Is it ok for parents to use corporal punishment to discipline their children?

[Wrangler]

I agree. Why assault a poor child when there are other non-abusive means of punishment.

Because “assault” and “abuse” is not corporeal punishment. Beating a child with a rod is Biblically proscribed reaction to wayward children.

Your emotionally charged words are falsely applied to those one has no authority over to those one does have authority over. And it is you who fail to expand the principle you espouse to ALL use of violence, including MILITARY and POLICE.

Violence solves problems and more efficiently than any other mechanism. That’s why every country that ever existed employed coercive agents, aka MILITARY and POLICE.

 

[Wrangler]

I was talking about parents using it. They have other means of punishment.

Yes and there is NO REASON parents should abdicate corporeal punishment as a means of punishment.

 

[Wrangler]

You cherry pick scripture to support your thoughts but ignore the ones that oppose them.

Repeating a lie doesn‘t make it true. There is no verse in Scripture that opposes corporeal punishment. Of course you read into verses anything you want.

I'm not saying that corporal punishment is wrong

Agh ha.

I'm just saying that it achieves nothing that non-violent punishments already acheive.

False.

 

[Wrangler]

That can also be done without resorting to corporal punishment.

I’ve long recognized the dangerous “can” of comparing POTENTIAL to actual. What you say again ignores efficiency. I recall that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where a master swordsmen displays his combat expertise …. You know the scene.

 

[Wrangler]

We can at least try non-violent punishments first before resorting to spanking the child

This is what your anti-Scriptural world view has come to? Of course!

A survival expert, Cody Lundin, wrote a book called 98.6, referring to the normal body temperature; the basic principle is to use the fewest calories to achieve the survival goal. Of course!

Slow and steady wins the race. The turtle v the hare. I have multiple tools in my tool box. I said something that even my wife embraced. “It’s time to bring out the heavy artillery.” Sure, I never start with the most bodacious, explosive tool, the sledge hammer, the chain saw, the maul, pick axe, etc.

 

[Wrangler]

This is what I would do.

Not Biblical standard.

Your entire world view on this topic is to put burden on parents in restricting their God-given freedom to invoke violence to efficiently solve problems.

 

[Moontan13]

My question to you was
What does spanking them actually achieve that other forms of punishment don't?

You didn't answer the question I think because corporal punishment doesn't actually achieve anything that a non physical punishment already does.

Corporal punishment gets their attention.

 

[Ephesians6:4]

Had a 2yo son that used to be a handful on multi hour country drives then one day I pulled over and gave his bare legs a few firm stinging spanks, he was never a problem thereafter.

Yeah, imagine a two year old getting frustrated on a multi hour ride with no outlet and no way to move around. An adult would act the same way, especially when there’s nothing else around. It looks like you’re expecting adult expectations from someone who just got here a couple of years ago. Now you’re just teaching your kid, especially one with a developing brain who doesn’t know to properly handle their emotions BECAUSE THEY’RE a kid, that the best way to handle a situation where there’s an “unruly kid” is to smack them. Yet, you would never do that to an adult because that would be assault and battery. Also, it sounds like your kid is mirroring your behavior: if they see you acting out in anger and frustration, then they’re going to . Kids mimic what they see because they’re human sponges. How about you fricking check yourself before you try to justify why, like your kid, you can’t control your anger when people smaller than you does something you don’t like. Hypocrite

 

[TLHKAJ]

Yeah, imagine a two year old getting frustrated on a multi hour ride with no outlet and no way to move around. An adult would act the same way, especially when there’s nothing else around. It looks like you’re expecting adult expectations from someone who just got here a couple of years ago. Now you’re just teaching your kid, especially one with a developing brain who doesn’t know to properly handle their emotions BECAUSE THEY’RE a kid, that the best way to handle a situation where there’s an “unruly kid” is to smack them. Yet, you would never do that to an adult because that would be assault and battery. Also, it sounds like your kid is mirroring your behavior: if they see you acting out in anger and frustration, then they’re going to . Kids mimic what they see because they’re human sponges. How about you fricking check yourself before you try to justify why, like your kid, you can’t control your anger when people smaller than you does something you don’t like. Hypocrite

Two year olds have very different physical and emotional needs. It seems in a situation like that, a talk beforehand would help tremendously. Explain to them that they're about to go on a long drive, and that Dad (or Mom) needs peace and quite so they can drive safely and everyone can have a pleasant drive. Offer some toys or books, and also play games with them. They may actually start looking forward to day trips. There are all sorts of games you can play with kids on trips. (That's what we did with our kids on trips.)

I wish every parent could take lessons from my middle daughter. She very rarely uses any physical punishments (maybe a swat on the buttocks - although I've never seen it, lol), but has amazing communication skills with her 3 children, ages 5, 4, and 1. Her kiddos (my grandchildren) are amazingly polite, well-behaved, bright, and have great communication skills. On top of that, they're considerate and loving, and will often resolve their own conflicts between their siblings. They do get loud on occasion and a 2 or 3 yr old may throw a fit on occasion, but she always manages to accomplish a calm down by using a firm and direct voice (not yelling) and communication with eye contact.

My daughter says she models her parenting after mine. Idk ...but she is a pro, and I love to witness it!

 

[grumix8]

it will depend sometimes it is necessary and not to overdue is to be wise. But good correcting and good love work in growing of person in his life.

 

[TLHKAJ]

it will depend sometimes it is necessary and not to overdue is to be wise. But good correcting and good love work in growing of person in his life.

I agree. This scripture comes to mind in relation to overdoing physical punishment.

Colossians 3:21
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

 

[quietthinker]

Had a 2yo son that used to be a handful on multi hour country drives then one day I pulled over and gave his bare legs a few firm stinging spanks, he was never a problem thereafter.

Well look at that! What do think it was that changed his mind so he complied with what you wanted?

 

[Anchorite]

Deprivation can be a better punishment than violence.

Take away their cell phone, tv, radio, music player, video game console, privileges.

 

[Wrangler]

Deprivation can be a better punishment than violence.

Take away their cell phone, tv, radio, music player, video game console, privileges.

Just how do you plan to take these things away without violence, if need be?

 

[TLHKAJ]

Just how do you plan to take these things away without violence, if need be?

You're the adult with adult skills. Just do it. Use a firm voice, tell them you're very disappointed in their behavior, that you know they can make better choices, and that they will be without their favorite toy/s for a set amount of time and/or until they can sincerely apologize. And if they commit the violation again, remove that item for a longer period.

If they commit the same action habitually, talk to them and ask them if they can identify why they keep doing it. Ultimately, speaking to them in love gets more results than a loud voice and harsh physical punishment, and sending them to isolation in their room. That only breaks their spirits and creates a wedge, and anger.

 

[Wrangler]

You're the adult with adult skills. Just do it.

Imposing corporeal punishment is an adult skill.

 

[Wrangler]

Ultimately, speaking to them in love gets more results than a loud voice and harsh physical punishment, and sending them to isolation in their room. That only breaks their spirits and creates a wedge, and anger.

Wrong. Plan B only exists because “speaking to them in love” proves ineffective, especially when ego and emotions get involved. How many children did you raise? I have so many stories to share.

One story is the constant fighting the girls had over borrowing things. It was madness. I didn’t resort to either corporeal punishment or isolation. Instead, I can up with a contract form. The borrower had to fill it out, including what was borrowed and when, where it was stipulated the article of clothing was to be returned in 24 hours, cleaned, folded and put on the lenders bed. IF the lender didn’t secure the contract, the Complaint would NOT be heard in the Court of Mom and Dad. LOL

 

[Anchorite]

Punishing children with physical violence teaches them to be physically violent with people smaller or weaker than them.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Imposing corporeal punishment is an adult skill.

It's not a skill at all. It requires a lot less effort and is most often done in anger and thus, overdone.

I did use some "spanking" but maybe 1 or 2 swats (not harsh) on the bottom was plenty. By the time they were 5, it wasn't even necessary. I talked to my kids a lot ...not baby talk, and they knew they could talk to me about things.

When my oldest daughter was in her teens things were intense at times, but my best results came from long talks and lots of hugs, laughs... and tears ...and sometimes, holding her and praying.

They really just need the assurance that their parents actually care about them. Connecting with them takes a lot more skill than breaking out a whip, or a belt, or a paddle, a switch, or a hand ....or .... whichever you use(?).

 

[TLHKAJ]

many children did you raise?

I raised 5 children. People used to come up to our table in restaurants and compliment us on how well-behaved our children were. They didn't act out in public.