girls and you cater to them and lift them up. Cherish them and honor them. And the way people are nowadays it's easy to see why there are such troubles in relationships and why men are no generally treating women properly anymore. But it's a tit for tat society where when one partner treats the other one wrong and makes a mistake, it turns into later well he did this to me so I did that to him. Neither one of them acted properly.

And many people are natural scorekeepers. I believe this dooms that relationship to failure.
Why should I give her the princess treatment if she cheated on me? Why should I be a Proverbs 31 wife to him after he blacked my eye?

What led up to my marriage at that time was I was a young single man and wanted to sow my oats as much as possible. I never used protection in my life, it was a non issue. I was dumb to an extent. But when I started dating the Polish girl she made wait and that intrigued me. And boy did she get pregnant fast! I saw it before she did! I thought uh-oh this just got real. That little girl's having my baby I better get her a place to live with me so I can take care of her, get her out of her parents house which she wanted to do anyway. She could barely speak English and she had such a wonderfully humble spirit, I found it irresistible and fell in love with that girl. I took good care of her. I was a poor youg man but I was on my way up, lol. We started out with nothing and in time built a great life. But I wanted to be good to her and I was.

I was the young kid hanging with adult when I grew up and I seen the losers and heard what people say about them, both male and female. And I seen people like to use labels, and labels seem to stick for a long time. I didnt want to be that guy who was a loser so I treated her right, like a fragile princess and wound up falling hard for her. he had such a humble soirit and such a good heart. She was nothing like the girls in the US. SO no wonder I married her.

WHy am I telling you this? Because, we got do close because I gave her all my attention that the Polish girl fell in love with me too and we got so close that we could communicate telepathically. I am not kidding and Who cares if you don't believe me, lol. But we both were treating each other like the scriptures tell us to treat each other. She was a Proverbs 31 wife, (for a long time). We talked so much and got so close that I noticed that some questionably spooky things happened. Mild enough at first, I'd say something and she'd say, I was just thinking the same thing! We had friends over and they were talking about something, and me and her would look at each other and I knew what she was thinking. And I thought whoa is this for real? Is this what being in love really is? So I tested it. I kept looking at her we'd have eye contact and I knew what she was thinking so I started responding to it in my head (heart?) and the next thing I know is one of my friends saying you two gonna gawk at each other all night? But later I compared notes with her and said when I looked at you were you thinking (XXXX?) and she said yes, and we went through the whole conversation and she said yes she knew exactly what I was thinking too! As an extra test for it I had tried changing the subject of what we were speaking about to something else and she told me what it was!

Is that spooky or is just real reality? I kept testing it here and there and one day she was upstairs doing something with the baby I think and I was downstairs in the L/R and wanted to see if I could call her and bring her to me telepathically! She was upstairs and I didnt even speak I just focused on her (God I loved her!) and sweetheart please come to me downstairs. I kid you not about 15 seconds later she's on the stairway coming down asking if I need something....!!!

So my take on it is, that was real and we used it for awhile, I told her about it and that it was real. But eventually she got Americanized and jumped ship (I can do better!) I wish her well. But before she got materialistic we was in some serious love, and that was a benefit of it. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and if the man treats her according to biblical principles and she wants to treat you like a Proverbs 31 wife, it winds up being a better relationship than just going through the motions where people squabble all the time, why even try? It took some humbling on my part to be better towards this Polish girl because I hadnt ever met a girl like this before. Raised on a farm poor in Poland. So she could do everything! She could cook dinner from the gravel in the driveway! Lol. We had two sons back to back and I bet I didnt change more than a half dozen diapers. She wouldnt let me, I'll do it and she would just do it. I never had to tell her to clean the house or to cook. She was the perfect Mother and an excellent wife. WHat guy wouldn't fall in love with that? She could even sew. (But she grew out of that, lol!) I just had to see her sew. It was something I didnt see much of with American girls so I asked her to fix a few holes in my socks and she said no problem and put a light bulb down the sock at the hole and was done fast! She could do everything!

SO if you and your hubby isnt telepathic maybe you can work that way. The recipe has already been posted in the thread. All of the scriptures about men, cherish them Wives and so that is exactly what the man has to do. And so if he does, that may inspire your other to be the Proverbs 31 wife to you. And it isn't a list of rules, I don't see it like that. It's called being in Love with them in your heart. I used to think that Love is a Two-Way Street...Not so! It's a one way street. I dont care what she does to me, what's that have to do with my love for her? Nothing. You wither love them or you don't. I may not trust her anymore but I love her.

Can you guys see that marriage on earth is a dry run for us to learn how to get-into relationship and treat our spouse in preparation for becoming the bride of Christ?

Jesus isn't a score keeper. He don't hold no grudges or play get back, lol. So if you hold resentment for your spouse over something in your heart it is like dropping a seed of bitterness into your heart and it'll just sit there and grow if you don't cut it out. Resentment and unforgiveness is never good to hold onto.
 

Lambano

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Usually, if the man (who was created first) walks in love toward his wife, it is a natural response for her to love him back ...and to respect him, and all the rest.
Sigh. I wish it were so. I can't help but think of my older son's first marriage. Two strong-willed control freaks type-A personalities. Even trivial issues became a power struggle for control. When they finally announced they were getting divorced, my first thought was, "What took you guys so long?"
 
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MA2444

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^^^^^the above is not worth reading^^^^^

Wow that's some hateful post right there. I remember you now. You got mad at me in another thread for seeing through your lies. You've never met me so don't know me, so why would you project onto me that hate that you hold in your heart towards another which doe you wrong?

You see reader, this is the type of girl that I was talking about, a scorekeeper and I must have touched a nerve with her for her to lash out at me like that. She is a walking talking red flag so she has so much hatred and bitterness within her heart that she is unable to attract a godly man and any relationship she might enter into is all about gotcha last. She will never be a girl that men would treat her like a Proverbs 31 wife. She doesnt know any better. You see why I said foreign wives make better wives than those American girls?with their uppity self entitlement who only brings drama and hatred with their score keeping self, and she will wind up with a bad man and will have to stay with him because she cant attract a decent man and she knows it. But me and her's disagreement was weeks ago! I forgot all about it. Apparently she has been carrying it around with her ever since then and prolly dwelling on it and the hate she feels towards all men is projected onto others who never even met her because this is what I was talking about (not her specifically) but she let a seed of bitterness get planted in her heart and she hs nourished it by spending lots of time on it in her mind.

So it grew into a root of bitterness and with this girl it actually sounds like it is a tree of bitterness and hate now within her heart. Thinking back, most of her posts are posts which put men down and make her seem like a helpless trapped victim, where she is most comfortable. She doesnt hardly even mention God or the power of His blood or His love for us because that is who she has become. It has changed her entire outlook on life to be of a dark nature. SO how could she ever be a Proverbs 31 wife? She can't and good men wont give her the time of day. Red flag red flag. So they keep walking past her.

About the only thing that you can do for a girl like this is to pray for her. Because her entire demeanor screams big trouble big trouble and they are not worth even talking to! That girl has threatened (promised!) to put me on ignore, and she wont. The hate drive is strong with this one. I wasnt talking to her or about her so why would she attempt to belittle me in that way and not just leave it alone? Is it demonization? A black heart? Maybe!

Little girl, I wish you would go away. Don't talk to me. Don't comment on my posts. I will talk to you and call you on it when you lie. And if you don't like that then dont talk to me or about me. Put me on ignore, please! But you wont. You have to have the last word. I'll put you on ignore she says! WHen? You keep promising and promising and still wont keep your word.

There goes this thread? SO now you will destroy this thread with hateful comments and lies until they close it?! This thread was going good and decent Brothers & Sisters were having a good discussion. Why ruin that? Not for me for them. The ones who you wish to call your brothers & sisters in Christ by trying to play helpless victim and strong independent woman at the same time? You don't make sense. You do make red flags though, about many things. Let us have our our discussion and the thread will not be ruined. Is that so hard? Is that something you can do? Can you perhaps focus on the Lord Jesus and not on hatred?
 

TLHKAJ

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Sigh. I wish it were so. I can't help but think of my older son's first marriage. Two strong-willed control freaks type-A personalities. Even trivial issues became a power struggle for control. When they finally announced they were getting divorced, my first thought was, "What took you guys so long?"
I know it happens. I have to wonder what their upbringing was like, tbh. But usually, when a man steps up, things fall into place a lot easier. I've seen it ...and I've seen women pray, pray, and all but beg their husbands to stand in their rightful place. A woman can respect a man who stands ...and I don't mean, lording over, but being a true husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it ....a man who is an example and cultivates his relationship with Christ ...a man who takes a leadership role in leading his family in Bible study ...a man who takes interest in being with his family, doing things with his family, who encourages rather than tears down and criticizes everything ...who appreciates the things his wife does for him and lets her know it ...who readily shows genuine love toward his wife ...who refuses to allow anyone or anything to come between him and his wife ...who is humble and admits his failures and mistakes and isn't ashamed to ask forgiveness and seeks to grow and learn from his mistakes ...who sees his children's emotional and spiritual needs and partners with God and his wife to meet those needs ....these are things a woman can easily respect and respond to.
 

Lambano

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I have to wonder what their upbringing was like, tbh.
I have to laugh (albeit bitterly), because my ex-daughter-in-law's father told us, "Yeah, (she-whose-name-must-never-be-mentioned) is just like her mother!" I only had one interaction with the mother, and it was quite memorable in its unpleasantness. Her parents' marriage didn't last very long, and the mother was on husband number 4. Our son's bio-dad was physically and verbally abusive to the Sweet Lady and to our younger son, so he didn't grow up in the best home environment either.
 
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DuckieLady

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I know it happens. I have to wonder what their upbringing was like, tbh. But usually, when a man steps up, things fall into place a lot easier. I've seen it ...and I've seen women pray, pray, and all but beg their husbands to stand in their rightful place. A woman can respect a man who stands ...and I don't mean, lording over, but being a true husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it ....a man who is an example and cultivates his relationship with Christ ...a man who takes a leadership role in leading his family in Bible study ...a man who takes interest in being with his family, doing things with his family, who encourages rather than tears down and criticizes everything ...who appreciates the things his wife does for him and lets her know it ...who readily shows genuine love toward his wife ...who refuses to allow anyone or anything to come between him and his wife ...who is humble and admits his failures and mistakes and isn't ashamed to ask forgiveness and seeks to grow and learn from his mistakes ...who sees his children's emotional and spiritual needs and partners with God and his wife to meet those needs ....these are things a woman can easily respect and respond to.
Very true. When I got home late last night, @SERVANTedu asked me to set an alarm for him to switch over to his Light Phone. (It ONLY makes calls and texts.)

He wants to be less distracted and more available to the family and I. Which, if he is doing that, I will join him. So I may not be on as much.

It is hard raising families and managing to be mindful in a digital age.
 
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SERVANTedu

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I am right with God. Your approval is not required.
I didn't say "you're not right with God." On the contrary, I'm not a Gnostic so I don't believe that knowledge of mysteries is equal to salvation. I never questioned your relationship with God, just the fidelity of your exegesis.
 

SERVANTedu

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Okay, time for me to stop responding to Scott and weigh in.

The onus is on us as men to wholeheartedly love and self sacrifice for our wives and family. As Christ lived not for Himself, so to I put my boots on every morning not for myself but for Mrs. Duck and the children. The love that Christ showed us (first) is reciprocated by the church, so to Mrs. Duck knows I work a difficult job (that I don't particularly enjoy) and returns that love by seeing it, recognizing that my interest is in providing for and protecting her and the children and as she sees this she trusts that my judgment is in the best interest of the household as a whole. She submits, not because she has to but because she knows I want what she wants and I'm never going to make decisions that harm her or the children.
 

ScottA

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I didn't say "you're not right with God." On the contrary, I'm not a Gnostic so I don't believe that knowledge of mysteries is equal to salvation. I never questioned your relationship with God, just the fidelity of your exegesis.

I wasn't speaking of my salvation, or giving an interpretation of my own, but stating the truth from God. Do you not believe that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever in His acts of revelation here a little there a little, not to be finished until just before time no longer?
 

Dan Clarkston

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when the plain sense makes sense, seek no other sense.

People say this as though it was scripture... I keep waiting for someone to let me know where this is located in God's Word. clueless-scratching.gif

If this is not a quote from the Lord found in His Word... then folks need to quit playing like this is something the Lord said.
 
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Lambano

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"Think of the impact if the first thing radical feminists thought of when the conversation turned to Evangelical men was that they had the best reputation for keeping their marriage vows and serving their wives in the costly fashion of Jesus at the cross." -Phillip Yancey