My two cents on this subject.... Husbands love your wives, wives submit to the Love of the Husband. For a Godly Husband this is not a matter of control and submission in the sense of enslavement, and subservience, but of one of love and receiving that love and drawing near to one another. The Husband is the first actor in a marriage he begins by loving, the wife is the recipient of that love, she draws nearer by receiving the love of the husband.... It is a beautiful way God designed the relationship between husband and wife. This is How Christ loved us, In that while we were yet sinners he died for us. He is the first actor of that Love we respond as the church and bride to that love, by drawing near Him.
Yes. This is the beginning, and fully in line with the mystery of Christ and the church.
The problem is simply that they don't take the analogy far enough IMO, though I can understand why. But Christ Jesus also corrected the church where necessary and was not afraid to lead. He did not shrink back and say, "We are equals here, so I have no right to tell her what to do." That would have been poor leadership on His part, and there were many instances in the New Testament alone where churches were in danger of being deceived and corrupted, so correction was necessary to protect them.
My wife is both smart and spiritual, but that does not mean she has always made the best decisions. If I had let her, we would have been in much more bondage to debt a long time ago, and wouldn't be nearly as happy as we are today. That's an instance I am using from my own marriage, but I believe that with the calling to lead a marriage there comes the wisdom to do so properly if one seeks the Lord for the ability to do so. Granted, there were some decisions she didn't agree with that might not have been the best approach (and notice I said might) but I assented to it and things turned out ok. It's important that wives be wise enough to speak up and not just do everything the husband says, because unlike Christ we are human and capable of making mistakes, and may not always see the entire picture.
But I once again have to reiterate that much of the plan of God for marriage working comes down to choosing a spiritually strong partner. If only one hears from God, they will fight, and constantly. If both can, they may have disagreements but they can work through just about anything, come into some form of agreement, and things work out fine. In every instance where male leadership in the marriage didn't work, it was because of someone's spiritual immaturity; either his or hers, or both.