Hello, allI recently went through a difficult relationship situation and corresponded w/ a "relationship expert" online. When I asked for his take on the situation he called me, a "rude self centered B*TCH!" The name calling is unprofessional and horrendous. Who does that to people they don't even know?I was taken aback to say the least, as I didn't - and still don't - think my actions were "b*tchy" at all. He obviously doesn't know me or the other party, which is good in a way becuase I thought he could be objective.I'm thinking of reporting him to whatever authority appropriate, as this is NOT how he should treat people in need of his services.But more importantly, it's actually made me very sad...What if he's right? What if my behavior (in the original situation that I needed counsel on) were so terrible but I can't even recognize it? It scares me to think I may never have a normal relationship and that I can't trust my own judgment.
I'm so sad - I can not believe he did this!
- Thread starter TooInvolved1
- Start date
-
Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.
You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
What if he is wrong? An "expert",I doubt any so called expert would do this to you,I do not know you/what you did. I do know no matter what nobody deserves to be cursed at and,or called self centered. It is very unprofessional,it is rude,and just wrong,it makes me think he was not taking you seriously. You may not think your actions were wrong,maybe they were not,maybe they were. I would of not gone to this person in the first place,a internet person,or whoever else can not solve your relationship problems. You and Him must take the effort to fix things.I do not think you should bring this to that places attention of his attitude.I am very sorry this has made you sad,but even if he was right,should he still nto enocurage you and help you? This makes me think the guy was in a horrible mood or something. My advice is to look back,and ask the guy or whoever it is with his opinion of it,and actually listen. Most of all pray for this man,I know it may sound hard,but you have to,I will be praying for you! and himGod Bless
(TooInvolved1;44048)
But more importantly, it's actually made me very sad...What if he's right? What if my behavior (in the original situation that I needed counsel on) were so terrible but I can't even recognize it? It scares me to think I may never have a normal relationship and that I can't trust my own judgment.
Who knows, maybe the guy was having a hard day and he took it out on you.However, many times when people say stuff out of anger, there is a kernel of truth to it. I think you mentioned that you were abused when you are younger? (This was in another post). Maybe those experiences come back when you try to form relationships with people. Maybe your personality is more abrasive than you think it is -- or maybe not. You need to find some good friends and ask them what they think of your personality and behavior (friends that hang around you often). If they are good friends, they will tell you the truth -- be willing to listen to the truth. Because they may tell you something that is TRUE, but difficult to listen to.And do realize that you can change your behavior. Be willing to work with God in this manner. God can change your personality. It happened to the Apostle John ya know:http://mcdonaldroad.org/sermons/00/0715.htmAnd remember, some people change
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw6Z54FmZ1U
But more importantly, it's actually made me very sad...What if he's right? What if my behavior (in the original situation that I needed counsel on) were so terrible but I can't even recognize it? It scares me to think I may never have a normal relationship and that I can't trust my own judgment.
Who knows, maybe the guy was having a hard day and he took it out on you.However, many times when people say stuff out of anger, there is a kernel of truth to it. I think you mentioned that you were abused when you are younger? (This was in another post). Maybe those experiences come back when you try to form relationships with people. Maybe your personality is more abrasive than you think it is -- or maybe not. You need to find some good friends and ask them what they think of your personality and behavior (friends that hang around you often). If they are good friends, they will tell you the truth -- be willing to listen to the truth. Because they may tell you something that is TRUE, but difficult to listen to.And do realize that you can change your behavior. Be willing to work with God in this manner. God can change your personality. It happened to the Apostle John ya know:http://mcdonaldroad.org/sermons/00/0715.htmAnd remember, some people change
It is hard to say one way or another. Do not take this as a judgement on you, but I had a sister inlaw who was a B*tch and would not listen to any help from others( This was my brothers first wife) and I currently have a sister inlaw who is one and she wont listen to any help either( this is my brothers second wife). I also have a sister inlaw ( my wifes sister) who knows she is this way and listens to others help but refuses to follow said help. Being a man I was the equvalent until God humbled me and I still have those tendicies and must maintain a humble approach to every situation and seek God for His guidance. The only real help any of us can give you is to seek God and ask Him to search you and guide you to where He wants you. If you are the problem He will make it clear to you and guide to being humble. If you are not the problem i would still suggest maintaining a humble spirit in all situations and constantly seeking God.
Don't be sad ....God will guide you to be strong and to have your own strong judgement to see the bad and good things in your life ..Take care
(RaddSpencer;44121)
Who knows, maybe the guy was having a hard day and he took it out on you.However, many times when people say stuff out of anger, there is a kernel of truth to it. I think you mentioned that you were abused when you are younger? (This was in another post). Maybe those experiences come back when you try to form relationships with people. Maybe your personality is more abrasive than you think it is -- or maybe not. You need to find some good friends and ask them what they think of your personality and behavior (friends that hang around you often). If they are good friends, they will tell you the truth -- be willing to listen to the truth. Because they may tell you something that is TRUE, but difficult to listen to.And do realize that you can change your behavior. Be willing to work with God in this manner. God can change your personality. It happened to the Apostle John ya know:http://mcdonaldroad.org/sermons/00/0715.htmAnd remember, some people change
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw6Z54FmZ1U
Perhaps you're right...I'm on another messageboard too and someone posted a Say Something Nice About Other Posters thread. Lots of people have nice things to say about others. But no one's said anything about me yet. Seems minor but my feelings are hurt. And I'm usually nice to people. But I'm outspoken about my beliefs and it is a very PC board but other Christians had nice things said about them there. There are other people that haven't had nice things mentioned about them either but I just feel hated right now and excluded. Like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
Who knows, maybe the guy was having a hard day and he took it out on you.However, many times when people say stuff out of anger, there is a kernel of truth to it. I think you mentioned that you were abused when you are younger? (This was in another post). Maybe those experiences come back when you try to form relationships with people. Maybe your personality is more abrasive than you think it is -- or maybe not. You need to find some good friends and ask them what they think of your personality and behavior (friends that hang around you often). If they are good friends, they will tell you the truth -- be willing to listen to the truth. Because they may tell you something that is TRUE, but difficult to listen to.And do realize that you can change your behavior. Be willing to work with God in this manner. God can change your personality. It happened to the Apostle John ya know:http://mcdonaldroad.org/sermons/00/0715.htmAnd remember, some people change
Perhaps you're right...I'm on another messageboard too and someone posted a Say Something Nice About Other Posters thread. Lots of people have nice things to say about others. But no one's said anything about me yet. Seems minor but my feelings are hurt. And I'm usually nice to people. But I'm outspoken about my beliefs and it is a very PC board but other Christians had nice things said about them there. There are other people that haven't had nice things mentioned about them either but I just feel hated right now and excluded. Like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
Update:Things are looking up in some areas. A couple of people actually did say someting nice about me on that message board (I was so happy!) and my job situation (which I thought was shaky) seems to be turning around. Praise God!
If you put your trust in humans you will always be dissapointed but God never lets those down who believe in Him.Why do you even care what those people on the message board say God constantly says good things about you and loves you.If that is not enough for you work hard on your relationship with Him and find peace in His love.Read John 33:16
(TooInvolved1;44641)
There are other people that haven't had nice things mentioned about them either but I just feel hated right now and excluded. Like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
You are sensitive (which is not a bad thing). Being excluded from a group is one of my biggest pet peeves. Heck, if a party is going on and we have to wear name tags (I HATE name tags), and they forget mine -- I leave immediately -- no second chances.Even if they are writing it up while I'm going out the door -- they still failed -- I'm leaving.I know how you feel, and BOY is it aggravating. I hate excluding people, and I hate to be excluded. But, don't worry about it, you will eventually find good friends -- it just takes time
.
There are other people that haven't had nice things mentioned about them either but I just feel hated right now and excluded. Like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
You are sensitive (which is not a bad thing). Being excluded from a group is one of my biggest pet peeves. Heck, if a party is going on and we have to wear name tags (I HATE name tags), and they forget mine -- I leave immediately -- no second chances.Even if they are writing it up while I'm going out the door -- they still failed -- I'm leaving.I know how you feel, and BOY is it aggravating. I hate excluding people, and I hate to be excluded. But, don't worry about it, you will eventually find good friends -- it just takes time
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he Prov 23:7If you are scared of being excluded you will always be excluded. Its the same as if you think you are ugly so will other people think you are ugly or if you think people will not like you then they won't like you.The things you think of yourself others will also think of you because thats the way you will act as the verse says.I was the same but luckely God showed me His love and comfort and I do not need people's acceptance any more because I am happy with myself and God's love.And funnyly enough since I have found my acceptance in God, people that would have never liked me are now my best friends.Do not worry about people if you seek to plz God, He will let the right people come on your way and make them your best friends.Remember God gives favor not men
(Craig19;48966)
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he Prov 23:7If you are scared of being excluded you will always be excluded. Its the same as if you think you are ugly so will other people think you are ugly or if you think people will not like you then they won't like you.The things you think of yourself others will also think of you because thats the way you will act as the verse says.I was the same but luckely God showed me His love and comfort and I do not need people's acceptance any more because I am happy with myself and God's love.And funnyly enough since I have found my acceptance in God, people that would have never liked me are now my best friends.Do not worry about people if you seek to plz God, He will let the right people come on your way and make them your best friends.Remember God gives favor not men
amen! I know exactly what you mean and it is true, the more negative we are about ourselves the more people see us as we think we are, rather than what God made us to be. Thoughts are things.....
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he Prov 23:7If you are scared of being excluded you will always be excluded. Its the same as if you think you are ugly so will other people think you are ugly or if you think people will not like you then they won't like you.The things you think of yourself others will also think of you because thats the way you will act as the verse says.I was the same but luckely God showed me His love and comfort and I do not need people's acceptance any more because I am happy with myself and God's love.And funnyly enough since I have found my acceptance in God, people that would have never liked me are now my best friends.Do not worry about people if you seek to plz God, He will let the right people come on your way and make them your best friends.Remember God gives favor not men
amen! I know exactly what you mean and it is true, the more negative we are about ourselves the more people see us as we think we are, rather than what God made us to be. Thoughts are things.....
Similar threads
