Important Talk Speaking Up Against Abuse And Sexual Harassment

[April_Rose]

First of all I want to apologize for running a bit late as I had a few things to take care of and since I'm up earlier than I usually am, it's a bit rough for me moving around right away in the morning, but this is for members like @FluffyYellowDuck and @Amazed@grace who have been talking about being sexually harassed on here and I thought that it would be really nice for us to talk about why it's a really good idea to speak up. So here's a couple of TED Talks on the matter. Since we're running late for the beginning, we can run a bit past noon if we need to. :)

 

[April_Rose]

Btw, even after our prime talk time is over, this thread will continue to be active for further comments. :)

 

[Hidden In Him]

First of all I want to apologize for running a bit late as I had a few things to take care of and since I'm up earlier than I usually am, it's a bit rough for me moving around right away in the morning, but this is for members like @FluffyYellowDuck and @Amazed@grace who have been talking about being sexually harassed on here and I thought that it would be really nice for us to talk about why it's a really good idea to speak up.

I agree, April Rose.

I recall TLHJAK complaining about how men in the community were not coming to the defense of women here when people were posting stuff like that Amos Ministries guy who was defending "Christian" rape. I'm trying to watch out for threads like that now, so they can be headed off before they even start.

God bless, and hope you have a wonderful day!
- H

 

[April_Rose]

I agree, April Rose.

I recall TLHJAK complaining about how men in the community were not coming to the defense of women here when people were posting stuff like that Amos Ministries guy who was defending "Christian" rape. I'm trying to watch out for threads like that now, so they can be headed off before they even start.

God bless, and hope you have a wonderful day!
- H

Agreed. It's just like both speakers were just talking about,.. no matter who you are or what gender you are, by not speaking up you aren't solving the problem you're only making it worse. Thank you for bringing up @TLHJAK though, because I forget her whole entire story, but she experienced this in real life as well as @Amazed@grace and the question on my mind right now is why do these things happen? I have not experienced this for myself luckily but when a man, woman, or child is being raped and or sexually harassed my question has always been why. I know that God has allowed the human race to have free will,.. but these are the times my faith is questioned and I start doubting where He is as I've personally known people that this has happened to I'm sad to say.

 

[MatthewG]

Its healthy for two people to have open communication between each other this is just in the consideration of those who are abused by the way a person may speak to you. The only way to talk about that with the other person is to be honest about the way you feel and the allowance of the other to understand while actively listening and pay attention and vice versa.

Abuse sucks, (have been the abuser myself). Thank God for the Lord Jesus Christ!

 

[April_Rose]

Abuse sucks, (have been the abuser myself). Thank God for the Lord Jesus Christ!

Wow, that took guys to admit. Now as a past abuser do you mind answering the question of why you did it? I actually heard that ninety-nine point nine percent of abusers were abused themselves at some point in their life. Sad, but I can believe that it's true.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Thank you for bringing up @TLHJAK though, because I forget her whole entire story, but she experienced this in real life as well as @Amazed@grace and the question on my mind right now is why do these things happen? I have not experienced this for myself luckily but when a man, woman, or child is being raped and or sexually harassed my question has always been why.

I have not either, and a brother was mentioning to me just yesterday what it must be like when someone does that to you. It really caused me to think about them and the trauma it must put them through, having to relive that again when they see or read certain things. Makes me feel badly for some of the the insensitivity I have shown lately as well... no place for that in the body of Christ if we would love others as we would have them love us.

I know that God has allowed the human race to have free will,.. but these are the times my faith is questioned and I start doubting where He is as I've personally known people that this has happened to I'm sad to say.

My normal answer here has always been that the Lord will work it out for glory to those who love Him, and who endure, and don't allow what the enemy has done to cause them to lose faith and hope in God. But then, being a woman and having to go through abuse like that must be a much harder thing to deal with than those who have not experienced it can know...

So maybe my answer would still be the same, but I would not be so flippant as to simply throw it out there like it's a piece of cake to do. I think those who experience something truly horrific like that should be shown the utmost consideration for what they've gone through, and are still going through.

 

[April_Rose]

I still have a deep love and a passion for God, (I wouldn't be here or writing a whole book series about Him if I didn't) I just can't help but question His reasonings sometimes is all. I thank Him that I never had to experience it myself, but a couple friends of mine were abused and it took awhile for word to get out. Now I understand why one of them tended to act out quite a bit. I can't possibly even imagine what she must have been feeling.



My boyfriend's mother was molested by her uncle herself when she was a child and nobody believed her either. Now that's really sad. She went through a lot of pain and torture just by the act itself,.. but then her own family didn't believe her.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I just watched this video, and I liked her letter.

You have to be a fighter, and refuse to back down from fear or the source of it. And as she described, when one person stands up and fights, others will start to stand up as well, and they become an army. I think this applies to all forms of social injustice also. The saddest and most heart-wrenching things I have ever seen - things I can't forget - are stories of girls who were so badly bullied and ostracized on social media that they ended up taking their lives. Very hard to control my anger when I see stories like that on a television shows.

And I noticed you posted a paragraph about bullying in your signature for awhile. I'm fully in support of that. Still sort of breaks my heart thinking about the one girl who was hated by everyone is school but thought she finally had a friend when this boy took an interest in her and wrote to her everyday. She looked forward to it, and he was the light of her life. Then one day he turned on her for no reason and told her that everything everyone said about her was true and he hated her. She was so devastated she took her life on camera.

Turned out three of the girls and a mother who hated her had been using a false identity just to build her hopes up and then crush her spirit.

Very hard to think about what kind of human beings can do that sort of thing. <been crying through most of this post just thinking about it again>

 

[April_Rose]

I just watched this video, and I liked her letter.

You have to be a fighter, and refuse to back down from fear or the source of it. And as she described, when one person stands up and fights, others will start to stand up as well, and they become an army. I think this applies to all forms of social injustice also. The saddest and most heart-wrenching things I have ever seen - things I can't forget - are stories of girls who were so badly bullied and ostracized on social media that they ended up taking their lives. Very hard to control my anger when I see stories like that on a television shows.

And I noticed you posted a paragraph about bullying in your signature for awhile. I'm fully in support of that. Still sort of breaks my heart thinking about the one girl who was hated by everyone is school but thought she finally had a friend when this boy took an interest in her and wrote to her everyday. She looked forward to it, and he was the light of her life. Then one day he turned on her for no reason and told her that everything everyone said about her was true and he hated her. She was so devastated she took her life on camera.

Turned out three of the girls and a mother who hated her had been using a false identity just to build her hopes up and then crush her spirit.

Very hard to think about what kind of human beings can do that sort of thing. <been crying through most of this post just thinking about it again>

Yes you bring up another good point. Suicide, another serious issue that not a lot of people seem to want to talk about,.. but if it's not talked about how is the awareness there? I also know somebody who committed this act a few years back due to bullying actually and I started blaming myself for not doing more. I saw the signs there and even though I spoke that they were talking about taking their own life I didn't take them seriously and I feel like crying right now thinking that I'm still partly to blame even though I don't think there's anything else that I could have done. Yes, they were saved,.. and yes I believe that they are in Heaven now because of it and because of the fact that if Jesus meant that suicide was the unforgiveable sin He would have said suicide.






I'm going to go take a shower now, but go ahead and continue to talk amongst yourselves and I'll check for updates as soon as I'm out. Again, I know I'm known for fun and lighthearted discussions and activities,(which don't forget that my virtual pizza party begins at eight pm et lol ) but I felt like this was a very important and long overdue discussion and the fact that members on here were bringing serious issues like these to my attention,.. I thought that it just made it that much more important.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Thy "why" question....wow. That is something that only God can give the answer to. He knows exactly what we need and has our answers.

If you are supporting a victim through their "why" questions, sometimes the best response is to offer validation and comfort, and pray for them/with them as they come to the place where they can express their pain and questions to God.

As some of you may know, I was born into severe multigenerational abuse and experienced mind shattering trauma from the womb and throughout my life (tortures, rapes, satanic rituals, deaths, etc). That caused me to develop many alter personalities in order to survive and cope with the traumas.

Back in 2006, I had a child alter who came forward who asked Jesus the question,"Where were You?" He said, "I was there with you." She then asked... "But why?!" At that point, He picked her up and held her in His arms. She could see right into His face. And what she saw answered all her questions. His face was so wet with tears, streaming, flowing down...there was not one place on His face that wasn't wet with tears.

So genuine were His tears and pain, she tried to wipe away His tears with her hands, but His tears wouldn't diminish. At that moment, she knew that the tears she cried, she did not cry alone. The rejection, and pain she felt, she did not feel alone. The abuses and tortures she experienced, she did not experience alone.

See, Jesus Christ is truly our Great High Priest who is touched with the feeling of my infirmities...and yours...and that of the whole world! He chose to drink that cup when He went to the cross. He took it all upon Himself. He said, inasmuch as you've done it into the least of one of these, you have done it into Me. Jesus's suffering has not ended. He suffers when we suffer. We are never truly alone. He willingly entered into our sufferings, and that is what He calls each of us to do as well....enter into His suffering.

Jesus still weeps. The time when He will wipe away every tear is still future. But until then, while we still live in this fallen world, there is suffering, sorrow, and tears. So look for ways and opportunities to be like Jesus... sit with the suffering, love them, listen, speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, pray for them, encourage them (not preach at them) ...walk gently with them toward the Lord.

I've rambled a little bit. I'm going to post and maybe come back and edit (if need be).

I'm going to tag @Jostler here, because he is someone who has chosen to enter into Christ's sufferings by walking alongside others who have experienced horrific abuse.

Great topic, @April_Rose.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Back in 2006, I had a child alter who came forward who asked Jesus the question,"Where were You?" He said, "I was there with you." She then asked... "But why?!" At that point, He picked her up and held her in His arms. She could see right into His face. And what she saw answered all her questions. His face was so wet with tears, streaming, flowing down...there was not one place on His face that wasn't wet with tears.

So genuine were His tears and pain, she tried to wipe away His tears with her hands, but His tears wouldn't diminish. At that moment, she knew that the tears she cried, she did not cry alone. The rejection, and pain she felt, she did not feel alone. The abuses and tortures she experienced, she did not experience alone.

See, Jesus Christ is truly our Great High Priest who is touched with the feeling of my infirmities...and yours...and that of the whole world! He chose to drink that cup when He went to the cross. He took it all upon Himself. He said, inasmuch as you've done it into the least of one of these, you have done it into Me. Jesus's suffering has not ended. He suffers when we suffer. We are never truly alone. He willingly entered into our sufferings, and that is what He calls each of us to do as well....enter into His suffering.

Jesus still weeps. The time when He will wipe away every tear is still future. But until then, while we still live in this fallen world, there is suffering, sorrow, and tears. So look for ways and opportunities to be like Jesus... sit with the suffering, love them, listen, speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, pray for them, encourage them (not preach at them) ...walk gently with them toward the Lord.

Best "ramble" I've ever seen you post.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Best "ramble" I've ever seen you post.

Thank you...

 

[TLHKAJ]

I have not either, and a brother was mentioning to me just yesterday what it must be like when someone does that to you. It really caused me to think about them and the trauma it must put them through, having to relive that again when they see or read certain things. Makes me feel badly for some of the the insensitivity I have shown lately as well... no place for that in the body of Christ if we would love others as we would have them love us.

Yes. I know that I have reacted and responded strongly over the last few weeks or so after seeing thread after thread after thread by men claiming God condones rape, and that God condones marital abuse/rape ...and others belittling women and misinterpreting scripture to fit their agendas. It is an epidemic far worse than the fake c19. So, seeing men clamour to one thread where they could talk about what they like in a woman (which mostly relates to beauty and submission and servitude) ...while this other thread (claiming God condones rape) had 0% of those men's attention...and then again with subsequent "rape" threads ...I have been even more disgusted with the church world...or what most religious people call "the church." It is a sad representation of who Jesus Christ is. I don't see very many men who are willing to defend the poor, needy, and abused. I see women doing that .....but with all the talk about men as leaders and being the head, being stronger, etc .....where the heck are these "men" when it comes to actually walking the walk as Jesus would?

Sorry, another ramble..... lol

 

[TLHKAJ]

So anyway ....maybe this thread will weed out the briars and we will see some participation of some real men of God. They do exist ...I know of at least one... @Jostler ...who was (virtually) persecuted and booted from another Christian(?) forum for standing up for the truth and defending victims of sex trafficking. (And they subsequently booted me for the same, and they protected a cult infiltrator who wiggled his way onto the mod team while gaslighting me so as to get me banned.)

 

[April_Rose]

Btw, just for confirmation before I respond to this quote,.. @MatthewG, I did not mean to call you out or make you feel embarrassed when I asked you why you were an abuser as it's all water under the bridge now and you're a new creation in Christ. I was just sort of hoping that we could get into the mindset of what an abuser is thinking and feeling when he commits those crimes. As I stated before, more often not they were abused themselves at one point and so as Christians (or people in general actually) we really shouldn't jump to conclusions and judge them as wicked people when they just might not know and understand that it's wrong and it's wrong to show their anger that way.




Also, just in case anybody's wondering,.. bullying and suicide are on topic because bullying relates to abuse and often times unfortunately suicide is the result of bullying and it needs to end.

Thy "why" question....wow. That is something that only God can give the answer to. He knows exactly what we need and has our answers.

If you are supporting a victim through their "why" questions, sometimes the best response is to offer validation and comfort, and pray for them/with them as they come to the place where they can express their pain and questions to God.

As some of you may know, I was born into severe multigenerational abuse and experienced mind shattering trauma from the womb and throughout my life (tortures, rapes, satanic rituals, deaths, etc). That caused me to develop many alter personalities in order to survive and cope with the traumas.

Back in 2006, I had a child alter who came forward who asked Jesus the question,"Where were You?" He said, "I was there with you." She then asked... "But why?!" At that point, He picked her up and held her in His arms. She could see right into His face. And what she saw answered all her questions. His face was so wet with tears, streaming, flowing down...there was not one place on His face that wasn't wet with tears.

So genuine were His tears and pain, she tried to wipe away His tears with her hands, but His tears wouldn't diminish. At that moment, she knew that the tears she cried, she did not cry alone. The rejection, and pain she felt, she did not feel alone. The abuses and tortures she experienced, she did not experience alone.

See, Jesus Christ is truly our Great High Priest who is touched with the feeling of my infirmities...and yours...and that of the whole world! He chose to drink that cup when He went to the cross. He took it all upon Himself. He said, inasmuch as you've done it into the least of one of these, you have done it into Me. Jesus's suffering has not ended. He suffers when we suffer. We are never truly alone. He willingly entered into our sufferings, and that is what He calls each of us to do as well....enter into His suffering.

Jesus still weeps. The time when He will wipe away every tear is still future. But until then, while we still live in this fallen world, there is suffering, sorrow, and tears. So look for ways and opportunities to be like Jesus... sit with the suffering, love them, listen, speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, pray for them, encourage them (not preach at them) ...walk gently with them toward the Lord.

I've rambled a little bit. I'm going to post and maybe come back and edit (if need be).

I'm going to tag @Jostler here, because he is someone who has chosen to enter into Christ's sufferings by walking alongside others who have experienced horrific abuse.

Great topic, @April_Rose.

Thank you and I'm glad you brought that up because I think most of the time we don't even realize how much God loves us. In my recent story God as DJ and my other character Mick get into a car wreck. The first thing that is on DJ's mind is not his own pain, but his thoughts directly go to Mick which mirrors what happens to Jesus on the cross. DJ wasn't weeping for himself, he was weeping for his son and Jesus cared more about our salvation and being reconciled with us then He did for being brutally beaten. Speaking of beaten, that one girl that I mentioned earlier was being beaten by her own father. Luckily, and thank the Lord above she was saved in time,.. but that isn't always the case. The following video is based upon a true story that occurred in the news awhile back about a little girl with a tragic ending. :'(

 

[TLHKAJ]

And I noticed you posted a paragraph about bullying in your signature for awhile. I'm fully in support of that. Still sort of breaks my heart thinking about the one girl who was hated by everyone is school but thought she finally had a friend when this boy took an interest in her and wrote to her everyday. She looked forward to it, and he was the light of her life. Then one day he turned on her for no reason and told her that everything everyone said about her was true and he hated her. She was so devastated she took her life on camera.

Turned out three of the girls and a mother who hated her had been using a false identity just to build her hopes up and then crush her spirit.

This is heartbreaking how even a mother could bully someone else's child and revel in it to the point of driving this child to suicide. Lord, that breaks my heart!! How much more, the heart of God?!

I couldn't tell you how many times I tried to die. I didn't know all the classic ways of doing it. But even at age 5, I knew that if someone holds a pillow over your face long enough, you stop breathing. And I knew that boxes had limited oxygen. (I had experienced both.)
So I would take a pillow and crawl into my little brother's toy box, shut the lid, and hold a pillow over my face, hoping I would just die. Or I would go way under my blanket with a pillow and try to die.

Idk why some live and others die. But I sure know the feeling of just not wanting to be in this life anymore. In 1997, when I was 25 years old, after being hit with severe electronic harassment (voice-to-skull and EMF) for months, I cried out to God to let me die. He spoke to me in that moment, "Your life is hidden with Christ in God." I remember where I was when He spoke it. I was walking down my hallway ...and His voice stopped me in my tracks! I said, "What did You say?!" He spoke again..."Your life is hidden with Christ in God!" Those words are what held me through literally years of V2K (voice-to-skull) and EMF harassment, and all the way to this present day. I taught my kids the same ...Colossians 3:3, "You are dead, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." No matter what we face, there is hope and refuge in Christ.

 

[Truman]

You mean some real men of God who are called to this?
Sexual abuse is a terrible thing.
I went through a time of grieving over not being able to help people like Liz Crokin and you.
As I'm led by the Spirit of God, I do what He leads me to do.
I also have a heart for those who have been ravaged by things that creep in the night.
If you think that by my non-participation in your crusade that I'm a brier, well...
We are all pieces in God's puzzle and need to fit where we were made to fit.
Myself, I believe that if we all practiced Luke 9:23, there would be less for you to do.
But, putting God first, is of utmost importance to me. :)

 

[April_Rose]

Btw, @TLHKAJ,.. your post made me cry. :'(

 

[April_Rose]

This is heartbreaking how even a mother could bully someone else's child and revel in it to the point of driving this child to suicide. Lord, that breaks my heart!! How much more, the heart of God?!

I couldn't tell you how many times I tried to die. I didn't know all the classic ways of doing it. But even at age 5, I knew that if someone holds a pillow over your face long enough, you stop breathing. (I had experienced both.) And I knew that boxes had limited oxygen. So I would take a pillow and crawl into my little brother's toy box, shut the lid, and hold a pillow over my face, hoping I would just die. Or I would go way under my blanket with a pillow and try to die.

Idk why some live and others die. But I sure know the feeling of just not wanting to be in this life anymore. In 1997, when I was 25 years old, after being hit with severe electronic harassment (voice-to-skull and EMF) for months, I cried out to God to let me die. He spoke to me in that moment, "Your life is hidden with Christ in God." I remember where I was when He spoke it. I was walking down my hallway ...and His voice stopped me in my tracks! I said, "What did You say?!" He spoke again..."Your life is hidden with Christ in God!" Those words are what held me through literally years of V2K (voice-to-skull) and EMF harassment, and all the way to this present day. I taught my kids the same ...Colossians 3:3, "You are dead, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." No matter what we face, there is hope and refuge in Christ.

This post made me cry as well. I was also bullied as a child and attempted suicide but I was talked out of it by a friend thankfully.